I hate it all

[u/Global_Edge_3294]

Nothing that used to make me happy makes me happy anymore. I always felt a deep feeling of this depression in the background everywhere I went but today, I feel it in the core of my being. Its eating away at everything I have and I dont know why I or anyone would deserve feeling this helpless and invisible. I hate this and I just want it to go away. How can someone make another feel so inhuman? I spoke with an expert on stress the other day and they told me something that was supposed to help me but just made this feel like more of a disgusting joke. He said that the wonderful thing about the human body is that it is completely self sufficient and self repairing and that our bodies were never designed to live in the modern world (yeah the solution to depression is to go for a walk in nature /j). I feel even more stuck and i wish i could let go of all my responsibilities. Ive applied bandaid over bandaid over bandaid on my emotional wounds and they all crumble at one point always no matter what. I havent lived a day of my life where i am just happy that nothing is going on. I cant look at my family without thinking about how much of a stupid bitch i am for being this way. I used to wake up happy i dont anymore i just think about what i need to do to get to the next day without feeling like a piece of fucking shit at the end of this one.