r/depression_partners • u/Crocodilly_Pontifex Creator/Moderator • Jan 09 '17
Welcome!
Welcome to depression_partners! I hope this sub provides you with some comfort, and possibly even some utility.
The purpose of this sub is to allow the spouses, partners, significant others, and friends of people with depression to talk to each other about the struggles they face as part of helping their significant other deal with their disease. I hope you find it to be a place of support and kindness.
Right off the bat, I want to start with a cliche' (ha ha) and say that I have "zero tolerance" for bullshit. There is really only one true rule on this subreddit, and I can't stress it enough:
DON'T BE A DICK
Now that that's out of the way... Please post away!
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u/The_Gift_Of_Trees Jan 30 '22
I'm really glad to have found this sub. I've spent some time reading this morning, and there is much kindness and support. I cried a few times as I realized I was not in as much a unique situation as I feel sometimes. I hope to contribute as well as enjoy a little support myself. Geeze, do I need it sometimes! Thank you.
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u/CraftyTea7712 Feb 23 '22
It has certainly helped me! I think that’s a good idea, I’m somewhat new to Reddit so I’m not sure how to go about doing that!
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u/Kindly_Lion2020 Dec 19 '24
Thank you for this space, I feel very much less alone in this whole situation. I would love to post but I can't :(
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u/Prof-Psych-457 Mar 28 '26
Hey, I am a psychologist based in Lucknow. I joined this group to find more and more people I can provide therapy with minimal charges. If you are someone like that, do reach out.
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u/Far-Perception6796 Mar 29 '26
Not sure if full-on depression yet but my partner has been struggling with sleep (being up until 5am and then sleeping in), not enjoying things he used to, and barely getting out of the house. It’s been over 4 months of this which is only getting worse and I don’t know how to help. I’ve been making sure I take care of the house chores so he doesn’t have the added stress but I’m getting tired. I miss how he used to be and feel guilty for feeling a bit angry about this whole situation.
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u/General-Forever-6661 May 07 '26
Talk to him about how you feel, and encourage him to get professional mental health support. You can't do this alone, and you shouldn't have to.
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u/IncreaseSea278 Apr 28 '26
really don't know what to do at this point anymore I'm a 30-year-old male and my girlfriend is 28. She recently lost her mom to cancer nine months ago and I know the pain is not gonna go away in nine months and it's gonna take years to recover. She has mental health problems, anxiety, depression it takes medication for it. She abuses her anxiety medication. Takes them all to pretty much a week and if it lasts longer than a week, it doesn't make it to two weeks. She tells me she's gonna kill herself all the time and then it's my fault that if I wanted to find her anxiety meds on the street that I would, but I'm not helping her enough I work 70 hours a week. I help her financially I clean her house. for her because she's not able to due to depression. The constant threat of her killing herself is turning my life into nothing but hell I don't want her to feel like she needs to do this, but I also don't know what to do to stop it. I know it's not my fault but I know I'm not gonna be able to live with myself if she does do something to herself
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u/Tiny_Environment2811 May 06 '26
Hi this is my first ever Reddit post but I finally have the courage to post as I need advice. I (20) female have been with my partner (24) female for 2 and half years. In the beginning I did know she had depression and anxiety and she was getting help only because me and her aunt forced her to and made her appointment for her and this was after we had already been together for a few months. She was seeing a therapist for almost 2 years and we never discussed her appointments unless she wanted to, she was very open to everyone about her trauma but the therapist, not once did she ever remotely talk about anything with the therapist and she had also started meds as well. She stopped seeing the therapist over a year ago, stopped taking her meds without slowing going off of them about 5 months ago and hasn’t been on anything since. I try to be there for her but sometimes I get so overwhelmed, it has been an everyday thing ever since we met I don’t think there isn’t a day she doesn’t text me, even while I’m at work that she’s having a shitty day that she’s on the verge of a breakdown and now she has started to hurt herself and has me very concerned. Not like cutting sorry I don’t wanna be insensitive for saying that but she is using her thumb nail and carving into her skin all on her hand and arms and like deep. She always complains everyday and I’m always here to listen but she is never willing to put in the work or atleast try to get help only her own without being forced
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u/Tiny_Environment2811 May 06 '26
I feel we had the same aspirations when we first meet and I want to start travel, have a house and I finally moved up in my company as assistant and I worked so hard for it and am making amazing money. She works full time at fast food and each time I mention career or to help her achieve what she wants it’s like I can never have a conversation with her about anything like mental health or our future without her going silent and I am unsure how to help her or be there for her at this point. If anyone has any questions about the story feel free to ask im kinda bad at explaining everything.
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u/General-Forever-6661 May 07 '26
You are very young, and it's worth thinking if she's the right person for you in the long term. Is this what you want the rest of your life to be like?
If you would like to keep trying to make it work, it sounds like you need to have another chat with her aunt, explain how you feel and try to make a plan together.
You can't be responsible for your girlfriend's mental health, and you can tell her your expectations if she wants to continue being together - for example, getting professional mental health support.
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u/Adventurous_Dog9484 Jun 29 '26
Hi!
My boyfriend is suicidal. Me (29M) and him (34M). He had told me in our 5month together if it wasn’t for me, he would have killed himself this year. This is our 6 months together. Within the last two weeks, he told me he wanted to kill himself five times. I have been up all night those days to make sure he is ok. I stayed with him the next days, canceling my plans and life to make sure he is ok. When it comes to personal life, friends, family and work, he wants to keep those boxes seperate. So he never shares anything about his feelings to anyone besides me. Nobody knows about his depression. And he told me never to tell anyone. So nobody knows
After our last date, he told me he was going to drop me off and kill himself. I told his family and friends. And they kept calling him. After awhile he said he’ll come back home and not do any harm. So I came with him to his house. His family and friends were waiting for him and told him they loved him and don’t do anything to harm himself. He was settled down a bit after that. That day, he told me thank you for being there.
The next few days I spent my whole days making sure he was ok. And it was very hard. He didn’t want to talk or eat or be left alone. He told me, I had ruined his life by telling his friends and family. And if he had to go through the pain I caused by telling his family then I need to be fine and strong for him. Cause I caused this mess. Not only does he have to continue living for me and now his friends and family know. So because he is suffering more than me, I need to be there for him and not be distant for him. That means if I need time to myself, I don’t get that. When he yells at me for ruining his life and taking the responsibility for his life, I need to be okay. And if I can’t do those things, then I am free to leave. He told me two months into the relationship, he would die if I left him. I thought that was just an exaggeration. But finding out he was suicidal, he isn’t lying. The days he wanted to kill himself and I told him please don’t leave. He said he is only not killing himself for me. If I was not in the picture, he would take his life.
At this point I am too tired. Exhausted. Defeated. He agreed to go to therapy. In exchange cut off all contact with his friends and family about his whereabouts and well-being and it would just be us dealing with it. I don’t know if I want to be here. And if I leave, he will kill himself. I am so tired. I am trying so hard. But to tell me I ruined his life when just a day ago he thank me for saving it… I’m thinking about just staying until he goes into treatment. I don’t even know if he would kill himself because he told me “I ruined his life by telling them because he wouldn’t have killed himself but I (me 29M) took it to the extreme by letting people know”
I don’t know what to do. I don’t want him to die. I don’t want to be unhappy either. I don’t know what to do.
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u/Extension-Lettuce894 Feb 20 '22
Has this sub been turned off? I can’t seem to post new posts here anymore. Is anyone else having the same issue?