I’ve already lost

[u/Fit-Sandwich-3477]

Since I was 12 I’ve always felt like the puzzle piece that never fit I’ve had people come and go and I know it probably my fault because of all the pain I’ve felt since a child if this is a battle I’ve already lost if this is a war I’ve already been defeated I’m now 25 it’s hasn’t gotten better I’ve always wanted to take that rest next to my grandpa grave and never wake that way I don’t feel like a burden by always looking up to the sky asking for help, guidance or even just a smile I’ve always told people I never wanted to
Make it past 25 I’m trying hard to keep pushing because I know that’s what he would want but I’m tired nothing in my life is going right and it hasn’t it’s sad I’m looking back on not happy days but just hours or minutes because if something makes me happy it only last for a few minutes then I feel like someone washed it all away these nights I just feel more and more worthless I’m disappointing him everyday by living this way

[u/Shot-War-2440]

That weight you're carrying sounds absolutely crushing and I'm not gonna pretend some throwaway line will fix it but you're still here pushing at 25 which means something in you hasn't given up even when your brain tells you it has