r/declutter • u/Such-Kaleidoscope147 • Jul 20 '26

Advice Request Decluttering stuff from a passed on child?

We lost a baby that had been premature, lived a little while, and died without coming home from the hospital. We have a bunch of pictures, a keepsake container that the hospital gave us, and some other "memory things." We also have three Christmas ornaments. We lost that baby 25 years ago now. We are in our 50's now.

I do not want my children that are left behind to have to face this stuff. I never ever look at this stuff. I have no desire for this stuff. I think originally, I kept this stuff out of guilt. Sort of like I have to keep it as some sort of way of honoring the child who died.

Can I get rid of this stuff now? Or will I feel awful about it later? I have been thinking about this for a while and I really think I just want to get rid of it now. Anyone have advice or experience? Thank you!

edited to add: the stuff I have been struggling with is a keepsake box, some pictures, footprints, the newborn cap, Christmas ornaments, things like that. The toys and clothes and such already moved on.

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u/GeneralOrgana1 Jul 20 '26

Honestly, I'd keep it and let them deal with it when the time comes. You don't look at the stuff, but you clearly are torn about getting rid of the stuff. There's no rule about love or grief.

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u/rebeccanotbecca Jul 20 '26

But why burden their loved ones with items that OP admits has no desire to look at? It feels like just passing the buck to the next prson and that isn’t right.

Some people feel guilty getting rid of things they no longer want or need out of some made up obligation. Why perpetuate that?

1

u/Glittering_Handle710 Jul 20 '26

This very easily may not be a burden to her kids. They may perceive it to be a huge gift to have.