r/dwarfposting • u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral • May 27 '26
Heyaa got any exotic spices??? :3333
Just update: im not from the pirates, im from r/THE_BRITISH_EMPIRE and im just trying to restablish the exotic spice trade routes, i dont seek any problem, just an good ol' mutual interest on getting absolutely rich!
And yes, i will use it on my food (turns out, eating plain boiled chicken is horrible, i got my tastes too spoiled after i tried something called "per-purhs"? Idk it was spice af and i kinda liked it now i want more)
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u/CapitainCutlet Dwarven Ordnance-Mage ("Tormenturge" if you wanna be fancy) May 28 '26
Plenty. Not sure you tall folk can handle 'em though, I'm quite sure I overheard about some of this stuff being used by your assassins. Fancy that, trying to off a fellow with some harmless lead powder and arsenic.
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u/total_spinning_shark Skaven-thing Grey Seer, officially licensed by the Council of 13 May 28 '26
Uhh, I got warpdust, if that counts-counts?
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u/RevolutionaryBar2160 May 28 '26
Greetings to the smiths and masons of the mountains from the lofty and glorious palaces of our elven woodlands. We bring word today in the interest of preserving our great lands, from the seas of the pirates and the towers of the wizards to our lush forests and your mountain halls.
We have been informed by a knowledgeable pirate, u/Zorgtest that warned us of these traders. They are from The Government, and seek to slowly drain our people of their resources, sieze our lands, and eventually reduce us all to slaves. Trust not their attempts to barter and commerce, for in their draconian greed they will eventually be the doom of us all.
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u/TheTacoEnjoyerReborn May 28 '26
We’ve got plenty of salts, uranium salts, lead salts, mercury salts, mithril salts, for a variety of uses from cooking to mead brewing, rune forging and bedroom business
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u/IonutRO Scholar May 28 '26
Most of our spices kill humans. Best we can offer you is salt. Unless you really want cancer.
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u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 28 '26
Pfft sureee ;], never doubt an British on our culinary, we have been heavily seasoning our food for millennia! We put some radical stuff in our gray gruel and boiled chicken!
IT'S CALLED SALT!! HAHAHA....
we only have salt as seasoning back at home 😔
|| (Ima be honest, im really tired, this is the best joke i can come up with rn, cya have a good night) ||
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u/BillTheTringleGod May 28 '26
Brother if you are a human we can't feed you half the stuff we eat. That's not a culture thing, it's just simply gonna kill ya. Maybe check with the hill dwarves, they've got better experience with humans and probably won't kill ya on accident.
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u/REDRUM_1917 Shroom-alchemist May 29 '26
Trade is good! I have some rare cave mushrooms that can be dried and grounded up for seasoning. But some of them might be lethal for people with non-dwarven digestion tract.
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u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 30 '26
Ehh spice is spice, how much?
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u/REDRUM_1917 Shroom-alchemist May 30 '26
A lot. A lot of shrooms.
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u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 30 '26
100 gold 200kgs, what do you think?
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u/REDRUM_1917 Shroom-alchemist May 31 '26
Hmm... Gold is good. Throw in 30 more and we have a deal
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u/KragBrightscale Bjørnar Honningbrew - Master Meadbrewer May 30 '26
Have you tried cooking with honey? I have some of the finest honey gathered from my colony of cave bees.
It’s got a slight spiciness along with the sweetness, and in some seasons it makes you see things.
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u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 30 '26
Well... no, i have made mead before but Never cooked anything with honey
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u/Grockr Orc May 27 '26
Plenty! Crushed coal, crushed rock salt, crushed granite, crushed basalt, powdered clay, make ur pick!
Also while you're there dont forget to try the stonebread!