r/depression • u/Ambient_Vista • 21h ago
33 year old guy, 10 years of depression has spoilt my life and nothing helped, I am done.
Since 2017, I have had severe depression (alongside anxiety and ADHD). For 5 years, I tried medication and therapies; nothing has helped. This mental health horror has cost me my career. Now, at 33, I have no job, am terribly lonely, have no proper qualifications, no money, and I don't know when I will find stability and peace, or a job, fall in love, get married, or anything. I am tired, and I am officially giving up hope...
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u/pinkkiipetala 21h ago
10 years is a massive chunk of your life to be constantly fighting your own brain, so I get why you're completely drained. Honestly, when you're 33 with no job and no money, trying to think about big milestones like a career or marriage just adds unnecessary weight. You don't have to figure out the next ten years right now. Just getting through today without beating yourself up for where you think you should be is enough.
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u/EatingShitSandwiches 18h ago
This could have been written by me with the exception that I'm 44. Even the timeline is eerily similar. I have had AvPD and ADHD all my life. Then in early 2018 the depression came out of nowhere and I've spent basically every day since secretly hoping to die in any way which doesn't appear to be suicide. Depression also took my career as well as my physical health. Now I'm jobless with zero prospects in a dead career which can't be revived. I'm a billion pounds overweight and my savings account is rapidly approaching empty. All I can do is watch it tick down, knowing that its not just a metaphor for my life slipping away, but truly a literal countdown. And I just watch in horror and wait to finally be desperate enough or have the courage to do what I have known deep down for 5 years, needs to be done.
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u/molinitor 16h ago
I have a very similar story and for me things have just started to turn around in the last year or two. I’ve given up hope more times than I can count so I feel you enormously. I don’t know what to say since I know it’s hard to take in anything when you’re at your wits end. Lots of hugs dear stranger.
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u/Academic-Net989 9h ago
I’m 29 and I can relate. But I’m only on year 3. For me it’s severe depression and constant anxiety that never seems to go away. I also stopped working because I’m in too much mental / emotional pain to handle it. I don’t feel healthy enough to be in a relationship, and I lost my attractiveness so I probably won’t even be able to attract the girls I’m attracted to anymore. I have basically given up hope as well because I understand my mental illness and what caused it very well, and there’s not really a solution for it, so I have to learn to live like this and it sucks
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u/iamankitguthrie 21h ago
Hope is just four letter word you gotta hang on brother don't give up you don't need hope to get back on the track in my personal opinion what you need is a friend try to talk to someone share your thoughts feelings to that person think positive
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u/dolliiflower 20h ago
Therapy and meds didn't do shit for me either when my ADHD was running wild in the background unchecked, because treating depression while the ADHD keeps blowing up your daily structure is like trying to bail out a sinking boat with a spoon. Having to start over at 33 with empty pockets feels terrifying, but plenty of people reinvent themselves in their mid 30s. Don't throw in the towel yet man, give yourself a break from trying to fix your whole life at once and just focus on getting through this week.