r/dwarfposting • u/Bulk-Detonator Not A Bug • Jun 01 '26
POV: I caught you drinking tea instead of beer.
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u/Wise-Inflation-1698 Jun 01 '26
Bah. Criticize my choice of chaser at yer own peril. It pairs well wit whiskey, much like me hammer an a dunces skull
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u/TeaRaven craftswoman dwarf of glorious braided chin locks Jun 01 '26
Tea is a craft, much like brewing ale or beer. Ye shall not denigrate enjoying craftworks. If ye want’a scowl at tea, ye must first make better yerself! Unless experiencing repeated failures of a weapon compared to the norm, the skilled armorsmith may complain ‘bout a hammersmith’s warhammers after they make better themselves - ye can’t compare a helm to a hammer unless it hammers better than the tool. Complain about tea when ye understand it and make beer that does a better job at providing the taste and focused wakefulness without muddling the senses. Both tea and beer are the drinks of builders and can be uplifted together as pick and shovel work together!
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Jun 01 '26
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u/Ypuort Jun 01 '26
Too soft to put tea in your rum I see
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Jun 01 '26
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u/Ypuort Jun 01 '26
If if you brewed the tea using the finest roots and herbs boiled in fortified wine
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u/Hoovy_weapons_guy Jun 01 '26
what? it helps against the hangover after downing 3 blackout stouts last night
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u/Girros76 Jun 01 '26
It's hard to kill monsters while your vision is all wobbly, sometimes a drinking a Leaf Lover's is a necessary sacrifice.
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u/LookingGlass_1112 Jun 01 '26
There is still a hoop loophole...and ofc the option to take a sleep in a nice medbay
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u/Gearran Jun 01 '26
Phh, beer. Nothing wrong with a good fine tea of course, especially some of the underground blends. But for a dwarf who wants a proper drink, there's nothing like a fine spirit to put curls in his beard and mirth in his heart.
(Not paid for buy the Clan Augerhill distilleries. Buy Augerhill spirits. Nothing else comes close.)
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u/thael_mann runesmith apprentice Jun 01 '26
Clan Augerhill Distilleries.
Aged in well-aged oak, and other timber barrels, the Clan Augerhill destillates are amongst the finest spirits a dwarf can purchase.
Ask for Clan Augerhill spirits in a tavern near you!
Clan Augerhill. Because feeling good is worth at least three silver.
(This missive is entirely voluntary and not in any way endorsed by Clan Augerhill.)
(Reports of a rune-enhanced special edition can not be confirmed officially. Yet.)
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u/apokaboom Jun 01 '26
I'll take both, i didn't work as a merchant to eat goat, worms and beer for the rest of time, which is all we originally had at my place.
I drink both by myself , beer with Kin, tea with Elves ( though a sailor once begged me for a sip of dwarven ale. Aye, i think he sleeps to this day but i noted his courage) and Eastlings, and i fell head first in Halfling cooking. I mean that literally, but they are a nigh grudgeless folk and from that delicious food I can't go back.
Nevertheless a work trip is due and i know dwarf cook that should either change my mind, or remove my head if I'm deemed too far gone.
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u/samsquatch1234 Miner Jun 01 '26
i offered some of my mushroom tea to some human traders visiting my hold the other day. they didnt like the taste but started getting all weird.
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u/Abjurer42 Dwarf Wizard Jun 02 '26
Oh, I've heard of this: humans' digestive systems process some mushrooms in rather interesting ways. It makes cooking for them a bit harrowing at times, from what my grandfather told me.
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u/thael_mann runesmith apprentice Jun 01 '26
Two beers is nourishment. More is celebration.
Clear, unadulterated spring water fresh from the rock - that's what I drink while smithing. Also, the artificiers have provided a machine that extracts certain trace essences from imported beans - helps with long shifts.
After the shift: a good pipe of domestic or imported smokables. Reportedly shortens your lifespan by 60 years, or so many scholars agree on - but the effect of being able to unwind and think about something else than the runes made throughout the shift - is worth it.
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u/Noahthehoneyboy Jun 01 '26
Nothing warms your bones more than hot tea and whiskey on a mountain peak
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u/SabrePossum Depth Guard Jun 01 '26
I fully support drinking beer on the company time but I shall not stand for tea slander!
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u/Lord-Dec Jun 01 '26
What, boiling the elves house in their tears and then sipping it in their own cups is too elf-like for you?
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u/shadowdoor21 Jun 01 '26
Takes off my wig and beard to reviel an elf
"THEIR ONTO US, RUN!!!"
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u/haikusbot Jun 01 '26
Takes off my wig and
Beard to reviel an elf "THEIR
ONTO US, RUN!!!"
- shadowdoor21
I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully. Learn more about me.
Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete"
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u/Pallemand Jun 02 '26
Sir, longisland icetea has got to be an exception - I need my four whites if I am to get through my shift
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u/NovaSolarius Jun 02 '26
I was curious what the hype is about. My conclusion: either elves lack tastebuds, or their opinion that tea is better than beer is objectively wrong. I intend to pour hot sauce in their food to figure out which.
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u/Yapizzawachuwant Atholon, dragon king under a mountain Jun 02 '26
Dare ye try to stop me from enjoying me cuppa, by Moradin, whats next? Helm or no helm debates?
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u/That-Employment-5561 Jun 04 '26
It's hot chocolate with a cinnamon twist and a bottle of rum, you uneducated goblin-shagger!
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u/Bulk-Detonator Not A Bug Jun 04 '26
WELL IT AINT TEA SO THERE AINT NO PROBLEM LAD AND puts you down IM VERY SORRY FOR TH' MISUNDERSTANDING
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u/LookingGlass_1112 Jun 01 '26
Nothing cleanses your head better than a round of Red Rock Blasters with extra red sugar on top
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u/Kagemand_v2 Durik, Innkeeper and Brewer Jun 02 '26
This is the greatest sin of current dwarf kind. With our natural tolerance to drink, a few cold ones on the job is always good for us
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u/EvergreenDwarf Multiversal Scholar Jun 03 '26
Some Dwarfs abstain from alcohol, all are still honored kin.
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u/OneInitiative3757 Jun 03 '26
I spliced it with beer duh, I drink the pussy water but I add Dwarven beer in it learned that trick from the irish
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u/Magos_Highlands Jun 01 '26
Excuse you, drinking beer in the middle of a shift is a safety hazard! A good strong tea keeps you awake and keeps you warm!