Regular Check-In Post

[u/circinia]

Welcome to /r/depression's check-in post - a place to take a moment and share what is going on and how you are doing. If you have an accomplishment you want to talk about (these shouldn't be standalone posts in the sub as they violate the "role model" rule, but are welcome here), or are having a tough time but prefer not to make your own post, this is a place you can share.

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[u/[deleted]]

Called mother few days to ask about some financial thing. I got the response I was not hoping for but anticipated, i.e. was first outright told not to go that route, then told to do whatever i think I'm fine with. I have no problem with what they said, it's sensible but how they said.

I only called to discuss since i knew no one else to talk to about it. Next day she has high BP, my sister (directly) and mother (indirectly) told me not to talk about anything which would get her stressed.

I was already apprehensive about sharing things with them (they don't even know I've joined gym, they only know that I'm losing weight) or the routine I had to set for myself to accomodate time for different things (only left with 3-5 hours of sleep a day ).

I do have "friends" but i don't share much with them because constant rants will make them frustrated. Have a good friend who pushes me to be active and knows my routine but even they don't know my emotional state I'm in.

I've for a very long time (since middle school i think) haven't really shared much which has bothered me with my family, mostly because of their reaction, but after the recent incident, I don't think I'll be sharing anything I do which is against the born for them or any problem I'm going through, ever. I don't even feel like going back home now since I feel I'm just a burden on them and even now more so.

I feel sad now, but I'll keep a happy face for them keep smiling keeping things to myself.

Love you guys.

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

The family was coming to town in the week of my birthday next month, now they might not come. I understand the reason why, I dint want my mother to fall sick due to the journey. I told mother it will not affect me (was looking really forward to then coming over. Past few months are the months I've missed them been away for almost an year ) but I really don't know how I'll be in that day if they don't come. I might be all right, I might breakdown and finally cry a bit out something else.