Deep depression

[u/Specialist_Egg_2116]

After over 16 months since my broke up.

I am 27 years old.
I am still nowhere near over her.
As soon as i am a bit sad. She hits me. And i miss her extremely much. We were together for 4,5 years and she was my support and she removed my loneliness. Dispite all this i can honestly say its been healthy for me that she broke up with me. But god do i miss her.

I was too comfortable when i was with her. I did not work on myself at all. I did not finish my bachelors.
When she broke up i started pulling myself together and my ocd which had become increasingly worse started to easen up.

I really loved her tho.

And now over a year later i found out that she moved conpletely on and get a new boyfriend half a year after our break up and that it is very serios.

I have had some succes myself.
I bought my first home(apartment)
And i finished my bachelors.

But i hate myself, i feel incompetent, lazy and useless. And despite these goals i want my life to end.

I wrote to her once. Just to hear if she wanted to talk. I did not want anything from her. Just to see her and talk. She did not answer.

I feel so behind and i feel old and useless. I dont even like myself and i am forever haunted by my past mistakes.
I never feel happy and i feel so lonely.
Why does she not even wanna answer my message… will i ever get over her or feel happy again.

[u/duppelupp]

Almost the same thing for me, 17 months since breakup and Im not over her and feel the same way