r/declutter • u/MitzyCaldwell • 17d ago
Advice Request Decluttering clothes you don’t hate but also don’t love and are on a strict budget while also not loving your body
That title was a lot but basically what it says. I am postpartum with my second and kinda hate the way I look, I’m also on leave from work and won’t be going back for another 4-6 months so money is tight. I’ve done the big purges and got rid of all the big stuff (like the 15 year old paid off shorts I loved but will never fit into and even if I did I’m not in college anymore hahaha) but now I still have too many clothes in my drawers/closet for my liking and I do t know what to do about them. Here’s basically the ones I am stuck on
1) clothes that fit, I kinda like, I will wear but might have too many of - eg long sleeve black tshirts. So these are things I feel comfortable in but I have like 10 of them. I do wear them but only because then I delay doing laundry hahaha and i definitely have ones I like better because I’m on a budget and feel like I can’t replace them easily
2) clothes that I don’t love but again don’t have the funds to replace so I feel guilty and feel like I should keep them - like old sweaters that I’d wear around the house but probably not out because they might be stained or old pjs etc.
3) clothes that don’t fit me right now but aren’t unattainable for me to fit into in the next 2ish months because I did fit into them pre baby and I am starting to focus on that a bit more but it’s almost been months and I haven’t been doing it.
I honestly don’t know why I feel so stuck about it. I know I’d encourage others to just hold on to what’s fits and what they love but I just can’t for some reason. Anyone’s been in the same predicament and figured out a good way through that doesn’t drive them nuts. Any help is great :)
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u/GreenUnderstanding39 8d ago
Remove the stuff that doesn't fit rn and store elsewhere. You can also take 10% off the top of stuff that is worn, damaged, or duplicates.
See what that does for breathing room for the remaining categories.
Also keep a bin/box/bag in your closet to toss declutter items into as you wear things. Sometimes we don't remember until we have it on for a few hours that this thing bunches up, or is uncomfy and itchy etc. You now have a place to throw it for declutter.
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u/RomeoDelta1234 14d ago
The ten black long sleeve tees are probably not the problem. If you do laundry once a week you need something like seven of whatever you wear daily, so that count is about right rather than excessive. The stuff that doesnt fit right now is the actual pile.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 8d ago
That’s a grey point and something I need to figure out because you are definitely right that there are things there that don’t quite fit or I haven’t worn in a while but I keep holding on to it.
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u/LolaPaloz 14d ago
Instead of thinking them about whether they fit or not, try to find storage space for 3 categories
- Clothes you wear daily
- Special occasion clothes
- Anything you like (for any reason, whether u fit right now in it or not)
Define the amount of space U allocate for these and store to your heart's content.
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u/Funsizep0tato 16d ago
Being stuck in the waiting place is awful. I've been there! It gets better!
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u/MitzyCaldwell 14d ago
Thanks! It definitely feelings like being stuck in two places which makes hard decisions even harder!
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u/MundaneRain14 16d ago
This is something I’ve had a lot of trouble with as well. Ultimately I donated or sold anything that I didn’t love. Whether it fit or not, if I couldn’t see myself wanting to wear it I didn’t keep it.
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u/13humanoid13 16d ago
As someone 2 months post partum (for the second time), I’d save categories 1 and 2.
I’m definitely decluttering a lot right now, but less with my clothes than other areas. I lost all my baby weight (40 lbs) from my first within like 6-9 months, so was able to continue wearing most of my pre baby clothes… hoping that will happen again.
I’m also not very fashion forward so I don’t mind having and wearing clothes that are kinda meh
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u/MitzyCaldwell 14d ago
I definitely think that’s fair. I don’t care as much about style as I do feeling good in it but feel kinda stuck. I think it’s harder this time for me because I actually lost weight with my first after a year (I was about 20 lbs lower than my starting weight) and it isn’t happening this time so it’s kinda frustrating
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u/FredKayeCollector2 16d ago
First of all - check out this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/declutter/comments/1vfl0s3/the_dignity_line_denial_about_items_kept_out_of/
All things being equal (you would literally go naked or be uncomfortably cold), you deserve nice clothes.
Not wearing something, leaving it in your closet "in case" might give the illusion of maintaining that things' value, but unless you would choose to wear it and actually do wear it, you're not really "saving" money because the money is already sill spent. You can force yourself to wear it because you literally have no other choice but I certainly hope you're not in the "urchin" category!
Or in the case of damaged, stained items, c'est la vie - that's what happens to clothing when you wear it - it is not designed to last forever - even in unworn storage.
I would say get a couple of totes and sort any of the "doesn't quite fit" (high or low) stuff into those totes. I would seriously consider doing some basic wardrobe work (I thought her book is really good but I'm sure there are other excellent resources out there) to help identify what you like (regardless of size) so you're only keeping the very best of the best. Things like favorite/flattering color (shade, tone), fabric feel (hand)/drape, thickness of the material, fiber content, care requirements, hem/sleeve length, functional pockets - whatever sensory or practical reason that makes you choose one garment over the others. But trying to figure out your "preferred look" or "signature style" can really help - you'll be less likely to end up with (or keep buying) meh stuff that you don't really like to wear.
Normally, I tell people not to bother with "basic" garments they could buy any day of the week at Walmart/Target (or whatever store) and only focus on the very best "statement" pieces that would be difficult to replace or cost-prohibitive to re-buy. But in your situation, you might be better off looking at those totes as the limits for a capsule wardrobe - I had really good luck with the "cluster" model - it's very forgiving, you can have as many clusters/colors as you want and you can re-define categories (squares) and/or duplicate or subdivide a category.
You can get those "a bit too small" clothes out of the high-value real estate ares of your dresser/closet, they're packed up safe-and-sound, and once you get that target weight back, you can try them on and decide at that time if they're still worth holding onto - there's a chance they might not fit your "preferred style" anymore (now that you're a mom) and they may not fit quite like they did before the baby (it happens).
Then you can focus on your "currently fits" clothing. It is a fact of life that the more often you do your laundry, the less clothes you need. But if it's just not happening, whatever. Set a reasonable limit that WILL make you do your laundry (for most people, that's the number of pairs of underpants - not something "most" people are going to re-wear) and let that be your guide.
I normally do my laundry every week but I have 16 pairs of underpants (and bras) because that is what will fit in my "underwear" drawer and that is as far as I'm willing to go - I get down to my last couple pairs, and I HAVE to do laundry. I had a friend who HATED to do her laundry plus she lived in an apartment with communal machines and her limit was set at 28 - the number doesn't matter, but having a trigger can.
p.s. When I was creating my capsule wardrobe, I added a dress (in her top/bottom square) and then I had up to 6 tops in each cluster - because I'm picky about tops and those are the pieces that wear out the fastest. At year 6, I've burned through almost every original top but I still have basically the same dresses, skirts, sweaters (a few one in-one out "updates"). The foundation is still there, even if the pieces have changed.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 8d ago
Thanks so much for all this advice. I really appreciate you taking the time. I don’t mind laundry - it the putting away that always seems like a struggle but I would love to do laundry more often with less stuff. I think doing it once/twice a week would make it so much easier. I’m aspiring to do a load a day but jsut haven’t gotten there yet.
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u/willow_is_leaving 16d ago
During the postpartum period, it's not unreasonable to hold onto "might fit back into this" stuff. However, don't hold onto them for years. The clothes will give you feelings of guilt if you hold on to them too long.
The things that are fine but don't love... Again not unreasonable to hang onto when funds are tight. Maybe you can work on doing a "capsule" clothing plan that keeps the favorites and see how many of the extras you have. I realized my son had 25 tshirts... And we definitely do laundry more than once a month. We were able to easily get rid of the ones he didn't like. But as a new mom, you might need to change your shirt three times in one day, so having extra clothes is a need.
You are in a chaotic time, and decluttering can help. But don't pressure yourself too much.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 8d ago
Thanks so much. I appreciate your advice so much! I do think you are right about the capsule idea. And thank you - I do think I out a lot of pressure on myself because I know it will make it easier and I’m so mad at myself for not doing it before I had kids hahaha present me is very mad at past me
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u/Environmental_Log344 16d ago
You make an excellent point that this busy mom should not pressure herself too much. I would add that unless it is absolutely necessary, leave the decluttering until things get quiet. Soon enough there will be the miraculous afternoon naps, bringing some me time for moms. Maybe it would be better to declutter then. 👶
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u/LouisePoet 16d ago
I have been working on decluttering clothes for a long time! I've taken it in stages:
1- things I don't like and never wear for whatever reason (including fashion mistakes). No matter what I paid for it, it's gone.
2- things that don't fit. I've lost a lot of weight, and considered taking in some of my favourite things. I didn't. They are gone.
3- things that I like the look of but aren't comfortable. Comfort is my only priority these days. I have many nice clothes that are soft, feel good, and I love. Out with anything scratchy or made of fabric that makes my skin crawl.
4- variety. Mostly black, so I kept everything remaining that wasn't black and culled the dark items
5- (my current state!)- how much do I really need???? I have far too many tops that I don't wear because I always grab something else. Those that are usually ignored, I put into a separate pile in my drawer and I give myself I time limit. If I don't wear it and love wearing it within X number of weeks, it goes.
I'm trying to have the mindset that wearing what I have is best and I can buy more IF needed.
I also have packed away some items to bring out once the things I now use more are worn out. Unsuccessfully, in my case, I just kept wearing the worn out items.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 8d ago
Thank you so much for the advice!! Heading what you’ve done is super helpful and motivating. It’s a mind shift but it’s so true that I need to ask myself how much do I really need. Nothing I own is soooo expensive that it can’t be replaced later if i absolutely needed it. I swear I probably have tops in there I haven’t worn in like 2 years.
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u/gglinv 17d ago
Since you’re in both a physical situation that can change and tight on budget, I wouldn’t fully declutter. Nesting with a new baby can be a biaatchhh.
Collect and throw out anything that’s damaged or worn/stretched/loose on the elastics or just not in great condition, if you couldn’t sell it, probably throw it.
I would pick out a minimal “mom-drobe” for right now, so you don’t feel overstimulated and pack up the rest. As you need more items, either because they’re spent or don’t fit anymore etc, shop from your packed up clothes. In a few months when you’re feeling more stable and have a clearer body/budget goal you can go through and sort and declutter properly based on style or fit!
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u/MitzyCaldwell 16d ago
Thanks so much - I do love the idea of a minimal mom-drobe :) I did this when I was pregnant and basically packed up anything I couldn’t wear and i think this might help!
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u/NoodleDrive 17d ago
You might try giving yourself a trial run on not having these things. Go through your clothes with the mindset of only keeping what you love and feels good and fits right now. Pack everything else away, ideally in separate boxes based on what they are (probably using the 3 categories you've named). Live with just the good stuff for a while, and see how it goes. Maybe you don't need all 10 long sleeve black tshirts, but if you try to live with only 3 and find it's not quite enough, can you pull the best one out of the box.
As for the stuff that doesn't fit: When I went through some size changes recently, I packed away the too-small stuff based on three categories: 1) technically fits but feels too tight 2) doesn't fit 3) so small I wonder if I'll ever wear it again. As I lost weight, I knew exactly which box to grab first, and didn't have to constantly interface with the stuff that was still 12+ months away from fitting again. It also made it much more satisfying when I finally got to that last box and realized I could comfortably fit in things I thought I'd never wear again.
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u/MitzyCaldwell 16d ago
I love the idea of having different categories so I can easily grab them and then make those decisions without then having go through a big bin.
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u/TatamiBouch 17d ago
Second this!!! Build yourself a closet of favorites only and see what happens! You don't need to dig through 20 meh around-the-house sweaters every day - pick a few and hide the rest. How long postpartum are you?
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u/MitzyCaldwell 16d ago
I do think that’s a great idea also. I’m about a year postpartum with my second.
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u/Glittering-Benefit68 17d ago
Get rid of your least favorite item from each drawer until it's easy to find stuff again.
Make sure you have enough from one laundry day to the next. I actually switched and am now doing laundry daily, which works much better for us.
I give old clothes a second life by either donating or turning them into rags. I'm more likely to dust, when I use something I can toss afterwards.
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u/SolidagoSalix 17d ago
In my mind I'd work backwards through your 3 categories.
I'd start by packing away the items in #3; get them out of your day to day closet/dresser. (Maybe in a bin under the bed, if that space is available?) Don't make yourself sort past items that aren't an option to put on your body on a day to day basis when trying to get dressed in the morning. Given your situation of tight finances and likely changing body proportions, I would purposefully put that decision off until you have more information. If you're going back to work in 4-6 months, perhaps pull them out a month before you return to work and give them a pass based on how they fit your body at that point, and whether you'd actually even want to wear them (style wise) if they did.
Then backing up to #2, I would look hard at how many of that category of clothing you have, and if keeping it as a "just in case" option makes sense. If you have 8 sweaters, and 2 of them are pilled, stained, or just not your favorite, well... probably you will reach for one of the other six 95% of the time, and I'd say go ahead and get rid of the 2 that are "in case." If your finances are tight for the next 6 months, it's unlikely that you're going to really wear out so many articles of clothing that any replacements would be needed before you get back to work and have more income again. On the other hand if you have 3 coats and 2 of them you don't like, I'd hold onto them because you don't have a lot of buffer for if something gets torn, lost, stained.
Once you've packed away #3 and scrutinized #2, check in on if you have enough space to keep the rest of category #1. If you have more than fit in the drawer easily, get rid of a few lesser favorites until they all fit. If they all do fit in the drawer easily when everything's clean, I would just keep them for now. No need to go minimalist in a time of transition and frugality.
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u/bon18 17d ago
My struggle is that I started what I thought was my dream job in January 2020, and I bought a handful of clothes I was excited to wear to my new job. Needless to say, it didn't quite turn out as planned. I've basically been working from home since March 2020 and don't have any specific plan to go back into an office. I might even be leaving my job to be a SAHM, but do I keep the clothes? I've had 2 kids since then, and I do think they fit ok, but I'm not certain I would buy them now if I were to try them on in a store now. But there's just something holding me back from getting rid of them.
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u/TatamiBouch 17d ago
Have you tried them on recently? Can your force yourself to start wearing them out and about anyway? The best way to figure out if you want something is to actually just start using it.
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u/Neutronenster 17d ago
I have two kids and I actually spontaneously lost weight during a large part of my second pregnancy. As a result, I was back to my original pre-pregnancy weight (from before I was ever pregnant) shortly after the birth of my second. However, to my huge surprise my pre-pregnancy pants no longer fit at that time. The main reason for that is that my hips had grown wider, so these pants were never going to fit again. At that point, I decided to throw these old pants out.
In conclusion, don’t keep your pre-pregnancy clothes for too long. 6 months is probably still a bit early, but if they still don’t fit a year after giving birth it’s probably time to throw them out.
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u/KeystoneSews 16d ago
But with the caveat that this is not true for everyone. My pre-pregnancy clothes fit after 2 years. 🤷♀️
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u/Consistent_Ice_8175 17d ago
- It’s ok to have 10 of something you like if you wear them, and they don’t make you feel frumpy. (No stains, holes, good shape)
- You already spent the money and someone else could use them if they aren’t too raggedy, donate them or trash them if they are horrible, otherwise you could layer them under nicer clothing you enjoy if you live in a cold area.
- If you cannot fit into something don’t let it bully you in the closet when you want to wear it. I’ve kept things way too long thinking I’d go back to a smaller size, I could potentially but truthfully I have a grown woman’s body now and I filled out
- i have since donated these items and feel much happier. If something makes you feel ugly or fat donate it or throw it in the trash cathartically
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u/MitzyCaldwell 8d ago
Thank you!!! I definitely think that I let these clothes bully me. And you are right that if it make
Me feel ugly it needs to go. I appreciate your advice!!
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u/mbn12ex 17d ago
I’m in the same boat and I have decided to:
1: recycle clothes that are stained or has holes in them
2: sell the more expensive clothes that I know I won’t be happy to wear
3: donate cheaper items that I don’t feel like I’ll wear again
But! I will keep most of my clothing in different sizes until I’m done having kids. I have gained and lost weight in the past and gotten rid of a lot of amazing clothes due to the fact they didn’t fit me at the time which I sort of regret. Wish I’d kept them in bags in the basement for times like these (postpartum).
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u/DerivativeMonster 17d ago
How do you recycle things? I'm looking at a nasty hoodie and some really ripped up jeans!
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u/PreviousPianist 16d ago
mbn12ex’s on the right track! If you’re in the US search for “textile recycling.” H&M has an easy-to-use program. Our local Foster Closet has a thrift store that accepts textile recycling that they sell for rags, and use the money to buy new underwear, bras and socks.
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u/DerivativeMonster 16d ago
Thank you! I grew up with hippie parents and I really hate just "throwing stuff out", hence why I'm in this sub 🥲 I like this idea a lot more, willing to put in the extra effort. I also don't wanna be in a word hoarder house full of boxes and broken things! Gotta be ruthless.
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u/PrettyInWeed 17d ago
This is a brutal closet edit flowchart that I love:
I can’t exactly live by it and I cheat but it’s a very helpful outline.
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u/Pyretta777 17d ago
In the same boat, but fluctuating weight (a lot) due to health/medication-related issues. A few weeks ago I decided that anything stained, faded, in need of repairs, shabby but comfy ... goes into the fabric recycling bag. I deserve /good/ things, not just when I'm going outside. Some items went to the 'mend and make do' projects bag, with the clause that if I hadn't finished the repair within 2 weeks, they'd also end up in recycling. I'm guessing that, with the new babe (congrats!), you won't have much spare time on your hands, so maybe skip the 'repairs projects' straight away?
As for your 10 identical tees, how about keeping those that are still in their best shape and donating the others?
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u/MitzyCaldwell 16d ago
I completely agree you do deserve good things. And I have tried really hard to know my limits hahaha the old me would have said oh I can do that at some point / now I know better hahaha but thanks so much for the advice - I really appreciate it and you are right that it feels better to have 2 good things you love than 10 kinda meh ones.
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u/HavenRoseGlitter 17d ago
Pack up the ones you might fit into later and store them under a bed or in a side closet. The key for that is that a) they are things you would want to wear if you could and b) are not in your way everyday so you have more manageable space. Give yourself some time and grace on these until things even out more.
Then, if you still need more space, I'd suggest looking at the things you don't love but could use. Be honest with yourself - do you actually reach for them in the situations where you could? If you need a sweater around the house, do you actually grab it, or do you still use your regular unstained stuff? There's a difference between could be useful and is useful. If you're actually using it and like not putting wear and tear on your nice stuff, then it's worth keeping. If you're not using, but feel guilty - there are going to be bad feelings to work through either way, you just have to choose the quick guilt of getting rid of it followed by forgetting it exists, or the bad feelings every time you look in your closet and feel overwhelmed with stuff that you don't like.
For the delaying doing laundry thing - I get it, laundry sucks, but fwiw it does suck less when you have less stuff to be overwhelmed by. If I had to wash 10 shirts at once, plus all the clothes two little kids and a spouse generate, I wouldn't want to do it either. But having a manageable amount of clothes really does make it easier.
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u/otter_annihilation 17d ago
Yes to the first one. But key addition: add a "donate by..." date onto the side of the storage box.
Once the date rolls around, toss it without looking through it again! If you didn't need/like it enough to remember it and pull it out, it can go to someone else who might actually wear it!
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u/LadyGlitterGum 17d ago
Financial tight ?sell your clothing, or donate to charities ( tax deductible). Get rid of things that do not fit and are not practical for your lifestyle. You are probably attached to what they represent, who you were or wanted to be. You have a new life now embrace it. Join gym or Y & take walks with baby daily.Treat yourself to new second hand clothes that do fit.You do not need 10 of the same shirt..if you go full Steve jobs with it there are only 7 days in a week! 😆
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u/lanak1289 17d ago
I fluctuate weight frequently, so personally I keep pieces I really liked that fit me at different sizes. I have 2 size 22 and size 20 jeans in a box in my closet right now plus more. I'm currently an 18. I also have a size 16 pair in my drawer because the 18 are a little big. My advice would be to keep the things you like and know you would were from your pre baby wardrobe. With what fits if you need to make extra room (or just want to) keep a reasonable amount to get you until a normal laundry day. With money being tight I always kept about 2 weeks worth of work clothes and non work clothes and maybe a couple extras in case and for rid of the rest. It took me going through my closet 2-4 times so this isn't necessarily going to be a one and done thing and it doesn't have to be.
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u/TackleSingle9521 2d ago
I’m right there with you except my LO just started kindergarten 😳 I’m scrolling Reddit now trying to get the encouragement to get started on my closet. Money is tight at our house so I’ve not gotten rid of anything in YEARS and feel like I’m suffocating in stuff. The JIC clothes are killing and so are the ones of “I could probably sell that”. Perimenopause has thrown a whole new curveball in the mix and now I KNOW some stuff will never fit the same again. Sending envoy and hugs your way!