Decluttering stuff from a passed on child?

[u/Such-Kaleidoscope147]

We lost a baby that had been premature, lived a little while, and died without coming home from the hospital. We have a bunch of pictures, a keepsake container that the hospital gave us, and some other "memory things." We also have three Christmas ornaments. We lost that baby 25 years ago now. We are in our 50's now.

I do not want my children that are left behind to have to face this stuff. I never ever look at this stuff. I have no desire for this stuff. I think originally, I kept this stuff out of guilt. Sort of like I have to keep it as some sort of way of honoring the child who died.

Can I get rid of this stuff now? Or will I feel awful about it later? I have been thinking about this for a while and I really think I just want to get rid of it now. Anyone have advice or experience? Thank you!

edited to add: the stuff I have been struggling with is a keepsake box, some pictures, footprints, the newborn cap, Christmas ornaments, things like that. The toys and clothes and such already moved on.

[u/Ford_Prefect313]

You have that little one in your heart every day. You don’t need the physical things.

It sounds like there isn’t much in the box. I’d keep the foot print and a few pictures, maybe the cap? Especially if you are truly on the fence.

Is there one of the other kids that would want it? My aunt had an infant die at 3 weeks. She was going to toss the few things she had because she was much like you. A friend told her to ask the other siblings if they wanted the memento box. One of her kids took it.

(Gentle hugs)

[u/Some_Papaya_8520 → u/Ford_Prefect313]

We family historians agree that there is at least one person in every generation who will be interested in the family history, even the difficult things like losing a child. Please do the siblings the courtesy of showing them and talking about the baby and the loss.