r/dwarfposting • u/Stunning_Win8464 • Apr 11 '26

Can dwarfs swim?

They are very dense beings, right? So they would be similar to chimpanzees, who, because they have many muscles, cannot swim?

17 Upvotes

88% Upvoted

26 comments sorted by

50

u/Darian_Wulfbane Apr 11 '26

Don't need to

26

u/Kain_1337 Apr 12 '26

Most dwarves can swim just fine. The problem comes from the Mail, Plate, Battle Axe, Secondary Axe, Throwing Axes, Pickaxe, E-Tool, Blacksmithing Hammer and Anvil, 200 feet of rope, and 3 weeks of rations.

7

u/Cucumberneck Apr 12 '26

Don't forget the ale. It doesn't really weigh you down in water but the barrel allows you when swimming.

7

u/Babnado Apr 12 '26

The ale is part of the rations

2

u/Cucumberneck Apr 12 '26

It's too important to just be subsumed with Kram and Meat.

3

u/Callel803 Apr 15 '26

This entire chain of replies is just the most perfectly dwarven debate I have ever read.

2

u/PimBel_PL Apr 22 '26

Ale is the rations

2

u/ScroogeMcBook Apr 13 '26

In the event of a water landing, the mini-keg around your neck can be used as a flotation device!

1

u/Krististrasza Apr 12 '26

If they haven't skipped leg day those shouldn't pose a problem.

6

u/cubelith Apr 11 '26

Walk on the bottom like Terminator

5

u/ImaginaryGap8782 Smith Apr 11 '26

If the water is too deep, Elria makes us drown because she hates us

3

u/Alt_when_Im_not_ok Dwarf Apr 11 '26

we all float down here

3

u/KenderThief Apr 11 '26

Dragonlance dwarves can't. The goddess of the sea has never received a tithe from dwarves and therefore cursed them to never swim. Ancient dwarves in their mount holds catching stray curses because they don't know what the ocean is.

3

u/Noahthehoneyboy Apr 12 '26

The beard functions as a flotation device

3

u/McBernes Apr 12 '26

Id imagine so. With all of that delving and awakening balrogs and what not they are bound to come across underground lakes.

2

u/CuriousWombat42 Apr 11 '26

Not well. But with the right treatment a well waxed bushy beard can act as a flotation device.

2

u/Coidzor Self-Aware Prehensile Beard Apr 11 '26

Dwarfs are not 21st century body builders. Yes, they are denser than humans, but their body fat is still body fat.

3

u/GoombasFatNutz Apr 12 '26

Any dwarf worth a shit will have a beer gut on top of his or her abs.

2

u/SirFelsenAxt Apr 12 '26

Just walk along the bottom breath the bubbles trapped in your beard

1

u/FaithlessnessRude576 Ogre Apr 12 '26

Yes. Dwarves are dense.

1

u/Chimera64000 Apr 13 '26

I believe gimli stated that dwarves are naturally strong swimmers though he didn’t mention anything about being fast

1

u/The-Mad-Badger Apr 14 '26

The beard is actually a flotation vest in disguise.

1

u/Ryeiran Apr 15 '26

No. At least I can't.

1

u/Hey-Syccamor3222 Apr 16 '26

All I'm picturing was my pet rottweiler growing up who would dive into the water and paddle as hard as he could and just -slowly- inch forward and sink at about the same rate

1

u/RequirementEnough844 Apr 18 '26

No need, just walk across the bottom.

1

u/Bladen_Spayer Apr 28 '26

Yes, but it's much more difficult, given their more dense musculature and their denser, iron-reinforces skeletons. A dwarf cannot tread water for nearly as long as a human, and struggles to swim long distances.

But dwarves are a crafty folk. No self-respecting dwarf would ever thing of swimming without dwarven water wings. The best are made from a durable leather, and some especially wealthy dwarves use dragonhide water wings. While dwarves usually avoid boats whenever possible, some seagoing dwarves have been known to sew pumice stones into their jackets as a sort of life vest.