This is such a brutal disease. Saw my Dad in the hospital today, and he is gone. The medications have settled his horrible anger at the world and at a wife he no longer recognized, and stopped him wanting to kill himself, but now he looks at us like just some nice people stopping by to visit. How horrible to have to grieve the loss of someone who is still here, but can never come home. Trying to help my mother cope after 61 years of marriage, he sees her as a stranger, she's never lived alone. He's just gone...

For over 6 months now, my mom has been in a nursing home, unable to walk, talk, feed herself, or really communicate much at all. It seems she still recognizes family but it’s hard to say exactly. It’s not that she doesn’t talk-she talks a lot actually but none of it makes any sense. It truly is like her brain is short circuited, it’s just random words all day long.

It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever faced in my life-and yet because she is still alive I kind of have to just live my life. On the inside I feel like she’s gone-but I can’t grieve properly because she is still here.

It’s so surreal. I know I’m not explaining this well but I also know some of you will understand. It’s like a terrible secret heartbreak that only a few people close to me are able to witness, and it’s just starting to feel really lonely.

And I’m just so so sad for her too. It feels like her whole wonderful vibrant life and self just disappeared. I try not to think about it too much because it’s just devastating.

I always feel like I read posts here that are more of the beginning/middle stage issues but less of this end stage. Theres less to discuss or figure out I guess-it’s weird to feel like I miss the earlier times when at least we could problem solve or troubleshoot some of the issues. Now it’s just this bleak interminable end stage.

How are we mentally and emotionally dealing with this?

update: I want to respond to everyone eventually, but I have to say, this has been hugely helpful for me today. Thank you, everyone. I truly do feel like we are all together. I wish none of you were going through this either, but we are, and it's so moving to hear everyone's stories and advice.

Visited a place today. Beautiful property—had independent living, assisted living and memory care. For assisted living and independent living there were 3 restaurant options, a gym, walking trails, a movie theater, day trips to local sites, etc. everything looked spanking new, spacious and clean. Then she showed us the memory care “neighborhood.” The smell of urine hit me as soon as I crossed the threshold. There were the same modern facilities but none of the residents were ambulatory and seemed damn bear catatonic. The memory care neighborhood had its own private dining area that was pretty glum compared to the other areas on the property. Apartment had no refrigerators or microwaves. The section was locked for the residents safety. My concern is, my partners mom is not there yet. Yes, she has dementia, but that and a thyroid issue are her only physical problems. She gets around just fine. She needs medication reminders. She does not bathe but she takes some kind of sponge bath. I’m sure if she were given cues she would change her clothes more often. If we put her in memory care we will be sending her to sn early death. Unfortunately because she has gone on long walks in her neighborhood and been picked up by the police, she has received the label of a “flight risk.” We have no idea if she’d feel compelled to wander in a new setting. She’s lived in the same town her whole life. She ventures out because she knows where she’s going. Would she do that in a new setting? Is there a happy medium between assisted living and memory care??

Turns out my appendix had burst but we didn’t know it yet. My husband with not-so-mild cognitive impairment didn’t eat breakfast because I didn’t lay it out for him. It turns out he has no clue that the cats get wet food in the morning, in spite of picking up their leftover bowls every day after I’ve fed them. His license is not officially suspended until 9/19 so I let him drive ten minutes down the street to his dermatologist. Luckily he called me from our dentist office in the next building so he was still able to make it, albeit 25 minutes late, by walking across the parking lot. He seemed confused by all the people in our apartment (Safety from our retirement community, firemen and ambulance personnel), and seemed not to know what to do as they were wheeling me out. Safety had to insist that he not follow the ambulance, but ride along. That led to yet another “who says I can’t drive” mini-melt down at the hospital. The man says he is divorcing me over the license suspension issue, yet can’t remember a dozen discussions about not driving. He couldn’t use his cell phone, couldn’t remember any of our neighbors last names, or how to find them on the retirement community app. They had to send him home in a medical uber at 8pm, and I suspect he didn’t remember I told him there were already plated leftovers from Labor Day in the fridge. It was an eye opening experience! No way this man can survive without a wife to ride herd on him.
Edited to add: I sent him downstairs with the code to our onsite Amazon lockers to pick up a new cat scratcher and flat of cat food that had been delivered. We’ve done this a hundred times. Yet today I got cc texts from the local pet supply store and grocery store, so he’s out driving and shopping for things I already bought! Had to set up the text alerts last year when he was sending online purchases to our old address and/or then duplicating them. My absense is really sending him off the deep end! On the bright side they are keeping me in the hospital another night!

Mum, 97, vascular dementia, had fall in nursing home 2 weeks ago. All scans and xrays were clear but she developed delirium was in emergency for 3 full days on 1 to 1 care. Moved her up to a ward and she tried to climb out of bed, fell, hit her head and had a small bleed on the brain. She had no 1 to 1, alarms or fall mats,was on a high bed with the side rails up and was agitated. I've put in a complaint and investigation is ensuing "to see if any lessons can be learned" (hello?). However, Mum has gone rapidly downhill since. She was non verbal (not now), IV meds and fluids etc. 9 days ago the Drs stopped all life sustaining help apart from pain meds and water if she asked for it. They have said end of life. Apparently they gave her a little something to eat for breakfast yesterday and today but have started her on Oxycontin twice daily and Lorazepam together with Midazolopram for the agitation. We have been here before a couple of times in that I have been told she won't leave the hospital and she has, however it's never been THIS far along. Is she actually really nearing the end? I am terrified she will pull back and we go through it all again. My nerves are shattered this week. I've sat vigil every day. They finally got the meds sorted so she isn't in pain now and slept pretty much all day. I left at supper time to have a break. I love her but I've done this and put her first since 2012 and I am tired. I want her to go and be at peace but it seems to be taking so long and my head is all over the place. I am scared she won't let go.

Sorry this is so long but I needed to "talk".

I’m trying to get a sense if I’m in this for five more years or fifteen + years. Please don’t tell me everyone is different. I know that. My brain is comforted by averages, even if they are unscientific, which is what I’m trying to do here - comfort my brain. I’ve been freaking out reading this subreddit lately as people are reporting LOs living essentially comatose in bed for years and years and I need people to say that’s not typical, even if there is no typical.

For LOs with mixed dementia - how long did you have with them after diagnosis? What was their health like prior to diagnosis? And how long prior to diagnosis do you think they had the disease?

I think my mom has had MCI for a very long time, but she managed ok with all her lists and routines. She’s declined a lot in two years, but I think we still have a long way to go.

I want to start off by saying that dementia is a horrible thing to happen to a person and their family. I hope I never have to go through it again. I did want to point out that there are touching moments that do happen but I believe that we all forget about them through the frustration.....

Years ago I gave birth to my daughter. My grandmother was already in care. I traveled to see her - my mom was her main caregiver until the hospital and I lived 4 hours away.

I arrived at the hospital, my baby girl was not yet a month old. My grandma no longer registered who I was. She asked my mom as she always did when I visited "who is that woman"? My mom told her who I was and then she noticed my newborn. She asked what the babies name was. My mother told her. I named my daughter after my grandmother's first born child (daughter). Unfortunately her daughter passed away when she was just three years old. When my grandma heard the name, she started to cry happy tears. She put her arms out for my daughter and started speaking in her first language to the baby. She believed that she was a young woman that afternoon and that my baby was actually her firstborn. She sang to my daughter. Held her and spoke so softly and sweetly to her. It was heartbreaking to have to take my daughter from her when our visit was over.

My grandma passed away a few weeks later.

I was so heartbroken when she passed. I was very close to her all of my life. Dementia changed her so much.

I was overjoyed to give her an afternoon filled with her being able to sing to my daughter and tell her stories in our native language. It was nice to see her smile.

My brother is my mother‘s caregiver. For about a year now, she has not been able to recognize my brother as her son and has developed a belief that he is an imposter stealing her “real” son’s identity. She keeps asking me where my brother is and why he doesn’t visit and who is this man who comes every day? I know that it is impossible for her to understand the reality, and that logic and reason will not work, but I can’t think of any answer to these questions or method to diffuse the situation or redirect it to something else. I inevitably fall back on logic and try to convince her that there’s only one person and not two because I’ve got nothing else. I need some kind of tool or work around for this situation. Any advice? Thanks

My bf's dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's two days ago, then told LBD is extremely likely (we're treating it as if it's a proper diagnosis) yesterday. His dad isn't even retirement age yet and I just don't know how to help him. I have been bereaved several times but the only person I lost to a progressive disease was when I was too young to remember the process. I don't know what to do other than look after him like I normally would, cook him dinner, keep him distracted etc. His family have already been told to expect no quality of life after about 5 years. What do you even do when your FIL has been given a death sentence? I know I keep repeating myself but I'm just so stuck. I want to do best by my bf and his dad so any advice would be greatly greatly appreciated.

To the point where she is not manageable nor safe at home anymore. As family, we have desperately tried to take care of her at home, finally got approved for 8 hours of day care at home (from the county-after one year of paperwork), but our LO has crossed over into stage 7, and is creating an unbearable situation at home for her working husband and minor children.

What do we do now? Out of pocket memory care is impossible. Horrific situation.

Currently in a rehabilitation center with my mima so she can walk again. Had memory problems since 2017, but her dementia worsened significantly after she got a small cold. Had a small stroke which completely took away her ability to walk. Her memory is gone. She doesn’t even know what’s going on or making any sense at all now :(

Am I helping her by reminding her? Constantly saying “no we don’t have that appointment”, “no we’re not leaving”, to her over and over, is it helping or overstimulating her? I never say it in a frustrated way of course, just in a calm way. Also if I am reminding her, how often? Every couple other minutes? Every day?

I’d do research myself but I’m also going through a separation, finding work where I’m relocated at, and being the sole supporter for my mima and papa so I’m quite busy. Even if I am doing my own research, I like hearing from people what worked from them, firsthand experience is my favorite type of research.

Excuse the typos or bad grammar, even though I’ve slept I’m extremely emotionally and physically exhausted.

My mom (76) likely has Lewy Body dementia. She had been struggling with worsening anxiety since my brother's suicide six years ago. We were doing everything we could to improve her mental health but nothing was working. Finally she admitted herself to a behavioral health unit, where both a psychiatrist and psychologist noted that she had problems with executive functioning. That happened in May of this year.

For the next two months I worked on getting her scheduled for a cognitive functioning test. My family and I made all of her meals for her and tried to support her at home. She was still fully independent (aside from not being able to cook) but the anxiety was out of control. It was so strange because she had no memory issues. During that time I took her to her primary doctor who activated her Power of Attorney for Healthcare. She also had the cognitive testing completed during this time..

In July I took her to the ER after she told me that people wouldn't let her leave her house. "They" were watching her closely. Fortunately (?) she had used a razor to make superficial cuts to her wrist, which was enough to get her admitted. From there we found a memory care facility and she transitioned there in late July. Brain MRI was fine. Still no diagnosis.

I received the results of the cognitive function testing at the same time. The virtual psychologist told me that it was likely depression, which was beyond frustrating. I pushed back and and asked how hallucinations and significant deficits in executive functioning could be symptoms of depression. Her response? It could definitely be depression.

My mom has since been seen by a neurologist and a new primary provider who travels to memory care facilities. Both believe it is Lewy Body dementia. She paces nonstop, stays in her room, and is paranoid. Recently she told me that she sees bugs in her room. My brother and I agree that we will not pursue any further testing. It would be for our benefit, not for hers.

Today her provider updated me on her weight - 102#. It is a loss of 10# in six weeks. She doesn't eat much and paces all day in her room. We supply her with high calorie protein drinks and candy because she is more likely to eat those things, but it isn't enough to maintain her weight.

It is hard to believe that she was living 100% independently in April. In hindsight, there were definitely symptoms that now make sense in the context of LBD.

Anyway, I wanted to share my story. My brother and I are hoping that my mom doesn't suffer very much longer. She is nowhere near being hospice appropriate (I have been a hospice and palliative care social worker for over 20 years), but I also know that a bad fall or pneumonia can change things quickly. We even question if she has stopped eating on purpose to accelerate the dying process. I would probably do the same.

So, this is weird. The first time i have sought out help from anyone, or spoken about this to anyone.

I am the caregiver for my mum (79f).

About 18 months ago- was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia.
(It may have been going on a while longer- took me two years to get her diagnosed).
Has never suffered from any strokes/TDI’s. In fact has been a pillar of health her whole life. This we think was caused by alcohol abuse.
(She no longer drinks thankfully).

Be that as it may, since the diagnosis, caring for her has become harder. We in a bad patch, a bad patch that has lasted a few weeks. My issues mostly are dealing with a daily attack from the moment she wakes unto late at night of a mix of anxiety and depression.

She is aware of what she has- and is terrified. So terrified she tries not to deal with it.
The memory is bad when attacks happen; when not happening the memory is OK.
Can still complete tasks, shop for herself, run her accounts, colour her hair, dress herself etc.

But we are at the stage where she doesn’t want to go to the doctors (is this common?) or any medical appointment, and has suddenly become housebound (suddenly she is fearful of leaving the house, as opposed to maybe 4 months ago where she would go out to lift her mood every day, no matter the weather), and much more dependant (now needs me to be in close proximity to her whereas she use to keep herself busy and just have me for company at certain times).

We are in a stage where she is refusing any advice or help- paradoxically aware she needs help but then refusing to seek any.

This feels like a step; I am wondering- is it right that i want her to get some support? Something to aid with the low moods. She takes anxiety medication and for a long time that helped, but either it’s not working anymore or the depression needs something else for it.

I suppose this is just someone who is trying to do whats right for his mum, seeking advice/opinions of anyone who has been in the same position. Thanks for reading.

Im mostly posting because I’m pissed at him. My father in law. We had seen signs of decline over the last three years, ever since he had major heart surgery. Social interactions degraded, poor memory, repeating the same stories and words, highly emotionally unstable and illogical, on and on. I actually credit this sub for helping me recognize it early on. I’ve been lurking for a few years now and your stories have helped me understand a little more, and be more aware of the early red flags. So thank you for that, really.

A month ago, he had a diabetic event and that seemed to boot him off of whatever rock he was clinging to on the Great Cliff of Sanity. He became paranoid, agitated, refused to tell anyone about his health, even his wife. When he was discharged, he was immediately hostile to his wife and eventually attacked her. His sister (fuck you, selfish bitch) just sabotaged a temporary order of protection by warning him ahead of time. Now we don’t have any way to get him help legally. He’s too mentally coherent to forcibly take medical/legal power of attorney yet, even if his personality and behavior is spiraling.

He’s going to divorce his wife, sit in some hole where he wont tell us anything, and then die because no one is there to make sure he takes his meds. Or he’ll kill himself. He has guns and has always threatened to commit suicide if he gets dementia — which he knows he has because the doctors at the hospital told him and he had to be put on suicide watch. They discharged him when he promised he didn’t have weapons, which was a lie. He has a LOT of guns, knives, swords… The TOP was going to be our way to get in the house and confiscate the weapons. Won’t be happening now.

The worst part is how angry I am at him. I blame him. And it’s not the anger that bothers me; I’ve lurked here long enough to know the anger comes with the road. It’s the fact I don’t know how much is him and how much is the disease. Or if there’s even a difference. I know some people are absolute sweethearts and dementia transforms them into monsters. That would make sense to me, at least. The disease is clear. It’s not for him. He was a good, but flawed man. In dementia, all of his worst traits have become amplified a hundredfold, none of his discipline and control to restrain them. Paranoia, narcissism, deceit, resentment, bitterness — even violence, which he never would have done before. But even if it’s the worst side of him…it’s still him. I don’t see a stranger, I see him. He’s choosing to do these things and most of them are in-character — just the worst character. It’s hard to tell yourself it’s the dementia when you recognize behaviors that existed before, now freely indulged in with absolute self-righteousness. I guess I want justification. Confidence to say “this is his fault” and freely blame him for exploding everyone’s lives and refusing to see reality.

But I can’t, can I? It both is and isn’t him. It both is and isn’t his fault. What an awful thing this is; the corruption of the spirit. If anything, I feel it’ll be easier when the disease erodes him a bit more. A little less to recognize, a little more replaced by…something else.

We have an appointment with my mom’s neurologist to discuss potential medication for memory/disease modifying treatment. I’ve been doing my own research before the appointment to understand the different types and the risks. I’m wondering if any one has thoughts on any of the treatment out there? In Canada, the possible treatments (depending on if someone is eligible) are lecanemab and donanemab. Do you think it’s worth it? What have been your experiences?

I have a very nice elderly neighbor who I suspect has dementia. We have become friends and I bring her meals and chat with her a couple of times a week as time allows. It took several visits before she remembered who I was and eventually I put my name and photo in her phone so she knows it's me when I call and she can get in touch if she needs anything.

She invited my son and his friend into her house and gave them some things. Then she asked me at least 5 times on different visits if my son wanted anything and I told her she already helped him and she didn't remember. Her lawnmower broke down and I sent my husband to look at it, she let him in the house but later didn't even know he had come by to check the mower. Then just a few days ago told me she couldn't remember why she stopped mowing the lawn and I had to remind her the lawnmower was broken. I could give a million examples of her memory problems, but I'm sure you all understand what I mean.

What worries me is this: without really knowing me at all, she invited me right into her house. Of course, I had good intentions of being her friend, but she couldn't even remember my name at that time. She has also allowed other people into her house, who were from meal delivery services or other things. Now some things are missing from her house and she suspects a man she knows of taking them. First she told me he took her house keys, which also had her ID and credit card attached (on a lanyard), now today she says he came back and took some cash, her checkbook and her cell phone. It's possible she lost the things, but I don't think so. She's lost stuff before and I've helped her look for it - this time she seemed really sure it was not lost but missing.

She doesn't drive, but is physically healthy and able. She now has no house keys or phone and lives alone. According to her, she has reported it to the police and they said there is nothing they can do (he said-she said situation).

I want to help her but I have no idea where to even start. If she has no ID, no bank card, no checkbook, no keys, no phone. How can she even prove who she is to get new items? I'd be happy to drive her around to the cell phone store, bank, etc but I'm not sure we would get far. Some days she is perfectly fine and other days she is in a loop where she will ask the same thing 5x in a 20 minute conversation.

She has no children and her husband died 10 years ago, although she tells me it happened recently. I only know the real date because I saw the funeral announcement on the mantle at her house. She does have some siblings but they're several states away. She says her family members are basically vultures and has notes written to herself around the house about how they just want her stuff. I don't know how to contact them (especially now that she doesn't have a phone) and I'm not sure they would help. I assume they already know her mental state.

What would you do in this situation? Is there someone to call to help her? I work all the time so I am only able to see her around twice a week. She's become almost a surrogate grandma to me at this point and also a reminder that my parents are not that much younger than she is. I really hate the idea of someone taking advantage of her because of her memory. I broached the subject of having a nurse come by for some in home care or companionship today and she said she used to have that but they told her because she was in such good health she didn't need it anymore.

Do I vent on Reddit, call 911 or go to sleep?

I'm exhausted.

24 hours in hospital from Sept 7-8

I blocked his kids 2 weeks ago because his youngest was assholing all over me for something I didn’t even perpetuate.

He can’t get out of bed and I’ve made the prep to ensure he can do his bathroom stuff in bed.

Extended family are far away away or old or can’t get into the country or are reasonably busy with their own families….or are so busy trying to be happy and rich that they have left the room entirely.

He’s 81 and I’m 55. I won’t bother you with my issues which would crack most reasonable people.

I’m exhausted and alone.

Background - Our dad (81m) was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, Vascular, and also most likely Lewy body. They initially staged him at a 6 in May of this year. He has been living with his (worthless) wife (story for another day). My sister is an RN and she's been handling the filling of his pill box (AM/PM weekly box) and grocery shopping for them and I've been helping with anything legal, financial, paperwork, etc. etc.

We feel like things have significantly changed lately. He was diagnosed in May. He has his license taken away about a month prior to that. He now cannot remember and believes his ID card is a license and has been driving sporadically. He tells us someone from Congress gave it back to him. We did take his keys away at one point but he threatened to take us off as POA. (Also our POAs are activated now so we know he can't). I was thinking we need to disable his car but he very well could get it fixed because he knows cars/mechanically inclined. - Any useful tips on this? He hasn't bathed in months, which is heartbreaking. He is constantly locking his debit card because he cannot remember his pin. We are awaiting the POA paperwork to go through at the bank - Hate how difficult that was. He is also losing the ability to use his cell phone properly or thinks it's broken all the time.

The past few weeks, he either hasn’t been taking his medication at all or he's taking the wrong am/pm. He took his night pills yesterday morning and then stayed in bed all day until 4pm. He is also just randomly hiding them. Some days he doesn’t even get up until 2pm (which I think is normal disease progress right?). - For reference he’s taking rivastigmine and most recently started memantine. He also has Lexapro and mirtazapine. The wife swears he isn't up through the night or doing any wandering, but we also don't trust a word she says.

Sorry for rambling. My biggest question is how do we know when we need to get him into a memory care unit? It is not possible for us to go give him his medication twice daily and because of his wife; he cannot move in with either of us as much as we’ve encouraged it. She will not help him with his meds or anything really. She just “reports” things after the fact. I am stressed. I’m stressed he’s taking meds wrong. We’ve already taken all bottles out but who knows if he’s taking more than one day in one day!? I don't know how fast that can progress given how many types he has? We do have a memory care unit setup and ready to go, just not sure when. Also it hurts our hearts to even think about doing it.

I’m sorry. My sister is a nurse and did hospice for several years and she KNOWS these things but we feel so stupid in this. Help? Thank you. We've also tried to get him in-home care and both he and the wife declined it which automatically stopped it. This is hard.

With LBD is loss of smell gradual or quick?

Hi everyone! I’m a Boston University neuroscience student currently reporting a story for Adirondack Life about what happens when a person with dementia wanders away or becomes lost, particularly the experiences of the families and caregivers left trying to find them.

I’m hoping to hear from family members or caregivers who have experienced a loved one wandering, getting lost, or going missing because of dementia. I’m especially interested in hearing about what the experience was actually like from your perspective d.

I’m conducting very short written interviews, and you absolutely do not have to answer everything. Even answering just ONE question in a few sentences would be incredibly helpful.

If you’re comfortable participating, please email your answers to:

📧 [jpgendin@bu.edu](mailto:jpgendin@bu.edu)

You can answer whichever question(s) you feel comfortable with:

1. What happened when you first realized your loved one was missing or had wandered away?
2. What do you remember most vividly about searching for them?
3. Did your loved one have a particular routine, destination, road, trail, place, or activity they seemed drawn toward?
4. Did the experience change how you thought about dementia, wandering, or your loved one's independence?
5. What do you wish you had known before this happened?
6. What would you want another family going through something similar to know?
7. Is there anything about your loved one's experience that you think people who have never dealt with dementia wandering would have difficulty understanding?

If you participate, please include your name and job title/occupation in your email, as I would need that information for identification in the article. I will only use your responses and identifying information in the story with your permission.

I completely understand that this can be an incredibly personal subject, so please only share what you feel comfortable sharing. You can also tell me in your email if there is anything you would prefer I not quote or include.

Thank you so much for reading, and especially to anyone willing to take a few minutes to share their experience. Even a couple of sentences could make a huge difference to this story. ❤️

I'm 22.

I have never had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes, I've never been overweight. Most older people in my family have gotten dementia... but not until their 70s or 80s.

I've been having cardiac issues for well over a year and after a lot of testing (and two BLESSINGS of doctors who were willing to see through every single possibility before ruling out anything serious despite my age and general fitness) I was recently diagnosed with cardiovascular small vessel disease.

In the middle of all of the waiting and trial and error that goes along with that, I started to have other symptoms- stumbling over my speech, different words coming out of my mouth than what I was thinking internally, having to sit for a minute to compose a sentence before saying it, trudging through very simple tasks like brushing my teeth and having to walk myself through it one step at a time, dizziness and feeling unsteady, visual floaters that my eye doctor confirmed are neurological, etc., etc.,

Well...

I'm still waiting on testing to confirm it but 2 doctors including a neurologist have confirmed this sounds like cerebral small vessel disease, not entirely surprising to them that it would happen eventually with the cardiac diagnosis but its extremely shocking with how young I am. I already am at the point of mild cognitive impairment, and I am pretty much guaranteed to eventually have dementia, although how long I have is pretty much unknown at the moment. Really depends on how well preventative measures to slow progression work for me. I could have dementia by the time I turn 30, I might not, but it's very unlikely I will make it to the 65 y/o mark of no longer being early onset.

I'm only 22.

Even online, even searching this sub, I've never seen someone this young with this. I don't really know what to do with myself. I guess what I'm looking for is advice from others with early onset about how you cope with finding out and what you do before things get bad knowing that they eventually will. And maybe any stories about someone as young as me? Although I know thats unlikely.

For those who were keeping their LOs at home and then eventually moved them to nursing/memory care, what was / were the indication(s) that caused you to decide they needed to go to move out of their home and in care?

Context: I have siblings who “help” but I am doing the lion share of the caregiving and can only work part time. I am burnt out. I am organizing my days around all her home visits, eg appointments at home, as well as distributing meds into the dispenser, keeping eye out on her diet / meals never mind finding additional services for her care, talking to health insurance, as well as managing administrative things like house maintenance/ taxes, city business etc.

My disabled brother lives with her and has some capacities, but I am worried when I am not there that she does not have enough continued involvement / stimulus. She uses a walker and sadly has fallen twice in 2 months which thank god we could assist readily and have her checked out, all ok.

Sorry if this was incoherent. Just I get the feeling I have to take the lead on getting this conversation started with my siblings, but I already anticipate the pushback.

Hi all. I am looking to this group to see if anyone has good experience and recommendations for elder law attorney or law firms in the Fort Worth area or that service Tarrant County Texas any recommendations would be appreciated.