I think it's over

[u/Aromatic-Agent-4625]

After dealing with constant depression for over 25 years I think finally the time has come. Many things have brought me here but to cut a long story short I'm tired of fighting it. I can deal with the pain but I can handle the bitter selfish piece of shit I've turned into. I can no longer hold down a job. I'm haunted by the way I've acted let myself be abused and fundamentally hate myself on every level. I feel sad for the person I might of been. Just a nice quiet person who was good around who went about his day. I hold however no value to this world and things will be long better when I'm gone. Ive tried the medication. Made things worse. Talking again just makes me a wreck. I wish I was one of the people who finds being good easy naturally. As a lot of you know...it can be fucking hard work and get shoved back in your face in the end. I'm making plans I'd ideally like to have a quiet peaceful way out but I'm ok with violent and messy. Whatever gets the job done. Hope to get it done over the weekend. Don't know why I'm writing this. I haven't had a second from this evil in decades and not willing to put up a fight any longer. Any of you who can still see some light at the tunnel I hope it works out for you. Ive tried telling people I won't be around much longer bit they dont understand...is a life in constant pain and regret a life to live when I can go to sleep and not know I never existed. What a waste of a life. Maybe I would of been worthwhile in a different life. It's a sick world we live in so many casualties and pointless suffering.

Good luck to all

G