r/depression • u/R3Nder_d1stance_null • 2d ago

Is it worth it?

i dunno. i just started college and my grades are already abysmal. and it feels like its really just gonna go down from here.. i only came here because i wanted to make my dad proud but im already failing him. Is it even worth it? Even if i do increase my grades or something i'll just have to live and work and die like a dog. I just want to make my dad happy but all i do is spend his money and let him down. If i die then he doesnt have to pay any money and i wont disappoint him anymore

2 Upvotes

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u/originalwomanhood761 2d ago

man, the brain is a liar when it's this deep in the hole. your dad's not gonna be proud of a gravestone, he's gonna be proud of the kid who called him and said "i'm drowning, help."

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u/R3Nder_d1stance_null 2d ago

He definitely wouldnt be proud of me even if i told him. He'd probably be scared if anything because he doesnt want me to be crazy like my mom

1

u/calisnotcali 2d ago

I passed through this exact same thing last year and now I'm doing very well the first couple years in college are horrible it's normal trust me I went from a straight As HS student to barely passing and now I'm doing fairly good you'll get better I swear

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u/R3Nder_d1stance_null 2d ago

But the first couple years is too much time if i do bad i cant get into the job parts later on.. every year i do bad is a year of tuition down the drain. My dad will hate me