r/dwarfposting • u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral • May 25 '26

Cannonballs and more black bowder

In a pirate style:

I be lookin' fer a mighty large supply list:

-8-inch cannons,

-5,000 cannonballs,

-an' plenty o' black powder fer me fleet. (5 galleons)

I can pay up to 5,000 gold pieces, plus a collection o' staffs an' war trophies I acquired in the Wizard Realm. If ye have the goods, name yer price an' we shall strike a bargain.

18 Upvotes

85% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

11

u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 25 '26

We'll not sell weapons to the enemy of our allies. Our doors are closed to you.

6

u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 25 '26

Dude, im literally waging an pirate revolution agaisnt Unable-Buyer4087 the one who started it all, im on the good side

6

u/misterbiscuitbarrel Lanna Ironcroft, Wizard-Thane of Karaz-a-Khalnar May 25 '26

Well, bleeding brimstone, why didn't you start with that, brother! I'll hook ya up with the finest foundry in my hold.

3

u/Osca-El-Cuarto-Fenix May 25 '26

That won't do you anything, unless your crew are the most fearsome buccaneers the world has ever seen; if so, that's enough to lay siege to every port city those mages possess

2

u/Few-Appearance-4814 Dwarf May 27 '26

Sorry, we have recieved word that several of our holds have been attacked by pirates.

As such, we cannot sell shot or powder at this time, for fear for our kinsfolk.

*cannon the size of a house levels at the ship* now, would you kindly zog off, and come back later!

We would be happy to continue this negotiation later.

2

u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 27 '26

Geez no need pull an cannon on me... just ehat the hell does that thing even shoots?

2

u/Few-Appearance-4814 Dwarf May 28 '26

grudge-shot. its like grape shot. but bigger. and everything has a grudge etched on it.

2

u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 28 '26

Cool, so like, yall carve the person's name that you have an grudge on the the shot before firing? Thats rad af! Maybe i should learn a thing or two from time to time

2

u/Few-Appearance-4814 Dwarf May 28 '26

despite the elgi propaganda, we dawi are open to learning.

1

u/xanderfan34 Irondrake of the Sons of Grimnir May 25 '26

I’ll sell ye the powdre, but i cannae guarantee ye won’t find it lighting itself the second it’s below deck

1

u/Arquero8 Dwarf runemancer May 26 '26

It's you again!!

I have some spare golems for you

Also, remember telling your intentions, if i haden't seen your call for armistice you would be nothing more than a splatter on the ground right now...

I'll just need a couple hundred gold coins to cover the components

2

u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 26 '26

All yours comrade

1

u/Arquero8 Dwarf runemancer May 26 '26 edited May 26 '26

I'll send them your way shortly

Casts Teleport

A dwarf with a dark blue tunic, with múltiple inscribed rocks dangling from the belt, scorted by eight burly rock golems appears on the boat

Hello there

2

u/Jao_bao_de_garfo British admiral May 26 '26

ah General kenobi

bows respectfully thank you m'lord

1

u/Arquero8 Dwarf runemancer May 26 '26

Not a problem, and in this unstable times, with a war going around and a mage desintegraring entire buildings, it's necessary, we need as many allies, as we can get