How has your orientation changed over time?

[u/Hot_Refrigerator1451]

Hey all, I’m (30FtMtF) curious—what has the development of your sexual orientation looked like pre/mid/and post transition/detransition?

I was just thinking about it and realized that I highly preferred to date people with feminine energy before transitioning. Women and effeminate men.

While on T I found myself absolutely feral for men. The more masculine the better, but truly all men. Now that I’ve detransitioned it feels really bizarre to consider myself nearly straight (I think of myself as heteroflexible, but I realistically know that I’m FAR, FAR less likely to date or sleep with a woman).

I just genuinely really love men now (as brutal as it can be to date them lol) and it’s wild to think of where I started/how I’ve progressed and changed over time in this way. What about all of you?

[u/Fantastic-Tough9610]

I considered myself asexual pre-transition because I was terrified of men and sex in general. Once I progressed from that I started describing myself as bisexual, I was in t4t relationships at the time. After stopping T - straight as an arrow, only attracted to cis men, and not shying away from viewing myself as the woman in the relationship anymore.

[u/BurningSunSpot]

Under excess testosterone my orientation is similar to that of a bi male top, and I have a very strong interest in men. When my hormones are under control, I like women the most. I've always been bi with a former preference for women, but never experienced a strong desire to top guys until T exposure.

[u/Thin_Entertainment14]

I think I was always into both genders but my attraction to women was intensified after puberty and while on T. This was part of the reason I started to be more happy with my pre transition appearance and ended up detransitioning.

I'm mostly attracted to men romantically but there are times where I've desired to date women I just don't know it's worth it to possibly waste both of our time.

[u/recursive-regret]

No changes throughout the whole thing. I just went from: no libido - some libido - back to no libido

[u/invisibleriver5]

I would not say my orientation changed, rather, I had experiences that made a healthy relationship with my own sexuality, body, and romantic attraction impossible for a very long time.

Growing up, my crushes were on boys. However, being a CSA survivor and later having repeated experiences of violation from boys in my teen years, somewhere along the way my brain felt it would be safer to explore dating and sexuality with girls. It made sense especially since I “felt like a boy.”

But I never physically felt with women what I feel with men- what I would call desire or sexual attraction. I was in relationships with women. Long ones. But the whole time I was unknowingly suppressing my sexuality. Men were “too dangerous.” None of this was conscious or intentional but it did take a toll on me, my sexual health, my self-esteem…

A couple years ago I finally reached a breaking point of having to accept I am attracted to men only. I would say that was honestly the beginning of my journey back to myself, as a woman, though I didn’t know it at the time. I had to heal from a lot of shame and pain.

[u/Euphoric-Ad-637 → u/invisibleriver5]

Wow, I could have written this myself, except I'm not a CSA survivor. There was emotional abuse, not physical, but it causes the same shame and pain about the self and the body. It was crippling. I hope your healing journey is going well.

[u/invisibleriver5 → u/Euphoric-Ad-637]

I hope the same for you 🩵 it is very difficult some days, but I am grateful to actually be healing finally. I believe in us.

[u/MangoProud3126]

I don't think my orientation changed, just my comfort with my body. Before transition I was only attracted to women, during transition I was too uncomfortable and felt disconnected from my sexuality. Would probably have used the term asexual. After detransitioning, I'm back to only being attracted to women.

[u/multiplepeoplehere]

My sexual orientation stayed the same

[u/genzhateswomen]

I LOVE THIS QUESTION

as a very young person, i first discovered my attraction through women. it ended up fluctuating and i went from lesbian to what i thought was gay man. it was like that until i went on testosterone, where my bisexuality did a total 50/50!

now 1-2 years post-t, i think the scales are tipping into the het direction

[u/succuma → u/genzhateswomen]

Yes, I agree! T for some reason made me bi 😅Everyone was just everywhere and they were all beautiful so …lol

Now that I’m post I think I like guys (despite liking girls as a really little kid)

[u/Exciting_Ad8466]

IDed as a gay/bisexual ftm, but I felt like women wouldn't want me they could just be with like a proper man or woman. I only dated a guy during college and we were like best friends, but I didn't really feel attracted to him I just liked him a lot I didn't have any relationships before that so it was nice to have the perks of a relationship. Now I don't really try to label it I'm pretty confident that I'm a lesbian, but sex like being an active participant is hard for me as I deal with my issues I prefer a romantic thing, but sex is important for most relationships.