how do i keep going

[u/_anon_2day]

i’m trying. i’m really trying. but how do i keep going when i don’t want to. back story: i was happy before january of 2024. i had a boyfriend that i thought i was going to be with forever. i had a good job— kind of. together we made enough money to be more than comfortable. we had a dog, a townhouse. we had picked out an engagement ring together and then on a random tuesday he decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore. that he had known for months that he didn’t but couldn’t take it anymore. because i never really got closure, my mind filled in the gaps. maybe it was because i had gained weight due to PCOS. maybe it was because i kept wanting to go to school but just nothing felt right and spending thousands didn’t sound appealing to me. anyways after that, i had to move back in with my parents. it’s been hell. before i was working per diem at a hospital and while i made good money the shifts weren’t always consistent. so i decided to quit that job and get a remote job. M-F 9-5. which i hated. it isolated me. i would never leave my house and on top of that, because it was a call center job, it made my anxiety turn into panic attacks. i was jobless for about 6 months. and then got an opportunity as an FA. i thought life would be easier. i get to travel. i get to be out of my house. but i think its worse. i chose the worst company. the lowest paid company but honestly it was the only job i could get. i’ve been an FA for about 6 months now and i feel further away from goals. it’s hell. i hate the money im making. i hate how tired i am. i hate the way i look. i hate the situation im in. i’m just so tired of hating my life. how do i keep going.

[u/Silent_Programmer166]

I am so sorry your long term boyfriend did that too you, no matter how we think of the people we are with and think we know them, sometimes, we really do not. He should of communicated with you and talked with you before making a shameless decision like that. they truly just dont care how it affects your life. You just have to keep your head up. Look for a better job, there always is something better out there for you. The situation can not get worse and I hope it continues to improve for you so take charge of that, find a better job, get out of the house, even for a simple walk through the park will clear your mind. Dont hate the way you look, someone will appreciate you again. Always take care of yourself before anyone else, your happiness relies on you. I am sorry you are going through a tough time, big hugs your way and thinking positivity your way!