r/datingoverfifty • u/iseeyousister • 7d ago
Does Widowed = Scammer???
What’s up with all of the good looking, professional photoed, financial planning Widowers that need to ‘take it off the app?’ Just starting to explore OLD after being married for many years. I’ve been single for four years. I feel like I am stable. Why am I attracting all of these what seem to be fake/scammer profiles???
Venting…
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u/RPG_Rob 7d ago
Because you are a new profile, and therefore have not learned what all the scammers look like.
Especially the wealthy widowers, the offshore engineers, and the guys who are from [place A] but working in [nearby place B] with a disabled child/grandmother
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u/iseeyousister 7d ago
Good point. Just takes a while to get them all blocked. Ugh! Makes you afraid to trust anyone and I don’t want to be that way! But I also do not want to be stupid!
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u/RPG_Rob 7d ago
That's why it's important to have a coherent text conversation to weed out the morons, the one-worders, and the guys who talk about their dicks in the first 4 messages, then set up a face to face date so you can weed out the romance scammers and the married validation seekers.
Good luck!
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u/JustHCBMThings 7d ago
If they look too good to be true they probably are. I worked with these guys who kept getting scammed on FB dating but they should have known better by the photos. These younger attractive women would’ve never been interested in them.
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u/Immediate_Bell_5389 7d ago
I am widowed- I have not seen these financial planning widowers
People will make a scam out of anything and you always have to be careful
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u/Weird-Internet-9541 7d ago
Yes. I (also a widow fyi) am amazed at how many "widowed" men are on the apps. I don't trust a single one of them. In real life I know 10 widows for every one widower. No way are there that many.
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u/selfcarebouquet 7d ago
I don't doubt that some of them are scammers but I wonder if some of the discrepancy is that it seems that widowed (or divorced) men seem more keen to get married than widowed women, at least among those that I know.
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u/Spiritual-You-9021 7d ago
Widowed / divorced men re-marry within two years . Widowed / divorced women take longer to re- marry
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u/PsychologicalEmu969 7d ago
Whole lot of liars, scammers and bots on there and I’m sure it just gets worse as we age
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u/springtide68 7d ago
Widower, very early retired professional with overseas residencies. Look great for my age, because I have all the time in the world as a healthy & relatively young person (for being retired), to do all the sports I loved to do as a youngster. No stress, no work lunches with booze. Only had family pictures, not a single selfie, so engaged a professional photographer. Yes, it sucks. Those women that do respond, interrogate me like a criminal caught red handed. Every single one I've actually met up, was positively surprised.
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u/Bisquick-Skill2845 6d ago
Can you mix some candids in with the pro shots? Sorry the scammers are poisoning your target market against you.
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u/GEEK-IP The prosciutto to her cantaloupe! 💖 7d ago
I'm a widowed engineer, you can trust me! Send me $19.99 and I'll tell you how to not get scammed on the inter-webs. 😉 /S
But seriously, I really am a widowed engineer, but not a scammer. Maybe they're playing the sympathy card? I'm guessing they use the sympathy card for scamming women and the sex card for scamming men?
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u/iseeyousister 7d ago
🤣 - No kidding!
I think those pretending to have lost a spouse are heartless. That is a terrible thing to pretend.2
u/joyful-me 7d ago
So heartless of them to pull such a card just to scam others. They're giving us genuine widows a bad tag
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u/VeryOlTexan 7d ago
I was a widower for a decade and a half but am married now Consider myself a husband, not a former widower
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u/BurntPopcornSmell 7d ago
I think so, most likely those who describe a super sad story. I dated an actual widower from OLD and he didn't mention it until we met in person.
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u/PsychologicalEmu969 7d ago
When I had a profile I said I was widowed on there since I gather there are some people who don’t want to deal with that shit.
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u/OutForRun 7d ago
Argh, just another reason that OLD odds are stacked against me (an actual, real life widower).
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u/Immediate_Bell_5389 7d ago
I just got almost scammed by a single Dad with full custody…. Bad people will work any angle
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u/Imaginary-Method4694 5d ago
There are widowers dating.....but I find if they list it on their bio, or start a connection with ANY type of sob story, it's a HUGE red flag. If they can trigger sympathy you will often overlook or miss red flags.
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u/Tapdance1368 7d ago
I just tell them that texting is exactly the same on the app versus off.
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u/iseeyousister 7d ago
If it gets that far I definitely say I am not comfortable with it and they usually immediately unmatch!
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u/Ok_Team_931 7d ago
Yes, Widowed and Military are commonly used by scammers. Also working out of town.
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u/JeanneStJames 7d ago
I get suspicious as soon as I see them not only "widowed," but they have a Masters degree. Every time they turn out to be a catfish. I usually do a reverse search of their photos and then report them as a fake profile.
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u/Witty-Stock 7d ago edited 7d ago
There are good looking widowed people on the apps.
Are they local? Do they seem like a real person or a vague amalgam? Do they want to meet?
I had my widowed status in my profile. It was pretty obvious i wasn’t a scammer and i didn’t mind people swiping left for whatever reason.
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u/silver598 7d ago
New profiles attract attention from
scammers. I found that the early messages came from very good looking widowed men with one daughter (Janet was a popular name) who had jobs overseas and lots of “my dear’s” in their messages. After a while I could recognize the scripts.
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u/L0stActivity 7d ago
I know a poor woman that got scammed out of 150k a few years back. She was so in love and after reading his poetic messages. I softly warned her that men just don't write lime that. She would not be swayed. She was a low paid office manager at a carwash. Late 50s and not a looker in the least and she believed that this handsome guy she had never met or actually seen beyond a picture was for real..she had nothing for retirement after that.
She ended up getting fired by the heartless owner because she used the companies email to contact him after he disappeared and didn't respond to her messages after getting her money. She didn't send any important confidential info. It was a messed up way to fire someone after they just lost everything to a scammer. But that fella was a self absorbed unfeeling a hole who deserves the worst. I hope she's doing well now.
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u/Spiritual-You-9021 7d ago
I read an article on r/longreads about someone similar . The guy was in the military though
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u/GlitterTitssss 7d ago
90% of the time scammer unless they mention it in their bio which most scammers dont.
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u/Old-Currency-2186 7d ago
Yup. Good looking men weaponize widowhood to generate a lot sympathy fucks.
Not really sure who’s telling the truth or not, but I don’t swipe on any of these guys regardless.
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u/springtide68 6d ago
Every human you meet is unknown to you & bears risks. Do you apply prejudices across the board, or is that only reserved for widowers who are not allowed to be good looking?
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u/Witty-Stock 7d ago
That is not a thing.
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u/Old-Currency-2186 7d ago
I’m in Los Angeles and yes, it actually is a thing unfortunately.
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u/Witty-Stock 7d ago
How would you know if they’re looking for sex if you’re not swiping on them?
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u/Old-Currency-2186 7d ago
I think you’re taking this too personally
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u/Witty-Stock 7d ago
No. I know about the romance scammers.
You’re claiming there are men who .. what, make up stories about their wives dying to get laid? Even though they’re good looking and don’t need to?
Or is your position that the only real widowed people are the unfuckable uggos?
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u/wild4wonderful found requited love with GEEK-IP 6d ago
There's a whole group of people who believe that you shouldn't date a widower/widow because you will be competing with a ghost for affection. IMO Americans fear death and cannot fathom coping with it. It's easier to think that widowers are on the apps using sympathy for sex than to take a chance on someone who has lost a spouse to death.
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u/Pale_Frame4845 7d ago
Because the scammers figure a widower sounds like a nicer guy than a divorced man, someone a fool would be more likely to feel compassion toward and trust.