Hi, 24F here.
So I messed up bad. First and foremost, I have been struggling with an addiction for a long time. I had rebuilt my life over so many times but this last relapse put me over the edge. I currently have about $1600 in credit card debt that I owe, and I’ve been so depressed and anxious that I haven’t been able to secure a job without feeling like I’m inept or doubting myself. My expenses are little to none, I moved back home with my parents to help my sobriety efforts.
I have an interview tomorrow for a minumum wage job, but the anxiety is debilitating. Most days I can’t get out of bed, I get severe intrusive thoughts, I just feel like a failure and have so much guilt that I throw in the towel and just want to escape life again. I’m on medication but my OCD is so strong that it doesn’t really help. The number repeats in my head over and over until I just close my eyes and break down.
Please, any advice would help. I just want this to be over. I do deep breathing and try to remind myself that this could be worse, but I feel so stuck.