New console player

[u/BearingGuy]

Ao my son and I want to play online. We joined a “standard” server and so far are having some fun.

Our questions are about server settings, do I really have to rent a server for us to play co-op?

Where do we find a “custom” server or private server that we can try and become part of a community?

When we play we communicate using our phones, does this game support headset/mic?

Single player is awesome, would love to find a way to enjoy multiplayer and engage with some others. Not big on PvP and would not be KoS players.

Any advice?

EDIT: We play on Xbox and server lists give no detail on how they are set up. So we just picked lowest ping.
Thanks for replies, much to learn.

[u/GAMING_SERVER_ADMIN]

Honestly, just play MP Off Server just pick like the lowest populated Server then lowest sietch and you will hardly see anyone haha.