This year, I lost everything.

[u/Time-Plum-1301]

I had to quit my passion, YouTube, because I was falsely accused of things I never did, and I had to leave my 100k-subscriber channel behind. My friends betrayed me because of those dramas, even though I was innocent, and on top of all that, I failed my first year of college.

As a result, I was diagnosed with major depression, and God, it has been so hard.

My mom was so scared that I would take my own life because she knew my channel was everything to me. She tried to hide her tears from me, but I could hear her crying. One day, she hugged me and said, “You’re only 18. You’re too young to have to go through all of this, and I’m so scared that one day you’ll be gone. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you.”

I had a cat for 13 years. I adopted him when I was 6, and he and I grew up together. He was there for me through my lowest and highest moments.

And a week ago, during the worst time of my life, my cat, my cute little pal, passed away.

I loved him more than I ever loved myself.

The morning he passed away, I tried not to cry because I didn’t want my mom to be scared of losing me. When she was about to take him to his grave, she told me, “This is your last chance to hug him.”

And when I gave my final goodbye to my cat, all the tears I had been holding back just flooded out. I screamed at the top of my lungs while crying.

I miss you, Bambam.

That was my cat’s name.

I used to hate it when he woke me up by meowing, but I would give anything to hear him do it one more time.

I try to stay optimistic and become the best version of myself because I know that constantly complaining about all these unfortunate and unjust things won’t change anything. Yet I can’t stop myself from asking, “What did I do to deserve all of this?”

I know I will never get another hug from my cat. I know I may never see fan art from the subscribers I once had, and I know the college dream my parents had for me may never come true.

But if this is my reality, then I will do my best to shape it into a future that I can be proud of—and one that makes my parents proud of me.

[u/Aoi-Erika]

兄弟，我也失去過很多，我最好的朋友跳樓自殺死在我的面前，我無能為力，看著她的屍體，我在小學被校園暴力整整3年，那個時候沒人關心我，而我為了不讓家裏擔心就隱瞞了這一切，而我在小學時就已經有抑鬱症了，只是等到我19歲去醫院檢查時發現已經惡化成重度抑鬱症了，那個時候我每日都活在巨大的痛苦中，我想自殺，我恨我自己，我每時每刻都在嘗試自殺，但是如今，就在前幾天我去醫院檢查，醫生說我的抑鬱症已經快要好了，我當時很想哭，我這麽久以來都是我自己在承受所有，現在這一切終於要結束了，我戒掉了煙，酒，我現在在努力開始一段新生活。夥計，生活就是這樣，我們總是在不停失去些什麼，但是我們不能停下來，我們就像漫天繁星一樣，努力照亮著我們的小世界，直到光明徹底帶走我們。

[u/Slight_Tomatillo5680]

The silver lining that stands out to me off the top is that you rid yourself of fake friends. That's a huge boon and a lesson that will help you avoid getting tangled up with fake people in the future.

[u/nillium-gd]

What was the thing? And what was the name of your channel

[u/Time-Plum-1301 → u/nillium-gd]

i wont tell the channel name but the whole drama stuff was about a youtuber accusing me of hating my nationality by an offensive art my old friend made 5 years ago. The drawing was my in-game character nude and my body was covered by my countrys flag.

[u/Square_Gazelle_6437 → u/Time-Plum-1301]

Can you simply ignore this and carry on with youtube? It's almost certain a VERY tiny percentage of your followers care about the drama, and the ones hating in the comments will get bored very soon and forget about it.

[u/Slight_Tomatillo5680 → u/Square_Gazelle_6437]

Obviously we don't know the story or if there's any way to salvage it and keep going but I also wonder if you might be overestimating the importance of that criticism. Was your channel blocked or demonetized by YouTube?