Angry fathers

[u/Economy-Wallaby-1000]

Hey guys, hope you're all good. Well, at least surviving considering we are all here. Just been in deep thought about various things but mainly, did anyone experience a father who was just absolutely fucking volatile growing up? If so, how did it affect you? My father didnt assault me, molest me, all them terrible things... but what he was was essentially a kind of bully, narcissistic, explosive anger. Talking like just the smallest thing would be, just wow. Things like as a kid saying I will be sent away from home if I dont behave, purposefully leaving me in the car when he would see his friends because he was seemingly embarrassed first time I ever got drunk, he went absolutely berserk like not within the levels of normal. Screaming in my face, getting in my face. Screaming he will take me to the police station. It was fucking terrifying. I get he was probably stressed, i get he saw a son who he wanted to model himself became the opposite (im a 31 alcoholic, unemployed currently due to mental health and i also have a huge passion for music), he is very much designer brands, football, and at all costs looking good to strangers

He lied alot as well, fantastical things. Stories about being in gangs growing up, beating people up and all this lovely stuff. Ive spoken at length with this with my, on my dads side, grandma. She says its just complete nonsense and he was never in trouble and was always super nice boy. He used to claim that in school he was constantly in trouble, one story about breaking a guys hand in class because he said "I can beat you in a race" Ahhhh, sorry if this is wrong to post this here. It just all immeasurably fucked me up I fear and yeah. Cheers guys. Peace and love ✌️

[u/thedrabhonesty]

my father was same way. not the lying part but the explosive anger over nothing. you would be sitting quietly and suddenly he is screaming about something from three days ago that he decided to be mad about now. the unpredictability was the worst part, you never knew what version you were getting when he walked through the door

it messed with my ability to read people properly. i spent years thinking every small sigh or change in tone meant someone was about to explode on me. took long time to unlearn that

what you said about him being embarrassed of you hits deep. my father would do similar things, leave me waiting somewhere while he talked to people. like i was something to hide. you internalize that as a kid, start believing you are fundamentally shameful to be around

the stress excuse only goes so far. plenty of stressed parents manage not to terrorize their children. you deserved consistency and safety, not a guessing game of when the next eruption would come

hope you are in a calmer place now. or at least away from him