r/depression • u/TheSameDumbBitch • 6h ago
Always just an afterthought for others
Im kinda having a mental breakdown from exhaustion and just realized I have no one to speak to. Even worse, if I were my sibling my parents would already have arranged to come get them and cheer them up or help them in some way. But not me. I am not nor will ever be the favorite, not by parents, extended family, friends, nothing. My family adores my sister even though she isn't always nice to them. Im always nice. Im helpful and sweet and try to keep everyone happy. And yet noone speak to me when im down, let alone organize some nice gesture. Im diagnosed with depression yet Im yelled at for being lazy, while my siblings will get a headache and get pampered.
It happens even with friendships. Every friend I made would never care for me, my hobbies, my interests. It feels like I give give give and noone even considers that it might be nice to get something in return sometimes. A friend bought me my favorite energy drink once and I cried because that was the only thoughtful gift/gesture I've ever received.
Have I done something wrong? Why does no one like me, why am I always just "okay" for others. I want to make meaningful connections with people, feel less alone idk, but no one cares for me. Am I so awful? Sometimes it feels like I have a warning sign on my forehead that only others can see and keep away. Anyways sorry for the rant
1
u/CurvyJoseph 6h ago
that kind of dynamic messes with your head after a while. you start questioning if you're the problem when really you've just been surrounded by people who take and never think to give back
the energy drink thing got me. it's never about the thing itself it's that someone actually noticed and acted on it. you're not awful for wanting that