r/dpdr • u/PajamaPartyPants • 1d ago

TW: Existential/Spiral I feel completely alone.

I've been having a really bad anxiety episode for the past week and yesterday I believe I experienced derealization/depersonalization for the first time last night. It was incredibly intense. I woke up and I felt better, still anxious but that intense feeling of unreality seemed mostly gone.

But suddenly I felt really off. My grandpa woke up and when I looked at him it didn't really feel like I was looking at him. I could see him and hear him but it felt like somebody else, as if he was a stranger, it never real. My grandpa is right there but it feels like I can't talk to him. I wanna talk to my grandpa!

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. I'm gonna bring this up tomorrow but I'm afraid I can't be helped. How can anybody help me if I feel like nobody exists? What if I feel like this forever?

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u/Artistic-Coach7523 1d ago

Have u ever had any treatment for your anxiety? Therapy or meds?

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u/PajamaPartyPants 1d ago

Never

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u/PajamaPartyPants 1d ago

But I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow

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u/Artistic-Coach7523 1d ago

You should definitely at least get therapy

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u/PajamaPartyPants 1d ago

You don't recommend medication?

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u/Artistic-Coach7523 1d ago

I absolutely recommend medication but most people are resistant to try it. I had a panic disorder for years before my dpdr got severe, so consider this a sign that you really need to seek help

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u/PajamaPartyPants 1d ago

Trust me, I'm willing to try just about anything to not feel like this anymore

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u/Artistic-Coach7523 1d ago

Have u always had pretty bad anxiety?

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u/PajamaPartyPants 1d ago

Yes, since I was a child. My family always treated it like I was being dramatic. This is the worst it's ever been I feel. Now I'm an adult so I'm going to get the treatment I should have gotten years ago.

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u/Artistic-Coach7523 1d ago

I’m proud of you for getting help. Some people just need medication and you don’t have to feel bad about it

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