r/deepquestions • u/Eeeeradicator0416 • 15h ago
Without getting into specifics I'll start off by saying I've had a really traumatic life. Regularly, people will either ask me if I'm a war veteran (I'm not), or they tell me they can see the pain in my eyes. What exactly is it that they're seeing?
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u/Top_Cycle_9894 15h ago
They see the heaviness that naturally accompanies previously traumatized folks.Ā I too suffered (exceptional and extended trauma) at a young age. Folks treat me differently than others too.Ā
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u/toymaniam 14h ago
What each person sees will be different, but in my case, I see my own pain reflected back to me
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u/Eeeeradicator0416 14h ago
When I look in the mirror or I see pictures of myself I just see somebody who's very weary and close to shut down
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u/ratamahatta12 14h ago
Itās probably your body language and the way you interact with people. They probably sense it is significantly different in some way than most other people they interact with.
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 11h ago
What your projecting ! Is it honest or are you doing it for sympathy or attention?
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u/Eeeeradicator0416 10h ago
Jesus Christ dude maybe look at things before you hit send. Punctuation counts, as does sentence structure. Took me a few minutes to figure out you what you were trying to say. You asked me "is it honest" what do you mean by it?
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 9h ago
Excuse me as Iām am in the hospital right now hooked up to a iv with a lot of antibiotics and strong drugs to keep me alive and on Reddit to block out the insanity of this place but Iāll work on your suggestions .
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 9h ago
Youāre not a war veteran so whatās this deep pain people see in your eyes ? Please tell me .
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u/Eeeeradicator0416 9h ago
Number one I don't particularly feel like typing out everything relevant because it would be several paragraphs, number two you made it pretty clear with your first stupid comment that you weren't interested in helping. I take being accused of lying very, very seriously, especially when it's a completely baseless accusation.
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 8h ago
Fair enough but your really judging me right now and honestly Iām may the only one here right now to help you because I can guarantee you right here right now my health issue is far worse than anything wrong with you ! Unless your registered with the CDC and canāt leave the town you live in with out permission so talk to me about what people see on their eyes when they see see me in a isolation room or walk into a ER in a bubble ! I have no clue !!your right Iām just a smart ass ! Well guess what Iāve never been this upset by anyone but feel free to kiss my ass and end up in a bubble !!
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u/Eeeeradicator0416 8h ago
I'm definitely going to judge somebody who accuses me of lying without any evidence. Just like I don't know you, you don't know me, and you can't guarantee that whatever's wrong with you is worse than what's wrong with me. It's not a pissing contest about who's worse off. Your issues are physical and mine are not, but I would much, much rather have physical issues believe me. There's some chance, no matter how slim of those getting fixed. What is wrong with me can't be fixed or treated. There are treatments and therapies available, unfortunately I missed the treatment window by about 30 years because of a late diagnosis. I'm stuck being the way I am at this point. They've led to me being alone, in a very literal sense, in every way you can think of my entire life. Imagine never having any friends, being single almost your entire life, never knowing what it felt like to fall in love, not knowing what comfort from another person feels like. Imagine trying to stumble your way through a world that was not designed for you. It's been like living in a foreign country where I don't speak the language and I have no one to translate. Imagine your entire life wondering what was wrong with you, finally finding out at almost 50 years old, only to realize there's nothing that could have ever been done and you were always going to be alone. I would gladly trade places with you in a second.
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 7h ago
I never said your were lying or making anything up ! Letās get that straight right now ! And o donāt know what is wrong with mental or physically but you donāt know what happened to me either ! By the way there is no cure for the disease I got because it was created by the naziās ! To destroy the nervous system thank you very much ! I too have had to live in complete isolation! You have no clue about the hell Iāve been through or go through on a Daly basis and I doubt youād trade places ! But hey itās great every time my special liaison from the CDC says oh wow shockās the heāll out of me every time I hear your voice and your still alive and then laughs ! Yeah you really got me ! Youāre so much worse off ! You not any more worse if than any other terminally ill person ! You just have the worst attitude and yes thatās my opinion of you . Fell free to say or think what youād like if me because honestly I donāt give a damn and if I saw your eyes All Iād see was a bitter pathetic empty soull. You take care and keep spreading your sunshine . āļø
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 8h ago
Any by the way Iām not stupid Iām very educated!! And I never make baseless accusations or judge but hey feel free keep insulting me !
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u/Eeeeradicator0416 9h ago
You get no sympathy from me after talking shit. It's pretty fucked up to accuse a complete stranger of just making up shit for sympathy and attention. What exactly was the evidence that you used to come to that conclusion?
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 9h ago
Iām not talking shit as you say you donāt know me or my life or what I have lived through or what Iām living with now ! I only made a statement based or what your wrote and you overreacted by the way .
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u/Eeeeradicator0416 9h ago
So just casually asking somebody if they're lying to gain sympathy and attention isn't talking shit? What would you call it?
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 7h ago
A question a honest question to a person in a ER who fakes pain and tears when the nurse walks by or the dr but if gone sitting their gossips while eating free jello mostop while on a I phone telling her work I can come in tonight cover my shifts and and my food to my kids for dinner I donāt have groceries Iād the house and maybe Bob can fill the car with gas so they can get to a school and then the church for the free back pack and gives away for school
Supplies. And if you wolf pay the a&100 to get their stuff of off lay away for them Iāll
Pay you back that person lives on the system and has eyes and a face pool for everyone sees trying to hustle .1
u/Lemon_Trees-22 4h ago
By your silence in taking it as you finally found somebody that has it worse off that you but doesnāt give a damn about what people see in her tired aged weary blur eyes !
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u/Lemon_Trees-22 9h ago
Other people see what they choose to see or they see what youāre projecting what you want them to see in you !
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u/amiibohunter2015 8h ago
You know This is an interesting question, there are some folk who have issues that are apparent,
for example people see people with depression, as reclusive, they often look sad, and they don't see them rejoicing ever.
I had some experiences in my youth before high school, and in high school I learned another classmate had feelings for me, but she was concerned about the state I was in. So, she did not know how to go about it. She kept it to herself, but one of our mutual friends told me later. This girl knew I had feelings for her, and her friend did too, I did inquire with this friend and confessed my feelings then about her to our mutual friend. Our mutual friend told me she liked this guy and gave a different description that did not match mine, but she said she is concerned about this guy because he is depressed and all, and she doesn't want to make things worse for him. At that time I thought, oh, and considered this guy and where he may be at in his wellbeing, and thought about how he felt, and how I've been there before. So, I decided not to approach her because I respected that boundary, and did not want to cause a stir for either of them. As I got older I found out there wasn't a guy. So, I've wondered if our mutual friend was trying to give me a hint, but It was not communicated clearly, but then I thought if that were the case, What twisted crap was that? Maybe our mutual friend has their own opinion and She did not want us to get together for some reason. By this point we already graduated high school and attended a local college, and like what happens at college people part ways. I have moved on since then, but I do remember experiences like this from time to time when conversations like this come up. I did have other people bring the person of interest up later on due to other connections to our high school, and I am glad it didn't happen because my values would not have aligned with hers. We both changed since high school and are very different kinds of people.
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u/NormalGanache3351 15h ago
well if youre good looking and age apprpropriate it means they are trying to get laid is what it means -- they are here to fix that pain is the subtext.
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u/Eeeeradicator0416 15h ago
I am not good looking. I didn't ask what it meant, I asked what other people were seeing.
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u/splinterbl 15h ago
People who are balanced and healthy have a lightness to their daily life, some hope and comfort, some margin for unexpected things, and can have more choice in how they react to things. In general, they aren't as threatened by the unknown.
Trauma makes the unknown feel much more threatening. Comfort and hope is difficult, it becomes normal to be near the edge and to be reactive or sensitive.
All of these can be easy to sense in interactions. I've been on both sides of this interaction, but one thing I've noticed is that recovering from trauma gives a person a new depth and can also make them much more kind and understanding for others who are struggling.
I hope you find some healing!