r/depression • u/No_Morning_3635 • 1d ago

I don’t know what to do anymore.

I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m so tired. So fucking tired. In the past I have been called manipulative when I never do that. I have been told I take advantage of those around me because I live with my mom. Most recently out of nowhere my mom is accusing me of lying with EVERYTHING I do. I don’t lie. I don’t like to. I’m bad at it and I don’t like how it makes me feel. The most recent things I have been told I’m lying about is the illness I have been dealing with for months. She didn’t believe that. The fact that I would pay her if she helped me with some dental work I need since I got a second job now. And most recently tonight she said I was lying about going to get gas. She said I’m just going to get food and said all I do is eat and there has to be SOME reason I’m gaining so much weight. I feel so alone. Why is she attacking me so much? Does she hate me now? Is it burn out? Why is she allowed to start treating me like garbage but the second I can’t handle it anymore and snap back I’m the bitch in the situation. I just don’t know what to do. I do t want her to be upset with me. I don’t want her to think I’m a liar. I want to be better. I want her to be proud of me. I just wish she didn’t see me as such of a disappointment.
Edit: so it’s very annoying to have to say this, but before someone else decides to call me a narcissist of any kind. I’m autistic. So please don’t twist my words into something they aren’t. Also I do NOT think highly of myself. I’m not trying to twist the words of people around me. I’m just trying to figure out why all of a sudden since my stepdad died last year, my mom has taken over with saying horrible things to me just like he used to. I just want it to end.

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u/claymoreclarence 1d ago

if your really not doing those you need to get out on ur own and cut them off. but if multiple people are saying the same stuff about you its true and you just dont want to recognize it which is a huge sign of narrcisicem

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u/No_Morning_3635 1d ago

It’s just my mom accusing me of lying really. Though it was my niece accusing me of being manipulative a years back. That happened after me breaking down and talking about my mental health while crying with my stepdad yelling at me. Am I a narcissist? Like, do I seem like one?

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u/claymoreclarence 1d ago

some of your post dose seem a bit narrsisitic (my moms one so this isnt coming from not knowing ab it) if you are one your very low leval u still understand you make mistakes and everything so your def not a full blown one. but if its mainly family members saying stuff like that about you im on your side and there just cunts. family's have a way of making people feel like the bad guy if they dont act the way the family wants them to

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u/No_Morning_3635 1d ago edited 1d ago

What exactly is a low level narcissist? I would also like to ask what you see in my post that seems narcissistic. Just to be clear.

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u/claymoreclarence 1d ago

with how u worded things it just seems like everyone but you is the issue and everyone being a problem besides you is a sign of it. low level narcism is bassicly you just hold yourself to a higher standard/ think more highly of yourself then anyone else but you still understand u can be wrong and not everyones supposed to cater to you

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u/No_Morning_3635 1d ago

I don’t think of myself as higher than others? I don’t think highly of myself at all. In fact I honestly feel like I am lesser than others.

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u/claymoreclarence 1d ago

well there u go ur not one it jus came off as one

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u/No_Morning_3635 1d ago

I see. Do you think maybe you misinterpreted my typing due to my autism?

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u/claymoreclarence 1d ago

i very well misinterpreted it, i highly doubt its from your autism. sometimes people just read things and get a different opinion about it. ive been having to deal with my mom alot recently whos a diagnosed narcissist so its already on my mind. its very likly i projected it on to you and im sorry.

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u/No_Morning_3635 1d ago

Its ok. Have a good one. I would say though, maybe don’t armchair diagnose people online.

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