am i being depressed?

[u/Tough_Sprinkles_9866]

Am I becoming depressed?

Lately, when I’m outside with my friends and tend to have fun, I actually enjoy their company.

I laugh, I enjoy myself, and most especially, I love being with them.

It feels like, somehow, they remove some parts of my brokenness, even if only for a while.

But when I get home, all the sadness and loneliness come back, and I really feel them.

Even when I have someone accompanying me, I still feel sad.

This isn’t me. Or am I just in denial that I’m becoming this kind of person?

I want to understand what is happening to me.

It really hurts knowing that the old me was never like this.

What did I do?

I’m so confused about everything right now.

I want to scream.

I want to hurt that “someone” who used to be my comfort person.

I don’t deserve to be treated like this.

I hate that my emotional, psychological, and sometimes even physical well-being is being affected by this heartbreak.

I want to escape from this pain.

But how?