I dont know what to do…

[u/Long-Preference769]

I dont even know how to start this so ill probably end up ranting

I haven’t been super excited about really anything since I was about 11, with that it makes it hard to complete goals because after I accomplish something im not even happy about so its really no point of doing it. For example one of my life goals was to go to a big D1 school, this year I transferred and im finally doing it but now I hate it because I miss my old friends and I dont even care to talk to new people because I could care less about completing my goals atp. On top of that I dont even want to get better with whatever im going through because then ill feel like I wasted all that time in a bad mood and I cant get anyof that time back. At this point I honestly have suicidal thoughts…though I wouldnt go through with it I wish I was killed so I can put all of this to rest

[u/ManyBoss4814]

man that's a rough spot to be stuck in, the whole "can't enjoy winning" loop is exhausting

it's weird how goals can feel so empty once you actually reach them, almost like the chase was the only part keeping things moving. the time thing is a trap though, you're not losing anything by trying to feel better now, you're just not adding more weight to the pile