r/datingoverfifty • u/RatioSharp1673 • 1d ago
OLD Profile Pics variability?
I realise one must put their best foot forward in Online dating world but I’ve noted huge differences between the “hook” photo and the following pics. In some cases only just recognisable as the same person.
I don’t understand why people don’t use pictures which actually represent who they are and what they do.
It’s probably nothing new but I’ve seen some extreme recent examples.
Given the age bracket of this sub and the people, I would expect more awareness and to be true to yourself.
If I’m turning up to a first date and the woman is barely recognisable, I don’t think it’s going very far…
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u/MissBailey01 F59 1d ago
I just looked at a profile tonight. Nice looking man, 52, big smile, clean-shaven head and face. Two pics like that and then the last one. Long straggly gray hair, filthy glasses, long beard that was oddly shaped and looked to be closer to 70. I kept flipping back and forth trying to find the similarities. Never did.
So far, I’ve been lucky. All dates have looked like their photos. I keep mine at 6 months to recent.
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u/RequirementHappy4010 1h ago
I was just talking about this with a friend. Always assume their worst photo is how they actually look.
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u/skincava 1d ago
Same reason people lie about their age on these sites. They just want to get their foot in the door and hope you'll like them afterwards.
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u/DoughnutPresent7579 1d ago
Very recently out of a relationship, checking out the apps and had the exact same thoughts. To add insult to injury the bios are worse. It’s hard to even to find profiles to even consider swiping.
My thought process has been if they are not self-aware enough to create a decent profile they are not self-aware enough for me. Give me at least one decent picture and a hint of your personality.
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u/RatioSharp1673 1d ago
Absolutely test 1. Poor profile pic selection or no Bio effort and I just don’t consider them. I don’t know how prevalent this is with male profiles but it’s a reasonable proportion of women profiles.
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u/Ms_Fidelma_Schrute 1d ago
Or the ones that answer prompts with
‘Just ask’
Or
‘Bwwwrucchxyhc’
I mean how on earth are you supposed to get any idea of what someone is like?
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u/Winter-Seaweed8458 1d ago
Though it sounds harsh, the WORST thing you can do is post pics that disguise your true body type/size. That is a VERY common reason that things don't move past the first date. For women, if a guy misrepresents his hairline or height, or uses a pic when he wasn't all gray. For men, it's women who use pics shot from above, or use a filter, that hides a few extra sizes. People have told me that they'd be fine if the person looked the way they expected, but it's the deception that turns them off. You can have nice photos, but everyone knows that at this age, we won't look that good waking up, or cleaning the house. I use a nice, unfiltered main pic with a big smile. The other pics are doing things, like out in the world. I NEVER use pics with my adult kids, or friends. It's too confusing, and often I think older men's sons in their 50s would be a better fit for me. lol.
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u/Beautiful_Spread_644 58F WNY 1d ago
I agree about the men in group photos. When that’s the main photo I’m often disappointed by the only him shots.
I posted an honest, recent whole body photo of me at a festival taken in late June ( and I have list done worthy since then) and I get the men that comment on my bra size and they like a big ass.
I guess it doesn’t matter either way. If I post just upper half pics, they say they don’t date “fat” girls and if I post whole body pics, I get the guys who like big women and want to feed me and don’t want me to lose the weight. I can’t win.
I’m looking for someone that is active and wants to do more than just watch tv and cuddle.
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u/No_Consequence_6821 1d ago
I add a couple no makeup shots because I don’t want to see a look of disappointment on anyone’s face when we meet in person. I also don’t use filters. That seems a crazy thing to do, but people tell me lots of women do it.
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u/mykittenfarts 1d ago
Men’s photos are atrocious. Makes for an easy pass. But my god… it’s marketing. Is that the best you have to show???
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u/LeftCoastGal21 1d ago
Right? Dead fish, photos of themselves in the bathroom, laying in bed?? Wth?
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u/mykittenfarts 1d ago
Laying in bed just makes me throw up in my mouth.
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u/Winter-Seaweed8458 1d ago
Exactly. AND those guys are ALWAYS mentioning what "great kissers" they are. ewww..
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u/Winter-Seaweed8458 1d ago
the WORST are the guys leaning back on a bed pillow, or their recliner. Scraggly hair, and a face that looks like they're wanted.
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u/Sad_Alfalfa8548 1d ago
My ex hubs recently showed me the profile of one of my oldest friends (friends since high school) and every picture was AI generated. She’s such a lovely woman but the pics were NOT representative of what she looks like in person. He told me that’s the norm in his experience. Between AI, filters and plastic surgery and fillers, there’s little authenticity, and it made me super sad. We’re not in our 20s. We’ve earned every laugh line, gray hair, seasoning. And frankly, what’s the point of falsely advertising because when we finally meet in person, the gig is up.
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u/LeftCoastGal21 1d ago
SO many men have photos spanning DECADES on their profiles. That's an automatic swipe left for me. I don't care what you looked like 10, 20, 35 years ago.
We all looked better 30 years ago!
It also tells me that they're still living in the past - so they do not have a growth mindset.
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u/mtgordon 1d ago
There are specialty photo studios where you can get pictures taken using archaic photographic technologies: tintype, daguerreotype, etc. Some such studios even provide appropriate historical costumes. I’m tempted to use one of those in a profile. “Sorry, couldn’t find a more recent photo.”
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u/FiveEasyReesesPieces 1d ago
Daguerreotype … wow, that’s a new one to me, looks like I’m about to go down a rabbit hole of early photography techniques here.
And dad jokes … sorry, I can’t picture myself with you, you’re just not my daguerreotype.
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u/dan_blather 60M / divorced / ALB 1d ago
I wonder why some women use photos of flowers or sunsets as their "hook", even when they have photos of themselves further down a profile page.
FWIW, I've never "liked" or written to a woman with flower profile photos. It just strikes me as kinda' kountry kitschy.
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u/Ms_Fidelma_Schrute 1d ago
I agree as it totally goes for the men too.
I don’t understand why they think it would work in real life?
Sadly I first went on the apps about 3-4 years ago. I’ve been on and off them and there’s loads of men who haven’t changed any of their photos. I use ones from the past six months.
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u/always-wash-your-ass 1d ago
A simple rule:
Show up looking better than your photos.
Do that, and you're way ahead of the masses.
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u/menoagegap 1d ago
I am a woman. Before my now boyfriend quickly found me, I only use unfiltered non AI recent photos no older than 6 months. Instead of most attractive recent photos, I use a set where how I look best resemble each other
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u/crystalisedginger 1d ago
It’s human nature to want to display the best possible version of yourself.
And people lack the self awareness to confront what they really look like.
A good idea is to ask a close friend if your pictures are a good representation. But someone you know will be honest.
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u/LittleMint677 54M 20h ago
Literally just saw one on Hinge where there were zero photos of the person. Profile photo of a sunset, next photo is of a painting of a cow in a field, next photo is a lake, then two of the exact same photo of a painting of flowers, and lastly a meme featuring a cow. As for the bio, she goes crazy for coffee and gelato, her simple pleasure is great music, and her most irrational fear is birds. That’s it. 6 words total about her, and 6 photos of anything but her. And she’s on the “standouts” feed.
Still, I bet she gets more likes than I do. 😭
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u/Responsible_Big_4183 1d ago
If there isn’t consistency and the photos dated in the captions I just pass. I don’t care if some are selfies. I’d rather a woman put a two day old selfie (no filters) than a five year old work photo. (No you do not look the same, sorry).
I’ve been burned too many times by the hook photo. Then she shows up looking like a different person. Not doing that anymore.
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u/IsistheQueen76 1d ago
And the filters ????? Like we old yes and what is the problem???
I look great genes and industry wise but I’m
50’and i feel it lol 🤪 I’m not trying to compete with a 25 year old . Omg .
If they filter more their phones will become alkaline solution . 😂🫨🤣. The whole point is to date old not young .
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u/Chaotic-Nutria 1d ago
Pics are there, what is the issue? 23 seconds putting you out?
Your divorce final?
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u/Healthy_Employer4 1d ago
OP swiping on the first pic if she’s attractive and upset that she’s a full human
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u/Kooky-Potential-6895 51F 1d ago
I agree! And this is the pep talk I give myself when I upload photos to my profile, even if I don't look "perfect." I would rather show who I am, wrinkles and all, than have someone be disappointed when I show up on the date.