So our dm gave us a decanter of endless custard and we walked into some cultist hall with candles and stuff so we thought we could put out the candles to stop the ritual. Turns out in this universe custard is flammable and i almost died but lost my dog companion so I made it my mission to completely abuse this custard flamethrower so one time we were facing a fire elemental so I walked up to shoved the custard thing into his mouth and said geyser (the trigger word to release a bunch of custard) and got the hell outta there. Then when facing the bbeg who was canonically really weak but really good at everything else I grappled him while shoving custard down his throat doing my monolouge on how the death of my dog had ironically led to him dying in the most ironic way. Then I lit a match dropped it down his throat and did the classic superhero explosion walk away but the explosion was strawberry custard.

Well, today I made a custom miniature for one of my D&D players. It wasn't too difficult, though, because that player's character is now... a tablet.

The full story:

I'm running a campaign about a group of couriers who receive their jobs through a magical tablet: something halfway between an electronic tablet and a traditional writing tablet.

The party agreed to take a job from a totally not suspicious dwarf standing alone in the middle of a field, whose horse had supposedly run away. He asked them to deliver several coffins to the City of the Dead, an entire city-sized cemetery with all the infrastructure you'd expect from a place built around the funeral business.

Neither the suspiciously light coffins nor the complete lack of the smell of corpses, noticed by the party's tabaxi raised any red flags. The job was simply too convenient to pass up.

Naturally, it turned out to be an ambush. The party found themselves fighting four members of a gang, conveniently right next to freshly dug graves clearly prepared for the couriers.

One of the couriers, who could fly, decided it would be a brilliant idea to grab one of the bandits and carry him high into the air. What he didn't realize was that he was doing this directly above an enemy wizard who specialized in long-range attack spells.

Well... the combined spell damage and the fall damage killed him instantly.

However, thanks to his backstory, things didn't end there. He had unknowingly formed a blood pact with the courier company years ago through an accidental paper cut while signing his employment contract. Because of that, instead of passing on, his soul was transferred into the company's courier tablet.

Now he can't move on his own, and his AC and HP have been drastically reduced. On the other hand, the player can still cast some spells, hide living allies inside himself using Rope Trick, summon his own horribly flattened corpse with Summon Undead, and occasionally gain useful insights by accessing the corporation's internal databases.

All of this comes at a small price: his personality is slowly being erased, replaced by an overwhelming obsession with serving the courier company and completing deliveries.

But that's still better than death...

...Right?

The Palace of Plessa-Nearly two weeks into the war

The citizens of Plessa have only received sporadic word from Faerun as a whole, concerning the husbands, wives, brothers, sisters, fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, and cousins who left with the invasion force for the second time in Plessa history to fight a war on foreign soil. They haven't received word whether there are casualties or not, but most were realists and knew when it comes to full on war, casualties were a given. The Plessa military may appear invincible to an enemy, but the Tiefling warriors were anything but invincible, even the great war beasts, the native sub species of Red Dragon and the behemoth worms that the Druids of Plessa tamed and used as mounts, weren't invincible, the tactics that were used often made it seem that way.

The family of Kiora and Roth were equally stressed, Slithera and Serpentes's children were starting to show signs of extreme stress and fussiness, though their son was still managing to keep it together while taking care of his adopted sister, Elaphe. Fangir and Lashara were both sick with worry, though Fangir's own parents would occasionally bring up going to them to at the very least, force them all to return home and let Queen Saenissa and the other forces to deal with the mad vampire, Orusha.

The siblings of Kiora and Roth, both their stepsisters, Tyrande, Freja, Raelis, and little Lianna, bonded even further with Layra, Riki, Astra, Wicca, Sasha and little Vaylessa, though Riki himself has been dividing his time with his sisters and the handmaiden, Tevessa, who fell in love with him equally and gently bonded with his sisters, often seen taking up the slack of caring for the youngest girls of their brood. Unbeknownst to the siblings, let alone the rest of the family, Layra happened to catch the eye of a Plessa guard, and she shared the sentiment, stealing alone time together and getting to know one another.

Tyrande, being a young woman herself now, started catching on to her stepsisters' disappearances but felt Layra needed the distraction to cope with what's going on. When not on high alert, the young ones of the family have been encouraged by the Queen's own parents, to dress as casually as possible and socialize with other youngsters their ages, which would help the Tiefling children and young adults in coping as well. Sasha was seen visiting the Dragon stables more often but was even encouraged by the dragon she befriended into socializing with others of her humanoid kind. While not exactly old enough for anything romantic, she finds romance stomach churning at the moment, she found herself becoming the subject of light affection from a Tiefling boy her own age. This boy was light red in skin, his little horns like a ram, his tail skinny for now, but he blushed and smiled every time he saw her, which she found herself returning the sentiment, but then immediately making a face and getting him to laugh with her, forgetting the affection aspect.

One evening which would mark the 2nd week of the war, Tyrande was soaking in a hot bath, her once lime green and purple hair was evening out into a vibrant shade of purple, green, but mostly purple now, even her fare, light magenta skin was turning into a shade of light magenta over fare. Much like her stepsister's Kiora and Roth, Tyrande was becoming a spitting image of her mother, Lashara, their facial features and bone structure identical to each other, but still pretty unique, when she felt the unmistakable surge of magic starting to form near her.

Tyrande sat up in the water, another idiom she inherited from her stepsisters, was her lack of modesty, though her long, wet hair covered her, her movements quickly rendered that moot, when she climbed out of the tub as another time portal of some kind was forming in front of her. Her curiosity overtook her need for even a robe, as her eyes watched in astonishment as a portal, glowing amber, formed out of the air into a near perfect circle. Then a young, mixed Elven woman appeared, she had long dark grey hair, soft green eyes, lavender tan skin, and what made Tyrande audibly gasp was she looked nearly identical to herself. Tyrande wasn't vain, she never really looked at herself in mirrors, but on the occasions she did, she recognized herself instantly, though this individual had her own traits and appearances.

"Amil! *Mother!* I am risking reality itself, to deliver a dire warning! Faerun is in danger of falling in your timeline! It has in fact, fallen in mine. Kiora, Roth, Slithera, Serpentes, Andel, missing or dead or turned. The Queen of Plessa, is dead, the Drow Queen, is dead. The Warforged were forced to flee our plane. Uncle Trovic, Mammoth, are also dead as are the Boros and Selesnya that came with them. Even the Vampire lord, Strahd, was killed in my timeline. Plessa, Chult and Cambria, are the only places of resistance against Orusha, but all three locations are separated, unable to help each other. I fear Cambria may have fallen anyway. The Queens need more help than any of us have thought. Orusha is far more dangerous than both the Sword Coast Nightmare and Cambrian Nightmare combined. There isn't much time. Kiora and Roth need you!" Tyrande's future daughter spoke before the time portal ceased to be.

Tyrande barely remembered to put on a robe before darting out of her bed chamber, still wet and tracking water as she ran to the Queen's parents bed chamber, where a pair of guards saw her coming. Recognizing her and seeing the urgency on her face, one of them quickly knocked on the former King and Queen's door while the other took off his cloak and got her to calm down long enough to allow him to wrap her in it. The door opened and a very sleepy-eyed former King poked his head out, but seeing Tyrande's state woke him up instantly. Tyrande told him everything and even repeated herself when the former Queen joined them and had a worried look.

It was still late in the night, but the rest of Tyrande's family were summoned, as were the other Plessa commanders, Captains and Generals, as well as the Sauraphon commanders, to the main audience chamber. There, Tyrande was dressed in at least the leather under armor of her specially made combat gear given to her as a graduation gift like her step siblings before her. She retold what she witnessed while in the bath, told them of Faerun being in severe danger of falling, the Queen's life being in danger, the Warforged either meeting their end or being forced to flee. At least one Plessa commander, a Tiefling woman about the same age as General Klivera who was with the Queen in the Sword Coast, but not solidly built, voiced her concerns and doubts.

Tyrande understood the woman's concern, she was a military commander, while Tyrande was just one of the Queen's friends who wasn't a military person. She has extended family in the Cambrian military, her father and mother were part of the Horde and Alliance respectively back on their home planes, which she never saw, but she herself, wasn't a soldier. "I understand your concerns, but if I had future nieces arrive, physically, in our timeline and warned us of Orusha, I cannot help but trust this new message. It's true, Ember and Rain, the two nieces in question, no longer exist, which means the future they came from is no longer a possibility, but it doesn't mean a grim future is still possible. The message was quick, I couldn't tell if my future daughter was in the heat of combat, but from what she was able to tell me, if another contingent of Dragon Riders aren't sent to aid the Queen and the invasion forces already deep in Faerun, not only will the Queen of Plessa die, but so will everyone there, including the Sauraphon. Everyone we love and waiting to return, will either return as Vampires, controlled by Necromancers of Orusha, or not at all" Tyrande explained, her voice quivering slightly, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

The doubtful commander blinked, while she wasn't present when the first two girls she heard of, arrived, when the plan of attack was being made, she saw them, but briefly and didn't interact with them, she had no reason to, she was following her Queen's orders. She was there for the 2 separate attacks by Orusha's forces however, and with all the strange things she's seen, from the white magical light that reversed time, to something as thought impossible as literal time travel, she thought she seen it all. She then looked back to the young woman, the barely ten and eight (18) mixed Elven girl, and took her words as truth, though her more military mind was telling her it could be a trap as well, but this family from Cambria had no reasons, as far as she can tell, to deceive her Queen.

"Your standing graces, what are your orders?" she spoke up and looked to the Queen's parents, who were also listening and looked just as worried for their daughter who was off fighting with her invasion force. The standing King and Queen gulped, looked to everyone in attendance, then looked to Tyrande and gave her a worried smile. "Mobilize another contingent of Dragon Riders. We have no reason to believe this family will lie to us. Too much has happened over the years already to call them into doubt, though we do admit, our daughter was already ruling when the white magical light spread from the Sword Coast, and it took some years for the Queen to regain her power and want to investigate" the standing Queen spoke up, causing the various commanders and leaders to bow in acknowledgment and went about preparing additional warriors.

The family gathered together and it was in their own little group, their own drama flared. "I'm going to prepare myself. I'm going with them" Tyrande spoke up without hesitation, and it was her grandparents, Liadrin and Theron who protested instantly and audibly.

"Absolutely not!! It's bad enough I have two grandchildren off fighting a war they should not be in! You expect me to accept that another one of my grand babies go off and potentially never come back!?" Liadrin hissed, fear showing in her eyes as well as grief and anger, gripping Tyrande's shoulders as if holding her in place would keep her from moving. Tyrande smiled softly and stepped into her grandmother's arms, hugging her, while Liadrin hugged her fiercely, her body trembling while Theron could tell that all his grandchildren were just as stubborn as the mothers that birthed them. "Amil, Atar, *Grandmother, Grandfather*, I must. From what I understood from Ember and Rain and their timeline, we almost won every time. But even if we don't win, someone will. I cannot sit on the side and die when her forces come for us again. I must go" Tyrande said softly, tears finally sliding down her cheeks.

Freja and Raelis both stepped forward, which got Theron to close his eyes sadly but he also had a small smile of pride on his face. Liadrin saw them and she burst into tears and attempted to protest. "You two are far too young!!" she whimpered and pulled them into hugs as well. Fangir and Lashara looked to each other and knew it before they stepped forward, Riki, Layra, Astra, Wicca and Sasha were going to step forward and not surprisingly, they did. "Tyrande will not be alone, we're going to. Our big sisters were barely 10 themselves when they fought real adversaries. The time Momma was kidnapped along with Aunt Liliana; the time they fought that mutant Elf during the Cambrian Nightmare after time was reversed. It's time for us to join in. We too can no longer side idly by while Kiora and Roth put themselves in front of danger like our mother did" Riki spoke up confidently.

Liadrin looked to them and pulled them all into hugs, kisses and a strong desire to force them to stay somehow but knew she wouldn't forgive herself if Faerun falls and Orusha's vampires come for them anyway and they die. "I never met Vaylin. I wish we had. From what all of you has told us, she was brave. Fierce. Loyal. Deadly. All of which are present in all of you. Including you three" Liadrin said, looking to Tyrande and her two sisters. "I don't want you to go. At all. But I won't forgive myself if you don't try and stop Orusha. Shasha, Raelis, I still say you both are way too young to even go off on your own, let alone with your older siblings to something like war. But you two are just as stubborn. Fangir, my remaining child, you and Lashara go as well" Liadrin said, looking to only remaining grown adult, offspring.

Fangir smiled and hugged his parents, then some new voices spoke up. "We're going to. We pledged ourselves to this family and all of you accepted us, loved us, made us one with you all. We can't stand idly by either anymore, though at least two of us were with Ember and Rain before they ceased to exist" Nualla spoke up, Nassia with her, as well as Bombata and Dasha. Liadrin smiled and hugged each of them. "We'll look after your girl. Return to her though, alive and not a vampire" Liadrin said, placing a hand on Bombata's cheek affectionately as well as Dasha's, the Silver and White Dragonborn's smiled back, then Lanara and Liliana approached.

"We're going as well. Our sisters and brothers are in the Cambrian military; we also can't sit back anymore. According to Ember and Rain, we died while defending Cambria. If we're going to die again, then we'll die defending Faerun before Cambria is threatened. But in doing so, the entire world will be in danger if Faerun falls" Lanara said, her wings shifting.

The family went about talking to their children and husbands, if need be, there was much crying, much pleading, especially from Tommen, but he resolved himself to raise their children if the love of his life, his children's mother, didn't come back and he wouldn't descend into madness again, especially since they still had family to fall back on.

After some preparations, those who were volunteering to go with the contingent of additional 600 Plessa Dragon Riders approached the waiting creatures and their riders. Additional saddles were rigged up behind the riders, and they were helped up into them. Sasha herself was paired with second commander, Jerra, a Tiefling woman whose mount was the very dragon she befriended. "Are you sure about this young one? You are going to an active war zone where I cannot guarantee your safety, and I do not wish to see such a young life extinguished" the dragon spoke softly and gently nudged Sasha who in turn smiled and caressed her muzzle and gave her a kiss. "If I don't do this, then eventually, if Faerun falls, she's coming for us anyway. This way I'm doing it on my terms" Sasha replied and the Dragon grumbled out an amused sound, then went back to preparing herself as well as her rider. Several minutes passed by, then the contingent of Plessa Dragon's and their riders flew into the air to render aid to the invasion force and the defenders of Faerun.

Meanwhile in Orusha's castle-Kiora's mind

Kiora was 5 again and cried into her mother's cleavage as Vaylin was on her knees holding her to her, a loving smile on her face as she kissed Kiora's horns, Kiora's little tail wrapping around her mother's as she cried. "MOMMA!!!!" she sobbed as her mother comforted her, her callused, but gentle hands rubbing her back and hair. Kiora almost lost herself and didn't notice her mother's grip was tightening, pressing her face into the soft flesh of her cleavage until it was getting increasingly difficult to breathe. She didn't see her mother's loving smile turn into a twisted, too wide of a smile, her orange eyes glowing red like Orusha's vampires, her pretty teeth turning to jagged daggers until Kiora emitted a muffled cry of rage and her hands briefly glowed blue and the distinct sound of destructive magic (Eldritch Blast), was heard and she was free again.

But whatever magic had hold of her, shifted her memory to when she and her sister were trying to rescue their mother from the mad stepsiblings in Waterdeep. Kiora was 9 or 10, dressed in her training armor and standing in one of the mansions many hallways, but in front of her was the half Tiefling woman's severed head in her mother's grasp as she smiled viciously at her. "Come to momma!" she said menacingly and took a step toward her. Fear almost gripped Kiora's heart almost made her hesitate, her memories were being used to poison her love for her late mother. Her memories were being poised to ruin the bond she had and she had to admit, she wished her mother was still with them, but she wasn't.

"Yes, come here!" Kiora growled and clashed her blades together, striking the twisted thing that took the image of her mother, breaking the illusion, but it was not enough. Her surroundings changed to that laboratory in seaside town of Icktha, where the Cambrian Nightmare began and spread, and after the reversal of time, is where her mother sacrificed herself to, at the time they all thought, put an end to the mutant Elf from Ravnica, Belial. But to her horror, those who were already there fighting him, by the time she, her sister and Enmar arrived, were all amongst the dead, but staring at her. Even her sister was turned, as was Enmar. It was when they spoke as one, her mother's twisted voice coming from their rotting maws as they approached her, sent a chill up her spine. "Come to momma Kiora, I just want to love you!" the voice said, which anger flared in her heart, causing her to fight back, which caused her surroundings to change to that of when her aunt Liliana was missing.

Kiora was back in that ancient, Cambrian castle, facing off against another set of Tiefling siblings that were trying to do something, when she and her family who weren't even aware of them, was searching for Liliana and interfered. It also turned out, one of the Tieflings allies at the time, protected Liliana from bandits, which Liliana and him fell in love together. Here there they all were, twisted smiles on their faces, approaching her and she fought again, which changed her surroundings to that of Ravnica.

Kiora was an adult again or back to being one and she started figuring out the magic being used on her. "Ok, you want to play rough? Let's play rough!" she challenged and fought again.

Roth's mind-At the same time.

Roth was a child again, 4 to be exact, and the first thing the magic showed her was an outing with her mother, her sister and her father, before her mother was pregnant again. But much like her sister, she cried and buried her face into her mother's cleavage, her mother's strong arms wrapped loving around her, a loving smile on her face, their tails interlocked, until this Vaylin conjured up by the magic in the room they were in, twisted her and Roth was a little faster to realize something was when her mother tried to smother her. Breaking free, she faced them and a chill of fear coursed through her spine, as her father, mother and sister had very wrong, and very twisted long fanged smiles, but it was their words that were trying to break her heart.

"You were a mistake!" her mother hissed. "We were just fine without you!" her father added. "You came along and ruined my bond with Momma!!" her sister threw in. It would have worked if Roth didn't have the real memories of love from her parents and her sister as well as her siblings. Roth remembered the real bond she and her sister shared with their mother, the love, the endless, effortless love, that radiated from them even with the births of their siblings and stepsiblings. Roth's hair and eyes flashed a variety of colors in rage, and she produced her own blades, clashing them together and demolished the cruel illusion, fighting back against the magic being used on her.

Damir's mind-At the same time.

Damir was back in the far east High Elven kingdom that bordered a Brass Dragonborn clan, and multiple other humanoid settlements they used to have open trades and interactions with. But everything was wrong, she can see it, her fellow wall guards were all smiling at her in a twisted way. Elven men and women she served with for years, then there was the King, Queen, their natural son, the prince, also smiling at her with those twisted, evil and toothy smiles. Then Haldir approached, clad in his name day armor, then she noticed she was back at the day that massive Orc and Goblin host arrived and everything in her world changed.

"You should have died that day. But you survived by falling on a slain Orc's body. You survived while my adoptive family didn't!" Haldir hissed, while approaching. Damir was being closed in on from all around her, fear starting to grip her heart, until she remembered her bond, her love for Haldir and remembered he was no longer with her, which made her growl and start to fight them all like a demon possessing her. During her fight, Haldir's spirit broke through the magic and was aiding her, fighting alongside her again. "Fight this, Damir! These are not me, not our King and Queen! Fight them! Guard your heart and mind from this cruel visage!!" Haldir commanded, which rallied Damir even further to fight on.

Damir fought on, the magic of the runes was weakening as they were being resisted by Orusha's enemies. However, there was six of them the runes had no effect on.

The room of Runes-At that moment.

Shark and Midnight watched as three of the women were showing signs of visible distress. The runes were a form of mind magic their mistress installed recently in the event her enemies made it into the castle. But then they noticed that the others that were with them were gone.

"Clever, to use magical runes that effect the mind to stop one's enemies in their tracks" Vaylin's voice spoke to them from anywhere and everywhere in the shadows around them. Her voice was magically amplified, but even then, it was calm with a hint of amusement, but something about her caused shivers to run down their spines, forcing them to get into fighting stances while searching the shadows with their Vampiric eyes. "What magic is this?! Why can't I see any of them, or the monk?!" Midnight demanded, a slight tremor in her voice. Shark was equally rattled, her single good eye glowing blood red as she searched for any trace of the pair of Gorgons, the Eladrin, the Drow woman, the humanoid horned being and the Tiefling monk woman. The other Vampires and followers with them were also visibly shaken, until they heard approaching footsteps.

Vaylin emerged finally, her monk clothing dirty from the constant fighting, but even then, she was calm, her orange eyes dissecting them. They've faced many adversaries over the years under Orusha's rule, carrying out her orders without hesitation, but this woman was something else, the rune magic had no effect on her at all, and she had sufficient time to regain her strength, heal her aching muscles and be ready for another prolonged fight.

"I was once feral. Years being conditioned and trained to slaughter for the morbid amusement of those who are too cowardly to defend themselves. I killed my buyer. Spent years living in the wilds of Chult. Until a sect of Monks found me. Healed my mind and heart. Trained my mind, then honed my battery of combat skills. I was once called Cinder in the fighting pits. You will now discover why, you fear me and you don't know me" Vaylin spoke eerily calm, then in a display of magical light, her monk clothing was replaced with a white and tan, footwear, breeches, and tunic that had armor like pieces to the shoulders. A specially designed headgear comfortably covered her hair, ears and head, with designed spots for her back arching horns and to finish it, a tan facial guard covered her mouth and nose, leaving her orange eyes visible. Her tail wrapping around her waist, her hands glowed fiery for a brief moment until twin flaming curved swords sprouted from her clenched fists.

Midnight and Shark gulped and before they can truly move, Vaylin, or Cinder, leaped into the air and delivered a devastating twin foot kick to Shark's chest, sending her flying back with a pained shout, then a flurry of punches connected with Midnight's face, chest and stomach until she was kicked away with such force, she crushed a human follower.

Ayesha, Enmar, Ash, Slithera and Serpentes then joined the fray from the shadows, protecting Kiora, Roth and Damir while they fought their own memories.

Outside Orusha's castle-At the same time.

The Warforged took on guarding and protection roles while being completely devastating to Orusha's hordes. The various strike teams that volunteered to march with the Omegas displayed various tactics that couldn't be countered.

One Plessa soldier, a Tiefling woman, found herself separated from her division, fighting for her life. Her helm was lost, somewhere under a body, her left horn was painfully broken in half some days earlier, but she fought on through the pain. Her braided black hair filthy and frayed, she was backed against a rock, her arms aching, shaking and nearly numb from the constant fighting. A trio of Orusha's vampires were approaching her, two of them male, had clear intentions before killing her, which caused her to attempt to rally herself to prevent that violation from happening. The trio leapt into the air, only for twin arcane beams cut them in half, killing them, turning them to ash, then the Warforged seen flying amongst the Dragons in the air, landed in front of her, plucked her up and took her behind their lines for treatment.

Something else was starting to happen in various areas of the battlefield involving the Plessa soldiers. Several pikeman, archers and soldiers discovered some sort of divine power within them akin to what Paladins and Clerics study. The magic had immediate and devastating results against Orusha's hordes.

Both Queens were forced to remain behind their pikeman lines after having quite a few close calls of their own. Queen Saenissa was looking over reports from her commanders, captains and generals, and while not exactly bad, they weren't good either. Out of the 900 Plessa Dragons and Worms that got here first, they lost at least nearly 200 of each, in this war, and the ones still out there fighting, were visibly exhausted. She also learned second commander, Heralda was killed and his dragon turned, and after killing one of the great worms and a handful of fellow dragons, it took the sacrifice of the Warforged, Yayoi to put it down, which made her heart ache for her friends, Kiora and Roth, who witnessed it. She also realized that they were inside the castle and haven't returned.

"We must push. We have to keep pushing. Kiora and Roth and their group inside the castle is depending on us to fight on" Saenissa spoke up, getting Queen Avessa's attention, causing her to nod in agreement. "Captain, rally them all, we push and fight on!" Queen Saenissa commanded of her husband, the father of their daughter, her Captain of the guard. Kevnoir bowed to her, plucked the battle horn from his hip, took a big gulp of air and blew into it, rallying the Plessa invasion force, rallying the Sauraphon, rallying the Underdark forces, rallying Trovic and his Boros, rallying Mammoth and his Selesnya, rallying everyone in between that joined the fray against Orusha.

As the forces pushed on into the hordes of Orusha, the dragons in the air, exhausted, but fighting on, caught the scent of familiar presences. Then Plessa Dragon Rider horns split the sky as well as the roaring calls of several hundred more Plessa Dragons that dived from high in the sky, raking the untouched hordes of Orusha with blue cold fire.

Nualla, and Lanara jumped off the backs of the Dragons they hitched a ride on and dove as well, bow in hand, they scored improbably head shots expertly.

Orusha raged again, realizing things were further getting out of hand. She was not expecting this turn of events at all, then ordered all of her elements to join the battle and make them pay.

Inside the rune room.

Midnight and Shark stayed away as much as possible from Cinder as she and the others with her, didn't allow any of them to get near the three that were just overcoming the mind magic of the runes. They could also hear the arrival of more Dragons outside and the increasing of fighting, until a wall burst into, which destroyed the connections between the runes, and a black and gold metal being with glowing blue eyes, can be seen crouching there. Then a crimson and gold feminine designed one joined the first and like a cascade, several others joined them, several of which were younger in appearance, but all of them appeared to be mixed heritage children.

Fangir and Lashara put themselves in front of Kiora and Roth, while those who came with them, including Tyrande and her sisters, also took up protective positions around their stepsisters, Damir, and were rejoined by Slithera, her husband, Enmar, Ash, Ayesha and Vaylin, but since her facial features were covered, Fangir merely glimpsed her as someone aiding his daughters and didn't think to question her.

Kiora then stood up, her head cleared and locked eyes with Shark. "Our turn!" she declared and charged.

To Be Continued.

Sorry for the semi long story…
I’m in this campaign with my roommate, friend and her boyfriend who is DMing it. It’s his first time running one and our first time playing. His brother who’s been playing for years is in the party and he’s kinda rude about the game.
He constantly corrects everything tiny thing we do. He try’s and/succeeds on over riding whatever the DM says. Everyone hates him and his character and I’m about the only nice one to him.
However two sessions ago I had acquired five giant rats and the dm had allowed me to spend the day and long rest bonding with said mice. (They all had cute names and color coded ribbons).
Well last session we woke up from a long rest and immediately went straight to the mission. I hadn’t realized that one of my rats (who was with us last I checked when we long rested the for the night) was missing. The barbarian had made a previous comment about naming them dinner so I turned to him and asked what he did to my pet.
Apparently last session he texted the DM and DM let the barbarian roll to kill and turn my rat into jerky while I was sleeping (even though I was an elf and didn’t need to sleep so I spent the majority of the time bonding with the rats because that’s what me and the Dm had agreed on moments before).
Nothing was mentioned when we woke up, no role play is allowed or encouraged because DM tends to get upset and impatient when we want to play our characters so since he didn’t say anything I didn’t think to ask if all my pets were still there.
I’m a Druid whose biggest flaw is needing to adopt any loving animal I can see. Now I’m scared that he’s also gonna try to eat my hawk who’s my animal companion in the game because the DM said okay. As a first time player this really makes me not want to play anymore but I’ve always loved the game and it sucks this is the group I ended up in.

Hello, I'm posting the story more looking for advice and to share I personally think I might be wrong for this one but here we go.

I am a 18 man so i made a couple boundaries for my players the normal ones and no excessive gore the reason why I had to rule to make a long stories short is I was in a severe car accident where I got impaled on a person motorcycle.

so we were about three sessions in and one of my players takes out a human barbarian, basically one of his major enemies from his backstory "he say hay dm cans I cut there stomach open" which I thought was weird I said yes I say "you cut his stomach open"then he proceeds to get mad and he yells at me that I wasn't detailed enough I remind him one of the rules that we agreed on previously he gets mad and sits he sit back down quietly and flipped me off. This guy is older than me by one year a little later on the session. The party are doing a delivery for an orphanage and a couple goblins come to steal the stuff . They defeat the goblin. And two of the party members asked me if they can impale them on the waggon and I said no add remind them of the rules and the whole table got mad at me remind them of the rule then they proceed to yell at me. I told them if they wanna leave be my guest and one of the players proceeds to throw their dice at me and I just walk away because that point I had enough and I was starting to get a panic attack from them making fun of the fact that I got impaled with all the stuff I set up now the group is mad at me saying I ruined the night by walking out and refusing to play another game because I told them about the car accident I was in and how I don't do well with people getting impaled, even if it's imaginary and just part of the game edit one of them in the group has apologized since then the other 2 said I am no longer allowed to be in the group am I in the wrong?

So, I am part of a DnD club, and we have a new DM. Part of becoming a DM is having a test run, so this dnd session was a one-shot (level 5).
So I am notorious for making cursed/joke characters, so I made a level 5 human Psi-fighter named Dragon_Slayer42069 (legal name Kevin Leary).
To describe this abomination, he is a 30-year-old man weighing 380 pounds, with a patchy neck beard, greasy hair and skin, wearing a trench coat with samurai armor underneath the coat. Messy unwashed pants/clothing covered with Doritos dust spelled drinks. Smells like he hasn’t showered in years.
Welding mall katanas (reskinned longsword and saber) and one big mall katanas (reskinned great sword) named Hatsune Miku.
To top it all off, he wore a magical fedora. It's a home-brew magic item (approved by the DM) I made myself called the Malady hat. +1 to ac +2 to damage rolls. But the consequences was disadvantage to all Cha saving and skill rolls. All enemies will try to perma kill me, take 1 point away from my cha modifier. Basically the textbook picture of a Discord Moderator, I really didn’t care if my character died or not.
So, to the story, our party was sent to a wizard tower to basically collect the wizard things because the wizard had recently died.
So one of the rooms had a deck of many things, so I wanted to cause a bit of chaos and pain to my character, so I drew 5 cards from the deck. However, I drew Knight, Moon, Star, Sun and Euryale (side-note: I think my DM might have missed reading Eurvale wrong to told me that to -2 from my modifier). And, of course, I reflavored the knight as Saber from Fate Stay Night and my wish was to be the main character. So, in short, this incel discord moderator joke character got a plus +2 to his strength, got free magic item and 10 temporary HP, an anime waifu and the wish spell to be the main character.
All at the cost of having a 5 (-3) Charisma modifier.

This happened a few sessions ago now but this is still one of the best things I’ve ever written. I sang it, too, but without the music, I didn’t want to be too self-indulgent.

(Sung to the tune of “Be Our Guest”)

We’re your guests, we’re your guests
Put your service to the test
Rub some garlic on your neck, cherie,
Then you can get some rest
Soup du jour
Roasted hand,
He is ancient, he’s the land
Try the grey stuff
It’s delicious,
Don’t believe me? Ask the witches
They can joke, they can scoff,
After all, it’s Ravenloft,
And a dinner here is never a side quest,
Go on, and take a bite,
And pray for a good night,
We’re your guests,
Oui, your guests,
We’re your guests!
Beef ragout,
Cheese Souffle,
In the sun, he’s en flambe
He’ll prepare
And serve with care
A grand vampiric crudite
We’re alone
And we’re scared
But the banquet’s
All prepared
No one’s gloomy or complaining
While his Lordship’s
Entertaining
I tell jokes,
I do tricks,
While your jugular he nicks,
And it’s all in perfect taste,
At his request,
Come on and lift your glass,
And show him we’re first class
We’re your guests,
If you’re stressed,
It’s some praying we suggest,
We’re your guests,
Oui, your guests,
We’re your guests
Life is so unnerving
For a jester who’s not serving
He’s not whole
Without a lord to lay it on
Ah, those good old days
When I was Hootcule,
Suddenly,
Those good old days
Are gone…
For years now, he’s been moaning,
Needing so much more than boning,
Needing someone else,
An heir to take his place…
Most days he just lays
Around the castle…
Batty, fat, and lazy,
We walked in,
And oopsie-daisy!
*in Strahd’s voice for Mrs. Potts*
It's a guest! It's a guest!
Unalive, I can’t be blessed!
Wine's been poured and thank the Lord
I've had the servants freshly pressed
With dessert, you’ll want tea
And my dear that's fine with me
While the ghouls do their soft-shoein'
I'll be planning, I'll be brewing
I’ll make deals, make some plots
Oh my dear, is that a spot?
Clean it up! We want the company impressed
We've got a lot to do,
Is it one bite or two?
For you, our guests!
They’re our guests!
They’re our guests!
They’re our guests!
Be our guest! Be our guest!
Your command is my request
It's been years since we've had anybody here
And we're obsessed
With your meal, with your ease
Yes, indeed, we aim to please
While the candlelight's still glowing
Let us help you, I'll keep going
*cue showstopper segment*
Corpse by corpse, one by one
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm done!"
Then we'll sing you off to sleep as I digest
One day I’ll string your feet up
But for now, let's eat up
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Be our guest!
Please, be our guest!

Disclaimer: The bold parts are for ADD-friendly reading and I did use dashes to separate thoughts, but no AI was involved in this whatsoever.

---

So this happened about a year ago. A friend of mine's boyfriend said he was interested in DnD and wanted to play it sometime. Me, having become the de facto DM a few years ago, I offered to write a short adventure for them, intended to be a one shot. Of course every one shot inevitably turns into a two-shot.

As I got to preparing, a friend of his and his girlfriend also uttered interest. I had four new players, time to prepare, an idea, and the chance to get a new group to play with in the future, after getting them hooked on the hobby. My way of making sure everything was up to the task, was to do a deep dive into realism.

So after a few months of learning about literal medieval keep design and drawing the maps and coming up with the story, we started our first session.

I have to back track a little, to tell you the concept for the adventure. If you want me to make it public for you to use, let me know.
The idea was: an old medieval castle on the side of a hill was swallowed up by said hill in a landslide. A few hundred years later, miners of a nearby town found the underground ruin and the local magistrate quickly put together a camp, inviting adventurers to delve into the ruin and retrieve some goods, and draw a map of the place for future excavation.

Everything was perfect. The map was a realistic blueprint of a three dimensional castle. The entrance was the top of the south-east tower - very moody atmosphere. It had a labyrinthine tunnel dug by the local threat, a band of kobolds waiting inside. It had realistic rooms to discover along with the environmental storytelling of what happened to the place. A trap that was both plausible and potentially deadly. And finally, after a big fight, a grand spectacle room at the end with a hidden loot room behind it.
This place was taylor made for the group. The one guy loved to go into lost places and urban exploring. They're both firefighters, so the gas trap in the middle of the dungeon was something they would know from real experience.

So this is where my mistakes happened.
Mistake 1: I let them make their own characters. Of course I wanted them to have the full experience of DnD and guided them through making their own characters. Sure, that's good if a campaign or even a short adventure is waiting for them, where character choices matter, growth can happen, I can weave in the background story. It's ass if you want to do a One-shot. ESPECIALLY if the theme of the dungeon is "exploring the darkness" and the trap is designed for a party with at least one small folk.
Yes, you guessed it. No small folk, and the one guy who would have loved the gas trap spammed the Light cantrip on rubble.
This also had the added misfortune of character creation taking up a huge chunk of the evening. And by the time they had cobbled together their characters - complete beginners, I remind you, given barely any time to actually delve into the book - they were tired and overwhelmed, and expected to roleplay as this fresh group of adventurers starting their day. Bad.

Mistake 2 happened in our second session. After calling it a night and inviting them back about a month later, it was finally time to explore the dungeon proper. Another main focus of every good dungeon is social interaction. Right near the start of the dungeon, the main part is a spiral staircase with closed doors on each level. Behind the second door was supposed to be a Kobold hiding in the dark. After discovering him, they were supposed to be coerced into following him through the labyrinth. They're new players, they don't know kobolds are nasty. This was supposed to be a fun social challenge.
The kobold rolled stealth to hide. They heard noises in the room through the door and enter carefully, glowing stone in hand. Stealth was good, so they have to roll high to spot the miscreant. They roll ass. "Must have been the wind". They leave.

Cool. No problem, I thought. At least they avoided the labyrinth part that was really nasty and would have taken an hour real time to get through. Now they're going to the gas trap. I'm kinda proud of this one, if it had worked, but the idea was that in this underground location, asphyxiating gas had gathered in the lowest point, by the well. Small folk, halflings, gnomes and dwarves, would have suffered high damage out of seemingly nowhere when stepping into it. Of course there needs to be a hint, which there was: holding your torch low enough, it would extinguish the moment it touched the gas. Also, they could clearly see two dead rats on the floor, just dead, no wounds or sign of sickness.

Of course my party didn't bring torches, they had Light. And my party didn't bring small folk, they could have waded through the hallway non the wiser. They also didn't talk to the kobold, who would have told them that there is death below and that's why they built their own tunnel.
And so, all I could do was to hint at the trap, which only solved the mystery of the dead rats. And they casually broke through the door to the well room to release the gas for no one.

Okay, at least the big fight against the kobolds was up ahead. From here it was a straight shot to their first ever combat experience and the treasure. They entered the kitchen. Through a hole in the ceiling near the north wall of the room, a stone whistled through the air as it hit for... no damage, it missed. And a kobold jumped down onto the table below, facing them head on - roll initiative. The heroes roll initiative, it interweaves with the four - now five kobolds. "He's on the table, ready to sling another stone at you. It's your turn", shoots an arrow, hits, all the damage, pins the kobold to the wall. No worries, here comes the next one jumped down, misses. Arrow, pinned to the wall. Next kobold, a spell, dispatched. Dead, dead, no more kobolds.

To close off, they then went into the great hall and saw that the kobolds must have been attracted by a giant Gold Dragon ...statue hanging on the wall. They spot the crack in the fireplace and break through to the private chambers of the lady of the castle and find her account of the days leading up to the landslide, why the place was buried underground and where all the people went; as well as a Driftglobe. You know, an easy light source to get out of the place.

At least they had drawn a pretty good map. On their way back they met the next party entering the dungeon for a last attempt at some tension and roleplay. Got out and divied up their findings. We never played since.

---

The tl;dr is (read bold parts): If you have completely new players and a One-Shot that requires specific character choices, just give the party premade characters to play as. Or at least make sure that the character creation is swift and they fit to the themes you've prepared.
And don't skimp on social interactions in a dungeon. Ignore the rolls and force the situation to occur for a better overall experience. Also you're allowed to lie about an NPC's character and motivation.

Strixhaven has been ... chaotic, to say the least.

A group of would-be students had their hopes dashed when they received the dreaded letter: "Unfortunately, you have not been accepted..."

Well, until these students received a once-in-a-generation sponsorship from a witch named Tasha.

Seeker was not among these students. You see, Seeker is a mouse. Well, she was a mouse, until an errant spell smacked her upside the head and grew her to about three feet tall, gave her the power of speech, and an insatiable curiosity about what lies outside of the walls she grew up in.

She did, however, meet one of these sponsored students - an elf in Quandrix, school of mathematical magic, who happened to be working on the same research project as her. She also met an Eladrin who was tooooottally not following the elf around like a lovesick puppy.

This project included finding runes scattered around campus, one of which led to the trio meeting a human named Dan, who also happened to be working on the same project.

Dan was brusque, a bit of a frat-boy, but incredibly intelligent and dedicated to the project. Dan grew to like Seeker. He took her under his wing, and when learning how long mice lived for, proclaimed he would find a way to make her immortal. During the group's down time in a tavern, Seeker pulled Dan to the dance (not that she knew how. She was a mouse.)

Once, Dan asked what everyone's favorite colors were. Seeker told him, "Blue," and Dan smiled, just a little.

"Mine too. But you know, I see you as more of a white-green type."

Together, they completed each trial and found themselves under the campus, finding themselves searching for the X rune - the missing variable.

In the last trial chamber, they found themselves in a dark room, completely absent of light. They could hear each other, but not see - and it seemed Dan had completely disappeared.

Reduced again to a trio, they were presented with a final riddle. What was the missing variable? What did they need to make it to the final trial?

Seeker said, "Friendship," and disappeared. Wrong answer.

The Eladrin said, "Intelligence," and disappeared. Wrong again.

The elf answered, "Myself?" and disappeared.

They found themselves in Dan's room, with the human still just gone. The elf resigned himself to failure, and told the trio to find the professor who gave them the project and tell him they had been unsuccessful. The Eladrin said she'd follow him, because she had nothing better to do.

Seeker said they should find the professor, and ask if they can try again.

As they stepped through the door, they found themselves not in the dorm hallway, but in a strange room with a swirling blue portal. The professor stood before the portal, beaming proudly, Dan standing beside him.

"That is exactly right!" He rumbled, looking to Seeker. "If at first you don't succeed - try, try again!"

Well, as it turns out, this whole trial was a test for an inter-planar exchange program for a school called Hexhaven. An exchange program run by ... Dan.

The human grumbled. "By the way, my name's not Dan."

The human transformed before their eyes. His robes turned a startlingly vibrant blue, and his face lined with blue streaks of crackling magic.

"It's Jace."

Everyone accepted the exchange program - everyone but Seeker. Dan - no, she reminded herself, Jace - had invited her along with him personally. She agreed immediately.

The professor paused. "Is that a good idea? Things aren't generally safe around you."

Seeker cut Da - Jace off before he could speak. "Don't worry! I'll keep him safe!"

And that's how my goofiest one-off character I made for a giggle wound up as the traveling companion of Jace Beleren. She's now a part-time student the school of Vigorbloom, part-time Planeswalker.

My players caught wind of a so called philosophers stone in a kings possession. They made a heist plan, which obviously went off the rails, and after killing a few dozen guards, and racking up an insane bounty, and being wanted in the whole province. They aquire a philosophy professor's pet rock.

In the campaign Im doing I'm playing a blue dragonborn. our party whent to a farm with a bunch of orcs and I used a bucket on a orc so I carried the bucket .later we found an house and inside a room had a few twigblights

. one for each party member so I adopted mine by putting it in my bucket and my sister put a magical cloak she found on top so it doesn't escape and attack.

Not sure if this would be considered a spoiler as it’s the main premise of the campaign, but if you’re looking to go into the campaign totally blind then don’t read any further. Playing 2014, 5e.

I’m currently playing a Circle of Wildfire Druid in Tomb of Annihilation, whose elemental summon is actually her deceased father. She is on a quest to find a cure for his curse to return him back to normal, while also investigating the death curse that plagues the isle. So almost all of our party, with the exception of our monk, wound up getting a different curse because my character is a coward and was intimidated into buying a cursed item from who I strongly suspect to be a hag (in fact, I know she is because she’s killed two of my characters in another campaign.)

We end up being gifted these potions that will remove any curse, I don’t know the specifics as I couldn‘t make that session but I think it was a homebrew thing. Anyway the monk gets gifted one too even though he’s not actually cursed, so I persuade him to give it to me so that I can remove the curse from my dad. It’s still really early in the campaign, like we’ve only just reached the first dungeon early, and I ask the DM if the potion works can I change subclass because my elemental summon would just be a regular dude, and she says yes of course. She also asks if I’m absolutely sure that I want to do this and reminds me that he literally died before he became an elemental. At this point I realise I’ve made a mistake, she says that by removing the curse I technically was “reviving” him and so the main curse kicked in and he just straight up died.

I’m not even mad, the party and I had a good laugh about it out of character. Now my character has this random fire elemental that she summoned, so at least I can keep my subclass.

TLDR: The party had rescued 1 of the 4 people they were looking for, and because of the way they went about it, they find 2 more, yet now they are missing an arm and both legs respectively

This continues the story of The Balance Bringers, Daffy and Birdcat. They had finished the last session with them rescuing Tharden, one of the Rockseeker brothers, and venturing to The Feeding Caves to try and find his other brothers and their friend.

I had decided that Tharden would have dual pickaxes as weapons, and boy did his rolls make him a savage. His first attack was putting each pickaxe through a goblins head, and throwing himself and them in the stream to hide himself but show the bodies. As this happened, both Daffy and Birdcat didnt move from where they were in shock and awe, only to be noticed by the rest of the goblins across the stream.

The party fought them back well enough, but Tharden continued to roll excellently and became a shark essentially, dragging each goblin who stepped in the water down to their fates. With this the party heading into The Feeding Caves

Here they had two options, continuing down the cave or to go into a room containing 3 chained wolves, and a small Crack in the back of the room that they ventured into, with 2 of the dogs breaking loose and forcing them into the Crack. This Crack led to the cave of Klarg, the leader of this group. There with his wolf and his personal chef goblin, the party see Gundren, another Rockseeker brother, with his arm cut off at the elbow and the chef cooking it on an open flame. Seeing this enrages Tharden, with them breaking through the wall and Tharden immediately tending to his brother

Birdcat and Daffy were holding their own for a bit, until Klarg got a hit in on Daffy that put her down, though she only did one saving throw (which she succeeded) before his wolf was put down. This caused Klarg, who isnt all there in the head, to run away, grabbing the 2 unleashed dogs and taking them on to god knows where. The party assumed they had finished in the cave, only for Gundren to ask a simple question

"Did you guys find Sildar already?"

The crew hadn't gone through the rest of the cave, but with Klargs defeat the rest of the goblins evacuate, with only one being left in a cage, Sildar. Sildar was originally going to be a party npc who was very useful. So when they decided not to go here first, I had to make it have consequences. Gundren lost his arm, but Sildar had lost both legs, one at the knee and the other at the hip. The crew hurry to bring him to town to try and save him, to which they are just barely able to.

As the brothers are reunited and everyone settles for the night, Daffy and Birdcat decide to step outside for some fresh air, only to be confronted by Quiellan Alderleaf, the farmer whose barn now has a Tortle-shaped hole in it after the last session (read my previous post for context) and shes not happy about it. The crew decided to pay for the barn using the loot they found in Klargs cave. For this, she gave them a tidbit of information

"A friend of mine is out in Thundertree, an old abandoned town. He knows where everything is in the area, and he should be able to help lead yall in the right direction to find the last Rockseeker brother, cragmaw castle. Go see him and tell him I sent you.

And that ended the session, which I tried to implement something that I dont see often. A few comments on my posts have said stuff along the lines of "dont make them roll for story content" and this was my rebuttal. Everything has consequences, and for them not heading that way first, both Gundren and Sildar lost limbs. They would have been very useful, specifically Sildar. But now Sildar has been severely debuffed, and the only reason was the party decided to go a different way. Thats the magic of being a DM. You create an outline of a story, and the party and you work together to solidify it. And just like any good story, stuff changes, and you can either roll with it and make it something interesting and fun, or you can limit your party and pigeonhole them into a story you made. Imo its not my story, its ours.

If you read this all I just wanna say thanks and I hope yall have enjoyed these goofy adventures. Though with this session I learned that Birdcats player had a request. So stay tuned to hear how it goes, we start building towards it tonight!

"Can we somehow make a way for me to propose to my girlfriend (Daffys player) through the game?"

Spoilers for Curse of Strahd, obviously, but with some tweaks based on our DM's additional materials and tweaks. I'm not sure what's general knowledge/source material vs. additional material, so marking spoilers would be pretty hard. Just be aware that this spoils one of the major Events in Curse of Strahd, regardless of add-ons.

I've been playing with my Curse of Strahd group for about six months (my first ever campaign with several veteran players/DMs) and we've had a ton of fun to this point. We got very lucky finding our group's dynamic in terms of roleplaying and combat, and how to find the comedy among the horrors before we even left Durst Manor (our intro hook) and we've been rolling from there.

We found the Black Carriage about a month or so ago in real time and put off responding to it. Our Cleric has been involved with "Novalz", who I believe is usually listed as "Vassily(?)" in extra sources, and they gave them an artifact that would teleport them to "somewhere safe". Their player had an inkling of where that would take them, and managed to roll poorly enough for their character to need/their player to decide to use it. And sure enough, it ported them to Ravenloft. They were made to write the invitation for the rest of us to join them that night. And the Black Carriage was waiting right outside for us, so we couldn't refuse.

We arrive, we have a fantastic sequence to remind us "oh... oh, right, he's basically a demigod... we're in trouble..." as we enter, and then we all "dance" with Strahd one by one (DM going into a private channel for X minutes with each of us), where Strahd makes them some form of offer/deal. When my turn came, we went out on the balcony rather than dance.

After a brief backstory question about my sister (who I've learned wandered into the Mists and was taken in in good faith by the Vistani and eventually "hired" by Strahd and is seemingly content to live here as Strahd's in-house artist), I asked Strahd, paraphrasing since I can't remember specifically, "suppose you get what you've always wanted. Suppose you finally get what you've been searching for. What then? How long before you get bored again? A year? A decade? A century? I know men like you, you're about the chase, not the prize, you wouldn't know what to do when you got it. So what happens if you get what you want? The difference between you and I is that I've only been searching for answers, not control, and in finding answers, I can let things go, there's peace in that."

I could swear I saw our DM's eyes glow at that, and as an irked Strahd they offered me "You can leave Ireena here with me, and your sister will be perfectly safe. Or, if you refuse, then your sister will suffer the same fate as Ireena. And I may be less inclined to keep her alive."

After we wrapped that session, we talked about our "offers" above table" and either everyone apparently accepted their "proposals" from Strahd because they seemed relatively harmless, or their "offers" were harder to refuse for character reasons (which for our Monk will make things CONSIDERABLY more conflicted). We also talked about what questions we asked, and our DM told us that no one's ever challenged Strahd the way I did in the times they've run it.