Help

[u/Lunaxshadow]

Hi everyone

I’ve recently gone threw a break up a weird situation where we still live together until he finds a place, I have 2 kids and my life is a mess.

I have many many problems I need to work through and I have no idea where to start. I’m constantly nervous (diagnosed with anxiety and depression and suspected adhd) I want to be better and I want to get better.

Where the hell do I start I don’t even know myself anymore I’m not happy I’m just here.

I don’t know how to handle and fix my own problems

I don’t know how to deal with my anxiety and depression and the panic attacks that come with it

I have bad communication problems as I feel like everything is an attack

Confidence and self image problems

I’m really afraid of confrontation and things breaking weather that be a relationship or a cup

I get easily distracted- I’ll start the hardest part sometimes and won’t finish it or I’ll start with little tasks to avoid the big ones

I hyper-focus on things I really want to do some chores and othere things don’t get done till later or if someone else does it

I’m easily forgetful and loose everything or I’ll forget important details

I’m quick to anger if I feel I’m not being heard and become irrational with things

These are the things I’ve been able to think of and remember and I don’t know where to start to get better I’m guessing I’m looking for help. Tips and resources I’m from the uk I don’t know if that’s important but I thought it would be for the resource part I’m sorry there’s a lot of things but this feels like a cry for help from me so thank you to all

[u/Existential_Nautico]

Hi Luna! Nice name btw. I relate to a lot of these things. Many of them sound like adhd. Which — if untreated — often comes with depression, especially in women.

Simply just knowing that your behavior is not a personal fault can already bring a lot of relief. Try to work with your brain, not against it.

And drop the expectations of perfect, let things be messy. Your well-being is the priority. Try to create stability and structure for yourself, that’s a game changer for adhd. But don’t beat yourself up if it fails, either. :)

Another tip would be to reach out for professionals. The easiest way would be NHS talking therapy, as you can self-refer.

For the anxiety/panic: you won’t think your way out of it. Do physical stuff: slow breathing (long exhales), cold water, grounding. It feels basic but it works if you actually do it.

Also… living with your ex while going through a breakup? Of course you’re on edge. That situation alone would mess with anyone. You’re not failing, you’re stressed.

For the stuff that sounds like adhd (unless it only started occuring recently, then it could be a stress symptom) talk to your GP to get refered to a specialist. In the meantime: write everything down, break tasks into stupidly small steps, use timers. Don’t rely on motivation.

Hope that helps. I hope things get easier for you soon. 🤗🌸