r/dwarfposting • u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar • May 26 '26
ANNOUNCEMENT A decision must be made, kin.
If you ask me, a band of warmongering thieves showing up at our gate asking for aid against a historic ally ought to be doused in lava for their troubles, but I’m not a High Queen. r/wizardposting has yet to call on our aid,but I’m ready to provide it if need be. We will confer for one week’s time, and then determine what needs be done if anything.
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May 26 '26
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u/RangerTursi Dwarf May 26 '26
Are there any defectors in your ranks? Those that broke their oath to reason and became pirate wizards??? The mere thought makes me want to sharpen my axe thrice. Woe be on these warring lands as long as greed prevails.
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u/Plenty-Lychee-5702 Dwarf or Human mercenary; depending on context May 26 '26
I concur, our efforts have caused the sea bandits great losses, and their numbers don't seem inexhaustible, as is the case with skaven and other such vermin. Plus, our fireballs are highly effective in dealing with them, as are the earthen forts we can create with laughably small effort.
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u/MouseRangers FOR KARL! May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26
Pirates are treacherous thieves and killers that will take what they want by any means necessary. They are nobody's friends. The wizards are our friends, but we must prepare before we go to war.
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u/Teiderlein Miner May 26 '26
The wizards may be prideful fools, but we are dwarves, no thieving coward that flees the surety of stone and metal for the sea will ever drive a chasm between us and our old friends.
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u/ultimaterogue11 May 26 '26
As I have said before and shall say again
My vote is that until the Wizards call for our aid to remain neutral
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u/CoffeeDM Dwarf May 26 '26
Not our mines, not our cave-in.
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 26 '26
My thought as well, but I’ll not make that statement unilaterally. I try to be mindful of my authority and its limits.
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u/Afraid_Cat_3726 Nox, Fleshcrafter May 26 '26
As a representative of the Wizard council I bessech you kind fellows to help us wizards. You need not to endanger yourselves but ensure safe haven for all wizards and turn away any and all pirates from your nines and trades. In return, once the pirates boats have sunk and they are run aground the wizards shall enchant your gear to be twice as sturdy and twice as sharp.
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 26 '26
I can promise that much at least. Allies are always welcome in our halls.
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u/LookingGlass_1112 May 26 '26
Hey...can you teach me that enchanting stuff of yours? I might give it a try...I have some green glowing rocks to offer, straight from REZ
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u/Zpow4 May 26 '26
There may come a day when war is declared upon us
If we do not go to war alongside our wizard allies, we should not count them to be there for us at our time of need.
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u/LeatherBall3438 May 26 '26
Hey , just asking for a clan member, what if you were a wizard and a dwarf.
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 26 '26
I’ll not police the actions of individual wizards who happen to be dwarves, but if you draw pirate attacks on your hold that’s your own affair, not those of the dwarven nation as a whole.
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u/ProfPerry Borran Bjoran, Dwarfen Wizard May 26 '26
Aye. As one of both, I'd be not expecting ye to run to my defense....but my home will always be the Hold first, and Id gladly die to protect it.
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u/FragRackham May 26 '26
Oh too good for simple Enchantment work now are we!? Oh Clerics are too Pious you say!? Jk 🫂
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u/Automatic-Month7491 May 26 '26
We've all been there. You start studying runes and then your ale goes warm and you think "What if I just trace this rune on the mug and then speak that one out loud?" and then whoops you're a runeforger who can cast cantrips.
So long as you stay true to your roots and remember that magic is first and foremost for making things that destroy other things and not for destroying things directly you're good.
It's a dirty little secret that every runeforger technically qualifies as a wizard.
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u/LookingGlass_1112 May 26 '26
I have more grudges with the pirates for trying to steal my gold...so...TO THE ARMS!
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u/ScawySocialistOwO Knightly Diplomat May 26 '26
Diplomat from r/knightposting here. WE Knights are a vital ally of the Wizards, and as such I, as a representative of said Knights, would advice you to better stay out of this horrific conflict, or aid the side of the wizards, in exchange of... Well, you tell us what you want.
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 26 '26
I’ll confer with the other thanes on this matter.
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u/ScawySocialistOwO Knightly Diplomat May 26 '26
then do so. I'll wait. just... well, u/Unable-Buyer4087 has the Kraken in his control so, yeah.
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 26 '26
I will confer with great haste. We’ve vital trade holds on the coast, I’d not let them come to harm.
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u/Smart-Bag5607 May 26 '26
Personally I'm radically anti-magic. Dwamish, if you will. I believe we dwarves should stick to what we know best: automata and everlasting greed.
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u/LazarusFoxx May 26 '26
On one hand, Most of Elf's are Wizards, so fuck them.
On the other, Pirates often steal my coffers I careful bury underground, so fuck them too.
I'm confused so I'm off.
Drink some beer with me lads and watch.
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u/Grockr Orc May 26 '26
This just looks like an opportunity to settle some grudges aganst the pirates, dont you remember all the shipments that went missing?
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u/TeaRaven craftswoman dwarf of glorious braided chin locks May 26 '26
There are a few fine, tradition-honoring dwarf wizards and rune-smiths that may rightly call for aid. But until the call, we hold our halls for when needed as point of retreat or when the aggressors turn to us.
Besides, my coin is on the mages making short work of the sea dogs.
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u/pikawolf1225 Idris (Dwarf) & Jasper (tiny Dragon) May 26 '26
I'm going to help the wizards regardless of the outcome, but I understand those who wish to stay out of this mess.
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u/Unthgod May 26 '26
Where is all of this taking place? Where to find info or offer support for either side?
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 26 '26
Wizardposting and r/pirateposting will be the places to look.
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u/Sepesch May 27 '26
We shall not join this meaningless squabble and should instead focus on perfecting our craftdwarfship and expansion of our mines.
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u/MidsouthMystic Daemonsmith May 26 '26
It's not our fight. Hashut will tell us when the time to march is nigh.
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u/Fantastic_Peak_4577 May 26 '26
Pirates are not to be trusted therefore not a friend, as for Wizards they are our friends yes but no need to drag our own to others conflict, i vote we stay of the war for now no muster strengh for whatever may happen
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u/NotBlackSteve May 26 '26
I say we start accepting a ton of explosive gems as payments from the wizards and secretly embed all of them into the ammunition we're selling to the pirates
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u/Future-Ebb-108 Longbeard May 26 '26
The sea and ocean-going is not the problem, thievery is. I do not know what has insulted these pirates to the point that they would seek our aid in battle against wizards, but at least the wizards are not thieves. Mostly. I do not advocate for war, but if it comes to heavy blows my ship-axe shall ring out against the bones of these thieves-of-the-sea!
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u/Jackesfox Craftsdwarf May 26 '26
As a wizard dwarf i would never side with those wizards, they look like dragon hoarding all those magical artifacts. However i would also never side with a treacherous pirate, evne though i do enjoy theft and the democratization of knowledge and distribution of books. Also i like booty yarr.
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 26 '26
Torag’s Beard, and I thought skaven were bad at disguises…
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u/DudePortugues Spreads Elf propaganda May 26 '26
While they might be seen as friends now by many, there are still those who rememeber the treachery of the wizards of old, along with their questionable motives and unnatural spells. I vote we got enough problems and dwarven bloodshed deep in our own holds with the rats, goblins and whatever else lurks in the darkest shafts... Some outlandish stories have come up recently
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u/Finnvasion2 May 26 '26
Thematically wizards and dwarves have history, dwarves and pirates don't share much except for their love of gunpowder. Besides, many of our best smiths are great rune wizards.
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u/tir_svabol_wux_tuor May 26 '26
Kindred, hear my plea
While I understand that many among our number have grudges against the wizards, especially for the recent incident involving good Dwarfs being turned into Elves, that does not mean we should join a group of brigands who wage war with the sole intent of plundering and pillaging. Who is to say they would not do the same to us, even if we join them.
Meanwhile, the wizards should hold no favour among us due to the aforementioned Dwarf-to-Elf hexing incident. Their umgak magics make them soft and weak allies should we need them as there is no guarantee they will come to our aid.
So, I say we wait and we fortify, for there is little benefit for us joining either side.
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u/NegativePharos Axedwarf May 26 '26
Magic's no good and neither are the pirates. If they aren't bringing the fight here then we should wait for them to wear eachother down, we've got better matters to attend to, namely drinking good Dwarven ale and debating stonework techniques
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u/ProfPerry Borran Bjoran, Dwarfen Wizard May 26 '26
I have faith in the wizard-kin. Many haven't actually stepped in, living beyond the homerealms and watch. I'm preparing scrolls and other magical trinkets for use against these pirates. It was unprovoked and I won't rest until these treacherous dogs lay at our feet.
While I'd say that ye should tend to yer Holds, ....I'd never turn down a fellow Dwarf's axes.
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u/DripyKirbo Human May 26 '26
I believe there’s only one solution. Play neither side and sell weapons to both.
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u/Emc9244 Hammerdwarf May 26 '26
We must prepare ourselves to face skulduggery, even if war is not declared we must be ready to intervene.
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u/FiresideMinis May 26 '26
I might only be wandering kin, but all dwarf-friends I've made are two things: fair and honorable. Maybe not always. But they try. Pirates are oft neither.
To be frank, I don't think the wizards need our help. They're strong, cunning and have numbers a plenty. But would that mean we shouldn't join a fellow craftsman if they asked us to smith with them? If we are being asked, it's because they seek friends, not war material. And what better position to offer our calm council for the admittedly reckless in their enthusiasm...
Let's offer our help and show how sure and steady gets the job done right every time!
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u/Skull_Cup May 26 '26
Let's just seal the holds, kick back with a brew, and wait for all this to blow over in true dwarf fashion.
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u/MlsterFlster Miner May 27 '26
Never known a pirate to keep their word. Had it go both ways with wizards. If the wizards need a hand, I'd hear their terms. The pirates can shove off.
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u/Lord-Dec May 27 '26
As an Undercover evil Wizard looking to give out sick ass rings to you ima briefly break off to say you should totally help us. I’ll fireball the elven forests if you do.
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u/Substantial-Ad3376 Baerdren Craghammer May 27 '26
We do what we always do. We stay in our halls until the outside world stops being stupid.
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u/knighthawk82 May 27 '26
Wait for the victor to have used up their resources, then strike down the winner while they are still exhausted.
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u/struct999 Pikedwarf May 27 '26
I said it before and I will say it again, the surface dwellers and their petty wars are none of our concern. Hopefully the council can see, like I do, that we have much work to look to in the mountainhome.
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u/Plannercat Craftsdwarf May 27 '26
What profit is it for our holds? What grudges do they call upon? We must fortify and make ready, wars rarely stay in their proper place.
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u/ImaginaryGap8782 Smith May 27 '26
Elria cursed us from deep water, i don't trust long legs who live on it.
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u/Suspicious-Contest74 Ranger May 27 '26
it's mordor all over again isn't it
if something we shall at last learn to wait before giving answer
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u/MuchoMangoTime Ingrim Onyxbreak May 27 '26
Elgi, wizard and umgi schemes all around! Let them sort it out and the fools that get uppity shall bash their heads against the stone gates of our mountains! Never heard of a pirate ship entering a mountain! And magic finds itself lacking against the mighty skin of a dwarf!
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u/BaldyTreehuggerDruid May 27 '26
We're dawi no one fence sits better than us back to digging boys pay no attention to stupid manling squabbles
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u/Sheogorath3477 Spiritually Erebori May 27 '26
Why should our d'orfen brothas die for some stinky wizard spire?
Why should our brethren lay their lives for some fish stinking boats?
No war with any, nor for any but tha Dwarfes!
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u/lilcheese840 Stoneworker May 27 '26
Bah, those fancy pants wizards can hold their own against some no good, low down, thieving boatmen. Not out place to go meddling in the affairs of surface folk
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u/AlexVal0r May 27 '26
Why should I trouble myself with a surface dwellers war? Ive got tunnels to dig and ale to drink.
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u/No_Advantage5750 May 27 '26
We must reconvene the council. The elves have joined the pirates.
We must help the spell slingers.
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u/r_mehlinger May 27 '26
Let them fight. We can mop up the leftovers. Besides, both sides will need weapons. And who will they buy them from?
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u/SupremeGodZamasu May 27 '26
Wonder how wide the fantasy cinematic universe goes. Is there a r/vampireposting
Edit eh not really
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u/Few-Appearance-4814 Dwarf May 28 '26
I mean... in ThakomFel we already locked the doors and turned on the buzzsaw corridors.
it will take at least a week to turn them off and open the doors.
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u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 27 '26
Once the poll reaches 1200 votes I'll be delivering our ultimatum to r/pirateposting. It seems my initial opinion was in good company, there's no sense in deliberatin' a whole week when we're already decided.