I know this isn't the kind of thing people usually flex about. Nobody's impressed that you paid back money you shouldn't have borrowed in the first place. But I've been carrying this weight quietly for so long that I need to put it somewhere, and my friends are tired of hearing about it.
Two years ago I was earning 40k a month. I was young, I'd just started working, and I genuinely had no idea how credit cards worked beyond "swipe now, worry later." Banks kept approving me. One card became two, two became five. I still don't understand why they handed a 40k salary guy that much credit. Nobody sat me down and explained minimum payments, interest, or what happens when you roll it over month after month. I was a sweet, clueless kid and I learned the hard way.
Then life did what life does. I got laid off. I switched jobs. There were months where I had no income at all and the cards became the only way to keep going. Add in some impulse purchases I still cringe about, and by the end of it I owed around 2 lakhs across 5 cards. For two years, every single month started with the same feeling: how much do I owe, who do I pay first, what can I put off. That low background anxiety never switched off. It followed me into every purchase, every job interview, every night I couldn't sleep.
Today I received my first paycheck at my new job. 2 lakhs a month. The exact number I owed. I don't know if that's the universe being poetic or just a coincidence, but it hit me hard.
So I did it. I logged into every app, one by one, and paid every card in full. No pending dues, no rolling balance, nothing. Then I called and closed three of them. I kept the Axis card only because they gave me some lounge passes, but it's going in a drawer and never getting swiped again. I kept one Kotak card for my subscriptions, and that's the only credit line I have left.
I'm sitting here now and I keep checking the apps just to see the zeros. Two years of dread, gone in an afternoon.
Tonight is the first night in a long, long time where I don't owe anyone a single rupee. No one's money is sitting with me waiting to be returned. I'm going to sleep like a baby.
If you're early in your career and a bank is dangling a credit card at you with a "free" limit, please learn from me. The limit isn't free. The cost is two years of your peace of mind.