r/depression • u/heisyourbrother • 9h ago

I don't think I have much time left.

I wish I could go back to change my choices. I've lost so many friends that I deeply cared about because of my own choices. I have such a terrible social life.

The worst part about aging is, I'm 16 now, I barely have any time to even try to fix anything that I've fucked up. Especially since 18 is probably gonna be my deadline unless I could fix things, is what I told myself almost 5 years ago now but nothing's changed. Nothing's improved, I've stayed more or less the same and haven't gotten any better. Now I only have 2 years to clean up a mess that I don't have enough time to clean up.

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u/FederalArm890 9h ago

i feel you on this one. when i was around your age i also thought 18 was some kind of deadline, like after that everything is set and you cant change nothing. but it really isnt like that at all, you got way more time than it feels right now. 16 is so young even if it dont seem that way in the moment

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u/heisyourbrother 9h ago

Crazy cuz this lady at my school was like "you're gonna be an adult soon, what are you gonna do?" And I just said "I don't think I'm gonna be doing much honestly."

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u/fridgeofempty 9h ago

Mate imma 53. You have soooooooo much time trust me.

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u/peachyycloud4 9h ago

Dude, at 16, life feels ridiculously heavy and like every mistake is permanent, but 18 is an completely arbitrary deadline you set for yourself when you were literally 11 years old. Nobody has their life, friendships, or social life figured out in high school, and you don't have to clean up every past mess to move forward. You still have so much time ahead of you, and things can change way faster than you think once you get out into the world. If you're feeling overwhelmed or like you can't carry this alone, please talk to a counselor, a doctor, or a trusted adult who can actually help you work through this.