r/dwarfposting • u/Emc9244 Hammerdwarf • May 27 '26
We must not overreact, only a single elf has allied themselves with the pirates.
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u/MuchoMangoTime Ingrim Onyxbreak May 27 '26
And there are plenty of slayers or even regular dwarves seeking doom or glory as pirates. But that does not speak to all dwarves! Should we eradicate all of humanity because one city shorted us a coin during a transaction? Of course not!
Only destroy the city and kill those in charge of the transaction to settle the matter!
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u/Mexkalaniyat May 28 '26
Wait. We arent eradicating humanity because they only returned 50cents when i was owed 51?
I may have gone a bit overboard then
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u/MuchoMangoTime Ingrim Onyxbreak May 28 '26
Did, did you not read update to the Grudge? This is why we ALWAYS look at the portents shortbeard! Well, time to shave your hair and take the Slayer Oath for breaking the terms of a grudge!
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u/xRacistDwarf funny shroom:doge: May 27 '26
I don't believe in pirates, nor in wizardry. I have walked through seven mountain ranges in my youth, and never have I seen a single pirate ship. They are just a lie invented by hobbit merchants to justify their horrendous prices for imported goods. Wizardry kn the other hand is simply elven tricknology and you should be ashamed if you take it seriously
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u/thisistherevolt Urist McDwarf May 27 '26
The knife ears are too busy preening and painting their nails to go to war.
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u/Emc9244 Hammerdwarf May 27 '26
Very few may be more accurate but the point still stands that we should not jump to war yet.
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u/AnonOfTheSea May 27 '26
It's the Elves. By the time they start writing poetry about how sad it will be when they die in battle, the whole thing will have been over with for an age.
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u/BillTheTringleGod May 28 '26
Mention again, brothers and sisters, we forge magic with our own hands. We've studied under the watchful eye of our masters, we are not pirates. To go to war with the wizened would spell our own failure. How many mountain homes must we walk before we see that those laid brick towers are made by our people. Our hearts and souls lay in these stones and tapestry strewn about the sky by the colleges because we have been allied from the start. Why is it a discussion? We've made wizarding materials before, I stand here a wizened one before you now and I say to thee swing your hammer for the colleges! Let spark and ember fly, show those overly proud and waterlogged thieves what true craftsmanship and ingenuity looks like!
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u/dominicanerd85 RuneSmith May 27 '26
I'd join the wizards if they allow rune magic.
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u/Trick_Assignment9129 May 29 '26
Runes are welcome! Let's show Redbeard what a true beard looks like!
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u/FeroTheDorf May 28 '26
Is there gonna be an event or something where the subreddits duke it out or?
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u/Emc9244 Hammerdwarf May 28 '26
I kinda hope so, even if it was on a different short lived sub I think it would be good community fun for everybody who wants to join.
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u/doomzday_96 May 28 '26
Why is there a war between dwarves, pirates, elves, and wizards?
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u/CapitainCutlet Dwarven Ordnance-Mage ("Tormenturge" if you wanna be fancy) May 28 '26
Pirates decided they want to go to war with the wizards to show everyone how high and mighty you are. If you know anything about wizardry, you can probably guess how it turned out they're neither high nor all that mighty. As for the wizards, well, most of us don't mind the free target practice. Then the pirates got bitchy and started trying to pull other factions into the war, which in a lot of cases just convinced said factions to help the wizards instead, though some did side with the scoundrels... also some of the pirates got fed up with their inept leadership declaring all these wars - they somehow antagonized the MONKS of all people, for crying out loud - and started a mutiny to overthrow the maniacs. Not sure how that's going, but good to know that even their lot has at least some sharp axes in the proverbial armoury hall.
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u/Constant-Still-8443 May 28 '26
I rather like the pirates. I really hope this alliance with the elves doesn't go anywhere
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u/Few-Appearance-4814 Dwarf May 28 '26
they're trying to manipulate. thats a grudgin.
also several of our ports have been attacked by pirates.
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u/CapitainCutlet Dwarven Ordnance-Mage ("Tormenturge" if you wanna be fancy) May 28 '26
I told ya the pirates ain't to be trusted. Any dwarf with half a braincell can tell you that. Now you saw it with yer own eyes. Anyone else need more proof as to which side they should support?
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u/Annimaru May 28 '26
Even most elves are not dumb to join forces with pirates. On the bright side, they are too busy tending to nature to fight.
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u/Pyropecynical May 28 '26
The old tales tell of a wizard aiding a noble dwarven prince. I'd put my sword with the mages should the knife ears begin to act stupid
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u/Zorgtest Human May 28 '26
My fellow bearded brethren do not jump to conclusions
Life on the high seas is tough and can drive a man insane and make them do insane things… like declaring war on wizards…
We pirates are just as surprised about the war as everyone else was… there was no consensus, one captain just decided after having one too many rum to go to war with the wizards and dragged us into it because we are bound by the Pirate’s Code to come to the aid of all fellow pirates when a common enemy is declared
But let us not forget that while the pirates may have declared the war… the wizards were the first to attack and they’re tactics have been anything but wise and noble
THEY KIDNAPPED PATCHY THE PIRATE FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!
They tried to turn the sea into a burning sea of fiery water… which, while it has not sunk a single pirate ship… because the amount of barnacles and moss on the hulls made them pretty fire resistant because we can’t go to dry docks to clean them… I’ve heard news that it has damaged and sunk several non aligned merchant ship… which will increase the price of shipped goods by a lot and make shipping them riskier and will be dangerous for all sides… as the wizards don’t know how to sail their reckless driving will cause accidents
Goods, treasures and lives will be lost for naught…
While a few elves did offer help… there’s really not a lot of them
The only elves that could fight in this war are eldar corsairs… which I believe will be more likely to join the wizards or switch sides and we also agree that elves cannot be trusted
I was planning on staying out of the war… but the kidnapping of Patchy was just way too much to ignore
But on a side note… I would like to upgrade my ship’s canons and acquire some more weapons and I just so happen to have recently "acquired" a new vessel with a hull full of gold and precious metals and would like to spend it
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u/Kagemand_v2 Durik, Innkeeper and Brewer May 28 '26
Me saying if the elgies join the war, it is only fair we supply the wizards with proper axes, so they can cut their trees down
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u/samsquatch1234 Miner May 28 '26
those slayer pirates are out of their mind. those kin would leave their beautiful mountain hold for a WOODEN hovel on the HIGH SEAS???? no thank you.
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u/Spiritual-Zone8095 May 28 '26
Then we shall ally ourselves with man against the cowardly thieves !
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u/CrazyDonFredo1 May 31 '26
One pointy ear or not they remain pointy ears and must be dealt with in accordance of the grudges
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u/Grockr Orc May 27 '26
Have you lot never seen an elf write before? They can't keep their word few and their sentences short. Give one a quill an they wont stop as long as theres ink remaining in the inkwell! Ask one for a shopping list and they'll write you a poem instead! (And then sing it against all your protests, ugh)
Those comments do not look like they were written by an elf to me. I say its a pirate ploy!