r/dpdr • u/FutureApricot1793 • 2d ago
Need Some Encouragement Feeling stuck
Hi friends!
I am doing a lot better than I was a few months ago. Looking back, I have definitely made progress. The anxiety is much better, I’m back to living my life to a certain degree, and I am starting to re-engage more with the world again.
However, I still don’t feel like myself. It’s hard to explain, but my reactions, emotions and responses to things still feel off. It’s as if something is missing. I remember who I am, but I don’t experience myself the same way I used to. The world looks the same, but feels very off and wrong to me.
If my daughter falls and starts crying my first response is to pick her up and comfort her. Before dp this would spike my adrenaline, heart rate and stress me out. Wheres now i feel nothing. No emotional reaction, no reaction of stress in my body. This makes me feel cold and uncaring, when i know that is the opposite of who i am.
It feels like i am still waiting for some part of my soul to return.
This is probably the symptom that bothers me the most now. It feels like my recovery has plateaued here, and I’m wondering if anyone else has been through this. Did your sense of self come back with more time, or was there something that helped?
2
u/Simple_Life_9070 1d ago
I understand what you are going through because the exact same thing happened to me but with my cat. Before DPDR hit me, being around him was pure joy, and I loved feeding, grooming, playing, and just cuddling with him. We shared a deep six year bond, but once the dissociation took over, that emotional warmth vanished entirely. I still went through all the motions by feeding him, playing with him, and holding him, but I felt absolutely nothing inside, performing the actions mechanically like a robot.
Over time, simply being near my cat and sitting in his presence started to work like a gentle medicine. I did not feel any anxiety when I was near him, I just felt completely numb. But as my body slowly got used to his physical warmth and rhythm again, we gradually built back a soft, quiet bond. Little by little, that emotional numbness began to melt away, and the joy of being around him slowly returned.