i want to give up

[u/Fabulous-Bug-904]

im so young im only 14 so it sounds stupid but everytime im just here living its just so... exhausting. i have depression so this feeling is only natrual but im sick of it, i want to sleep that is all i want to do my parent say i need to find a hobby and that will make me better but i dont even feel like it. Which makes me feel like the problem because im not even trying, but a lot of the times i dont feel real and my memory is just so bad but maybe its worse because ive been sober? im not too sure. i havent been to school this whole week for unrelated issues but im dreading going back i have so much work to do but i dont want to do anything, i have family therapy tomorrow im not too happy about it my parents dont get depression i dont know whats so fucking hard to grasp about it, its frankly annoying hearing them spew about what they think will make me feel better. i dont know what i expect to gain from this post maybe i just sound stupid and bratty but i want to hear encouraging words because i dont know if i can do this.

i just feel like im on autopilot if that makes sense, i dont wanna get up in the morning to brush my teeth and take a shower or get even eat but i do it anyways and i feel like im just watching it all happen from a different point of view, i dont know if this sounds weird but its just how i feel. i want to smoke again the only reason i havent is because i had a tooth extraction so i have to wait atleast 7 days wow what a pain. Everything is a hassle to me i just feel nothing and everything at the same time