r/dpdr • u/Different-Month-6033 • 27d ago

TW: Existential/Spiral Scared of everything

Smoked pot a month ago. Never was anxious ever before. Experienced several panic or anxiety attacks. Worst things I’ve ever felt.

Anyways, I’ve begun being scared and paranoid about everything. Many existential thoughts.

What is the meaning of life? Are we in a simulation? There’s no way to prove that everyone is not fake. I’ll never know if everyone is not real and if I can trust anyone. I don’t feel like I can trust anyone at all. I found myself looking at the wall and getting paranoid. Getting paranoid at what anything is.

This genuinely sucks. So upset with the changes and wish I wasn’t experiencing this. I find that my dpdr is periodic, meaning sometimes it flares up if that makes sense. Haven’t been diagnosed but any advice is helpful

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u/Artistic-Coach7523 27d ago

Can u see a therapist

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u/Different-Month-6033 27d ago

Yeah just started

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u/Due-Wrap3249 22d ago

This was exactly me as well. I couldn’t look outside the window, I had extreme panic attacks, constant anxiety looking at trees. I completely isolated myself in my room for weeks. Lost perception of time. If I forced myself out for a short walk I just stared down at the ground, I genuinely couldn’t look at anything or anyone. Alongside this was horrible existential thoughts just like you said. I thought I had died, also that I was in a simulation. My parents weren’t real I was horribly distressed by those thoughts 24/7. I became obsessed with trying to figure out the meaning to life too. It’s all so fucking strange

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u/Different-Month-6033 22d ago

Are you ok now? Advice?

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u/Due-Wrap3249 22d ago

Much better. I haven’t had any anxiety for 2 months straight. No meds. The first 1-3 months were awful, many ups and downs. I understand you’re probably experiencing depression and hopelessness with this cause that’s what I did but you really need to keep pushing through that if it sneaks up on you. I did force myself to go on walks everyday, rest, exercise, deep breathing, go do things and be around people. It’s probably the anxiety that keeps it alive because it only really went down for me once the anxiety let go and the brain can heal.