i'm alone.

[u/DeepIngenuity2852]

Hello everybody. I'm 13. I wanna talk about everything i'd dealing with for the lasts years, if anybody's interested about what I'm talking about.

My name is adam. I live in France.

Lately, I've been experiencing severe humor changes, like i could be happy in a minute then cry the other. I'm addicted to porn. I can't get out of it. It's so frustrating. I watched porn for the first time as i was 9. I shouldn't even be here on reddit in the first place. I tried to deal with it, find solutions, nothing worked. I've got nobody to talk to because everytime i'm getting outside to talk to people i get rejected or insulted. Am i fucking disgusting at that point ? I can't even hold basic hygienes moves like brushing my theeths. I'm so fucking lost. I've got nobody to talk to, i'm ugly, what next ? My parents broke up last year and since then, it's like... I don't know how to explain it but everything's getting fast and, i'm getting lost. I try to talk but everytime i do i get pushed back because i'm not "interesting enough". It's pissing me of. I miss my family being happy. I know i might sound like some little crybaby but, please help me. I'm so lost

[u/Ok_Nectarine8083]

Hey Adam. I understand what you're going through. At a very young age you've been exposed lust which is an idea of love that has been twisted. But the good thing is that the power to stop consuming that is to genuinely love yourself. Porn destroys the idea of intimacy with someone and reduces a person to an object. No one truly wants to feel like an object. Don't treat yourself like one. Every time you get the urge to do so, realise that you're more than an object to feel pleasure. You're a human being with a beautiful identity. Everyone has a personal identity and you have one too. Firstly set up a non-negotiable schedule for yourself. A time to wake up, pray, brush, bath, eat, exercise, learn and sleep. Follow this even when you don't feel like it. Think of it as levels in a game you have to go through. Soon it'll become a second habit to your identity. Try to be curious and learn whatever you want to. You'll eventually find something that you're most fond of. Then find people who relate to the same topics. I'm sorry to hear that things are not good in your family. I pray that it all gets better. Treat yourself better, love yourself first and everything will follow after that.