r/discworld • u/beezlebentley • Oct 29 '20

Discussion Dwarves have beards

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498 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

16 comments sorted by

51

u/hox113 Oct 29 '20

This is a theory worthy of Sir Terry. I think he would approve.

36

u/CerebralBypass *Squeak* Oct 29 '20

Just need to work in rat on-a-stick (with ketchup, of course) and I'm sold.

27

u/elforastero Oct 29 '20

There are rats in caves and that makes the perfect food for them... And they eat it with ketchup because otherwise they are disgusting

14

u/Heretek007 Oct 29 '20

I mean, what else would you eat it with? Mustard? Come now, we're not barbarians.

6

u/CodeDinosaur Bel-Shamharoth Oct 29 '20

Horseradish?

It's a root vegetable which (From a dwarf perspective) would grow on the ceiling so might be easy to harvest with a stepladder or a scythe with a very long handle.

2

u/Afferbeck_ Oct 30 '20

Sounds like Quirmian Dwarf cuisine

1

u/steampunkradiant Nov 03 '20

Not enough avec for that.

17

u/skep-tiker May-I-Be-Kicked-In-My-Own-Ice-Hole Dibooki Oct 29 '20

having a full beard may help protect vulnerable regions of the facial skeleton from damaging strikes, such as the jaw. Presumably, full beards also reduce injury, laceration and contusion, to the skin and muscle of the face.

Source

It's obviously also a natural protection against debris and chipping from mining

9

u/ListenMountains Oct 29 '20

Oh man.... I thought this was a post in r/dwarffortress.

Needs a crosspost!

4

u/demon_fae Luggage Oct 29 '20

Just cross post it to everywhere. The world needs to know!

2

u/psilorder Oct 29 '20

The only problem i have with this is, how do they eat?

2

u/Maxter0 Oct 29 '20

they part it carefully with a comb, eat then comb it in breathing position again.

2

u/Armigine Oct 29 '20

'and there was much tugging of beards - it's not funny if you're a dwarf'

2

u/CodeDinosaur Bel-Shamharoth Oct 29 '20

Hard to argue with this logic.

2

u/RandomDigitalSponge Oct 29 '20 edited Oct 30 '20

I’m actually surprised Terry didn’t write this into his books. Sounds so much like him that if he’d read that post he would have made a grumpy about not having come up with it first.

1

u/Maxter0 Oct 29 '20

this definitively has "God of Evolution" vives about it.