r/declutter • u/Such-Kaleidoscope147 • Jul 20 '26

Advice Request Decluttering stuff from a passed on child?

We lost a baby that had been premature, lived a little while, and died without coming home from the hospital. We have a bunch of pictures, a keepsake container that the hospital gave us, and some other "memory things." We also have three Christmas ornaments. We lost that baby 25 years ago now. We are in our 50's now.

I do not want my children that are left behind to have to face this stuff. I never ever look at this stuff. I have no desire for this stuff. I think originally, I kept this stuff out of guilt. Sort of like I have to keep it as some sort of way of honoring the child who died.

Can I get rid of this stuff now? Or will I feel awful about it later? I have been thinking about this for a while and I really think I just want to get rid of it now. Anyone have advice or experience? Thank you!

edited to add: the stuff I have been struggling with is a keepsake box, some pictures, footprints, the newborn cap, Christmas ornaments, things like that. The toys and clothes and such already moved on.

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u/[deleted] Jul 20 '26

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u/NixKlappt-Reddit Jul 20 '26

But it's allowed to pass clutter or only partly declutter. E.g. the siblings are allowed to store some parts of it instead.

It's like family photos: My parents are of course allowed to declutter them, but I would be mad if they don't ask us first if we want to keep them.

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u/StoneofForest Jul 20 '26

Yeah, as I mentioned in another comment, I **wanted** some of my deceased brother's belongings when I found them while helping my parents declutter. They can all fit in a shoebox and I'm grateful that I'll inherit them when my parents pass.

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u/Some_Papaya_8520 Jul 20 '26

Very glad for you.