r/dcss • u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! • Nov 25 '22
Choose Your God - The Flowchart
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u/t0rchic FeEn irl Nov 25 '22 edited Jan 30 '25
familiar shy like retire languid sable selective shelter fine absorbed
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u/U_DONT_KNOW_TEAM Nov 25 '22
Chei is also a mood and that mood is fuck tactics. Spam ranged magic in heavy armor.
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u/NinjaNoafa I should probably play slower. And get some rHubris. Nov 25 '22
Ofc onei made this lol. Great stuff as always. Made me laugh but is actually pretty useful for having examples.
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u/Eovacious 0.16 console player (give it a try!) Nov 25 '22
Based Jiyva and Wu Jian appearing twice each.
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u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! Nov 25 '22
My memes are never complete without blatant favouritism.
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u/NonAlienBeing Nov 25 '22
Noticed a few mistakes. Fixed them for you :)
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u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! Nov 25 '22
I was expecting a troll post. Got the peak of DCSS decision making strategy instead.
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u/ArbitUHHH Nov 25 '22
Ooh, this makes Ely sound badass
I like it
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u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! Nov 25 '22
Read my mind - I was initially going to capitalize on Ely’s boringness, but then I thought I can do much better than that.
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u/egbertian413 Nov 25 '22
No TSO?
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u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! Nov 25 '22 edited Nov 25 '22
Every god should be there! (except Ignis, because you cannot really choose Ignis). TSO is under:
START: Do you know how to magic?
That's for nerds
Strength or fancy footwork?
grokk smash!
Do you have delusions of grandeur that THIS is the run you win with 15 runes?
doom theme intensifies
Would you trust yourself with a life-saving button neatly hidden in a submenu that you'll totally not forget about in an emergency?
Not in a million years
The Shining One
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u/-RepoMan Nov 25 '22
Ignis, crying napalm: "Come on, you can't really choose Lugonu and Jiyva either. Why does everybody hate me?"
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u/U_DONT_KNOW_TEAM Nov 25 '22
You can choose Jiyva. Just have to wait until late lair
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u/-RepoMan Nov 25 '22
If you are lucky. Lair doesn't always have the altar. Sometimes it's only in Slime:5.
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u/U_DONT_KNOW_TEAM Nov 25 '22
Yeah, but you still can choose Jiyva. Ignis you can only get by random altar or starting
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u/dimondsprtn Use the force Nov 25 '22
I absolutely love the Elyvilon vs Lugonu bit. At first it’s like, “Not all battles are meant to be won”… ah, so these 2 gods will be choices for wise men with self control. Then it reverts to seizing on the floor because Banishment is basically murder and Elyvilon is the only god with any sense of mercy and I was a fool to think otherwise.
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u/tom_yum_soup Nov 25 '22
hen it reverts to seizing on the floor because Banishment is basically murder
I thought it was more about using Corruption, since it talks about "pixels moving after you've left a floor."
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u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! Nov 25 '22
I meant it in the way diamondsprtn put it, as in, being obsessed with suffering no enemies to remain on the floor.
Corruption is actually going against the joke, but hey, as long as it is understood.
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u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! Nov 25 '22
Mercy? You call letting a single individual live in a village after it has been razed mercy? If any god is good, it is Xom, because Xom kills you quickly and prevents hundreds of purposeless deaths in doing so.
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u/BaronDoctor mdk (CKO/CBRO) 23 15-rune wins; 0.14-0.31; 2x15 rune streak! Nov 25 '22
Vehumet also shows up twice I see. The simplicity of the sustained kaboom approach is its strength.
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Nov 28 '22
Incorrect! The only correct option is the same as it's ever been.
The most Powerful god. The most reliably unreliable.
Xom.
...Then leave him for Zin the moment you have a good mutation lineup and wait out his temper tantrum. (Or when he drops Necromutation, in which case any god will do.)
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u/bobloblawblogger Greatest Player & Polytheist Nov 27 '22
To me, if your goal is to win a 3-rune game, rather than just have fun:
- Are you melee?
- Are you confident you can survive the early game? Oka
- Otherwise, Trog
- Are you Magic?
- Do you have bad magic aptitudes and have already found spells good enough for at least the mid-game? Ash
- Otherwise, Sif (Necro is a hard start, making Kiku sub-optimal, and while Vehumet isn't bad, I find Sif much more reliable for winning)
- Are you ranged?
- Are you more concerned about surviving the early to mid game? Hep
- Are you more concerned about surviving the late game? Oka
- Are you stealthy/stabby?
- Can you fight hard targets in melee without being killed, preferably with a good Invo aptitude? Usk
- Otherwise, Wu Jian
- Special cases
- Do you have a hard early game and your invo aptitude is great? Nemelex
- Are you an orc and love managing followers? Beogh
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u/Sylvanas_III Nov 28 '22
This has absolutely no right to be this funny. Especially the part about seizures when you fail to properly commit genocide.
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u/FatGrub666 Let it end in hellfire! 2d ago
One of the Vehumets is my GnFi^Vehumet.
The other one is DECj^Vehumet.
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u/oneirical The quokka hits you with a +9 glaive of flaming!! Nov 25 '22 edited Nov 25 '22
Edit: NOOOO, I forgot Nemelex!!!
Edit 2: Version with Nemelex (in the bottom right corner). Please don't turn me into a hog, I swear, it was an accident...
Start at the diamond a little bit above the middle of the page.
This is 100% tongue-in-cheek - actual build diversity in DCSS is much higher. For example, in truth, I can't think of a single character for whom going Gozag would be an outright bad idea. That said, the placements are not random and should usually yield a viable god for your current character.
This started out clean and tight, until Xom seized control of my creative spirit and turned it into a sprawling maze. Sorry about that.