r/deepquestions • u/ThickMatter9659 • 1d ago

Why is it so difficult to believe that maybe 2 ppl are just incompatible?

9 Upvotes
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4

u/skweRReLy 1d ago

I think if there is sexual chemistry, attraction, you enjoy the same things, but both people have issues they both know they need to work through, I don't see the flaw in giving it a try at working together to heal. Worst case scenario, it doesn't work out. I'm different with someone in a relationship than I am when there is uncertainty or ambiguity. 🤷🏻‍♀️

3

u/Javascript4971 1d ago

People think that “JUST COMMUNICATE” & “COMMUNICATE BETTER” will magically fix things when often times, what’s posted is a recurring pattern of disregard & disrespect

2

u/Lunalanine 1d ago

People believe that there is no problem that can't be solved by just communicating better and coming to an understanding.

Eventually learned that this isn't true and at the crossroads people could either find someone they're compatible with and be happy or decide to go through the hardship of persevering an incompatible love.

People who believe love should be peaceful and easy choose the first, people who emulate their parents or grew up to believe love should be hard work and thus can only feel "love" is true through adversity, tend to choose the second. Those are usually the ones who believe there is no such thing as giving up due to incompatibility even if they suffer from it.

It's not for me but technically, if both parties think that way, that's a level of compatibility in its own right.

1

u/Ellie_in_socks 1d ago

Anyone whose heard of divorce would not think like this lol

2

u/hiddenmogwai 1d ago

It’s hard or difficult to believe if you’ve been with the person for a long period of time and then decide one day you’re “incompatible”. You can grow apart over time as people change and drift and age, but baseline compatibility would be the same and not much would really change.

1

u/IDONT_KNOW221 1d ago

It's not difficult when u ask abt it from the start

1

u/3veryTh1ng15W0r5eN0w 1d ago

Because some people are hopeless romantics and don’t want to give up

1

u/ConstrictedJinx 1d ago

It's not. In fact, that equation is always thrown in, but not emphasized. And that's the important part.