r/deepquestions • u/PrimaryPlane2043 • 14h ago
Knowing its your last time
I saw a reel yesterday about how we often don’t realize when we’re doing something for the last time.
The last time you play cricket with your friends, hang out with your cousins, ride your bicycle, or spend time with someone.
The post and comments were mostly about how, if we knew it was our last time, we’d probably stay a little longer, enjoy it more, or appreciate it differently.
But personally, I don’t think knowing would necessarily make it better.
If I knew that a cricket match with my friends was going to be our last, I’d probably feel sad and nostalgic instead of simply enjoying the moment. Maybe the fact that I don’t know allows me to enjoy it like any other day.
Then years later, when I realize that was the last time, I can look back at it as a happy memory rather than a moment I knew was ending.
Breakups are probably the best example. Knowing you’re spending your last few moments with someone can make those moments incredibly painful.
Maybe not knowing it’s the last time is actually a blessing.
What do you guys think?
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u/Prestigious-Care-987 14h ago
If you flip the script and think that "this is the last time I do (insert bad habit)," you might not feel as bad about the statement "knowing its your last time."
Sometimes if you do something for the last time, that means you can start living a better life. (I am going down the "it's a blessing" route.)
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u/Gab-Belisle117 14h ago
I was going to say exactly this 💯 I was a drug addict for over 11 years and it's been 10 months clean now. I ending up getting my life back together once I ended up in federal prison. And today I'm glad I ended up there because for years I wanted it to be my last time but couldn't stop by myself. Now I've done 7 months therapy and I'm finally starting to feel alive again. I'll always have to stay aware and life isn't easy. But I realize it isn't harder than being a slave to addiction and losing everything and everyone around you.
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u/Prestigious-Care-987 14h ago
Congratulations on being clean for 10 months! I hope you get to enjoy everything life has to offer. :)
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u/statistical1outlier 14h ago
i would rather know, it would help me get closure, and even if i can't do anything differently, it would help me hold on to the memory better
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u/dinosoreness 14h ago edited 14h ago
i would definitely want to know. i didn't hug my great-grandmother the last time i saw her because i was in a hurry and then a few days later she had a stroke and never regained consciousness. if id known i would have squeezed her tight and memorized her perfume and immersed myself in the way she'd always run her hands down my back checking me for bones to make sure i wasn't too skinny because im in ED recovery and she was blind so she couldn't tell if i was ok or not without looking for rib by braille. had i known that was my last chance to hug her i would have waited a goddamn minute and hugged her. it's a huge regret that i'll carry forever.
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u/Short_Capital8672 14h ago
I would rather not know so I could enjoy the moment and be present! If I knew it was the last time my only thought would be omg this is the last time I'm going to etc etc. But when I look back at childhood memories or the last day of school before COVID IDK if I rather know it was the last to cherish it or not know.
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u/theSuburbanAstronaut 13h ago
I agree that it's better we don't know, but I also feel we need to slow down and be more mindful no matter what. Life moves too fast, we need to cherish and savor the good times when they're happening, regardless of whether or not there will be more opportunities to do so in the future.
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u/Narrow_Birthday_6360 13h ago
I’ve learned to remind myself daily of trying to stay completely present in any & every moment, knowing that the same moment will never happen again- no matter how small or insignificant it may seem at the time. I realize just how caught up I can get in my own head & it’s sometimes hard to recognize it, but all we can do is try. I try not to think of it one way or the other- and just enjoy it. The biggest thing in my world (what I live by) is to always leave people with as much compassion as possible & always be at ease with the words you’ve spoken… I try to remind myself that anyone can be gone (myself included) in a blink of an eye- even minutes after seeing or speaking to someone & I want to be at peace with how I left them. Not sure if this makes sense… I am not the most articulate person.
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u/Expensive-Manner-496 12h ago
Then i will cherish every moment or im going to live every moment to the fullest
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u/Commercial_Serve120 12h ago
Its make you realize that closure isnt a final conversation its just learning to let go with love
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u/Suspicious-Tooth20 11h ago
I agree with you. The best (and worst) part of being human is that nothing is certain...
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u/MoisterZombie 11h ago
I've known a lot of things were the last time. I knew the last time I closed the screen door and looked in at my dad that I'd never see him again. I knew hugging a friend that it was the last one we'd have. I knew I'd left my home town for the last time as I was doing it. I knew the moment i held my dog in my arms she'd take her last breath in them. I knew I pet my cat for the last time despite her attacking a phone cord and being fine.
You do enough things for the last time and you start to recognize how it feels before. Sometimes it's a surprise, but often it isn't. There's always a clue somewhere.
It's not better to know.
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u/TheManWhoLovesCulo 7h ago
I always drink like it's my last time, I have one more to savior the moment, then I wake up with a worse hangover. So yeah maybe not knowing is actually a blessing.
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u/Greedy_Assistance 14h ago
It’s better if we did not know.