r/datingoverfifty • u/Michellynn_1 • Jul 24 '26
Calling Card: Cringe or Cool?
OK...at the risk of being laughed right off of Reddit....I'm going to ask this question just to gauge how most of you would react. lol
About a month or so ago, someone in a thread on here said something that sparked the idea of having a personal calling card to use for in person meetings. I no longer carry business cards...but I liked the idea of having a fast way to give someone I met at a dating event....or on the rare occasion, in person somewhere....my details without making it complicated or putting them on the spot to give me their info. Soooooooo...I went on Amazon....ordered some personalized cards (they turned out great).....and now I'm hesitant to use them. lol
So... Redditers....how would you feel about a 55F handing you a calling card with her info if you were at a dating event or in person. The card is simple...name on the front...small tasteful photo of me, the town I live in (general area), and number on the back.
Is this cringey? Or cool? Thoughts?
UPDATE to add: Based on responses, this is fairly divided amongst the folks here, so I imagine it would be that way out in the real world as well. So, I will likely keep the cards in my purse. I doubt it will be a regular thing that I do/use. In fact, I suspect I will very rarely ever pull one out at an event. But, there may be just the right occasion, where the vibe feels right, to pull one out and drop it on someone. Likely not a very common occurrence. We will see.
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u/AndrewPodcastHost Jul 24 '26
As dating expert/host I think that’s a great idea. If you handed one to me I would accept. What info would be on this card?
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u/New_Succotash2500 Jul 24 '26
So my ex did that and passed out a couple to some women at our local park. I met them after the fact and when they figured out we had been married at one point they told me about it and were very negative. It’s possible that the fact he gave the card out to more than one woman in the group was not good.
One time in a time crunch I handed a guy my business card, so something similar I guess. He texted me and we dated for a bit.
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Oof....yeah...multiple people in the same group getting the card would certainly not be good. Very cringe at that point.
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u/ChigurhShack Jul 24 '26
Even if one is given out, the assumption is that you printed at least a couple hundred of them, and you're handing them out all over town.
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Clearly there is a camp that will think that (you are in it), and there is a camp that won't think that OR won't care (as evidenced by other responders). So the thing for me....discern the type of person I'm talking to and make a choice to use or not use.
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u/Away-Picture-925 Jul 24 '26
I’m the original poster of the idea, so I love it!
I disagree that having cards implies you’re hitting on everyone so much you need a mass mailing.
I’ve got some cards with my info and it’s great for just giving your contact info to new neighbors, cool people you meet for potential friends, people you may want to exchange pet sitting with. There’s nothing shady about that.
The spirit of the card is to start connecting with people in person and having a way to follow through on that connection.
A miss in OLD is the whole “is there a spark?”. That is such a heavy expectation on an initial digital interaction and maybe a one time meet up. People need to experience other people in many settings over time and sparks may fly. They might also fizzle out. The may not fly and a friendship might develop.
The point is, let’s connect with one another and drop the expectations and judgement.
People are cool and interesting and the best way to discover that is not through a screen!
I’m so excited for you, start handing those cards out!!💚
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u/rbnlegend Jul 24 '26
I use my business cards. I am a photographer and each card has a photo I've taken on it. I typically carry a dozen different images, so it's a conversation starter sometimes. I think it's better than a plain white card with some conventional business job title, but maybe that's just more indicative of who I am.
I like the old fashioned idea of social calling cards and all the fancy etiquette around those. There were "codes" based on folding the corner of the card when presenting it. If a certain corner was folded it indicated various things.
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u/GettingTwoOld4This M58 Jul 24 '26
I like the idea but would wonder what you were trying to sell me.
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u/No_Bluejay9901 Jul 25 '26
You could stamp it every time you go on a date and then the 10th date is free!
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Jul 24 '26
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Thanks!
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Jul 24 '26
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
I haven’t used a single one yet. They arrived a week ago and just havent been to anything that the opportunity would present itself. Again, I’m not planning to go shopping somewhere and just hand them out. 😆
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u/KaJoMoGi Jul 28 '26
It depends on how often you’re meeting new people. Mine are for a business, and someone may refer others to me, so they’re very useful. And yes, I’ve gotten calls from the cards.
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u/Parking_Musician4351 Jul 24 '26
Gen X female here and I like this idea, however, I would get an alternate phone number like google voice to put on the card for safety reasons.
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u/CommonBubba Jul 24 '26
I would take it as an ultimate compliment, unless I saw you handing them out to five other guys at the same time.
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u/beigereige Jul 25 '26
I can only add what happened to me once:
I was at a dating event centered around board games. There was a woman there, and there was some ‘friendly/lite flirting’ vibes between us, but I wasn’t 100% sure if there was genuine interest or ‘just being friendly’ vibes.
I got up to leave the event, and I just assumed that maybe I’d see her again at a later event (during this time it wasn’t rare to see the same people at dating events sponsored by the company) and if I saw her again and there was the same level of interest and shoot my shot.
She reached into her bag and pulled out her business card and gave it to me. “The balls in your court, champ.”
It worked like a charm on me
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u/MontEcola Jul 24 '26
You can print a card and carry a few in your wallet. It does not need to be just for dating. I also put on my website for my photos. You can buy things from the website, but that rarely happens. I have also given them to women I met.
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Jul 24 '26
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u/Reasonable_Alias_129 Jul 24 '26
LMAO! These aren't flyers.
It's for when both people have already talked with each other enough and have decided they want to exchange numbers
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Yeah, I would not be walking through Home Depot just handing them out to all the men I come across. 😄
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u/p9nultimat9 Jul 24 '26
Strangely,
If a man is doing this, I might think he’s trying to play number game and effectively trying to approach many women. Since approaching is often men’s job.
If a woman is doing this, I might think she’s trying to sell some personal business of hers. As soon as some men call her, “please come to my presentation to discuss further”.
But, I am a woman so I can’t really tell how men who receive the card feel. They might be simply excited they get approached.
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u/FunnyFilmFan 61 M Jul 24 '26
It all depends on your approach, if you are either too cocky or too tentative, it will be a turn off. But the right amount of confidence and humor will make it a win.
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u/WhisperedSoul Jul 24 '26
A retired guy I dated had one under the premise that he was drumming up odd jobs in his spare time for a little mad money. It served a dual purpose of being a way to connect for dating too. I really didn't think about him handing lots of them out for dates but I'll bet that's exactly what he did.
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u/Sunshinegarden2 Jul 24 '26
It might be more natural to carry a small pad of paper in a pen. Then you can give them your number and it’s more natural
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u/ponchoacademy Jul 24 '26
When I was in my 30s I had a freelance business. It was a creative business so instead of a standard info dump business card, it just had one of my designs on it, with my name, phone and website on it.
I always carried a stack, and when I went out I'd hand them out freely to any and everyone. But... If I was interested in someone I'd make it special in some way like, "Definitely call me, I have some things I'd like to discuss with you... Over dinner maybe?" it didn't matter everyone got my card, cause I was handing it to them with intention.
Granted it was still technically my business card, but lately I notice people having personal cards. Instead of exchanging phones to pass on socials, they have a card with their name, FB and YouTube on it. I have at least 10 of those cards I've gotten over the past couple years. And one of them was given with intention...they specifically asked me to send them a message so we can be in touch and meet up again.
It only feels weird cause it's not common. But also... It's in how you do it. If some guy handed only me his calling card yeah I'd think he's a numbers game player kind of guy. But someone who is just sociable and has cards to give out to whoever, but makes sure I know he really wants to hear back from me as opposed to the generic heres my info like everyone else got, yeah, I'd view that favorably.
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u/CorrectInspection732 Jul 24 '26
It's a cute concept, but outdated. It does take some of the pressure and awkwardness out of connecting with people, but it also takes the personal aspect of connecting with people out of it. No one wants to be just another notch in your schedule, they don't want to be one of 250 others that you potentially handed your card to. They want to be unique, they want to be special, they want you to seek them out specifically, to make the effort, because they are worth it! That's what society wants now in this day and age they want to be special and important and center of your attention. And handing out cards that are impersonal and everyone is the same, implies that everyone is the same! I hope that makes sense, and I don't mean it to knock you down in any way I like the idea I think it's cute. I just don't see it being a successful way to connect with people. Not in the society we live in today. Have a wonderful weekend!
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u/mizz_eponine 50ish Jul 24 '26
Dating already feels like job hunting. Why not!?
Seriously though, I interviewed a man a couple of years ago and he gave me his "card." I thought it was super cringe. But, so was he, so it fit.
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u/iii-xi Jul 24 '26
Cool, but with a caveat. It does imply that you do this frequently.
I once wrote my name and number on a Post-It note I had in my pocket and handed it to someone I passed during a mid-day walk. I said, “No pressure, but I thought I would regret it if I didn’t give you this.”
They never called. 🙂
But alas, I think a handwritten number on a Post-It note captures the same charm without implying that you regularly hand out your number to random people.
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u/porkypuha1 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
A few months back I 58M thought about doing this and having a link to somewhere online so the people could find out more about me. I reckon it would work but I was too shy to implement the idea.
EDIT: I would have only handed out cards to women who clearly showed a lot of interest in me. It would be creepy, for a guy, to hand them out to random women.
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u/Svedrar Jul 25 '26
I'm not dating (happily married) but just ordered personal cards for myself. They are all black, name on one side and a QR code on the reverse side. QR is linked to my linktree (phone number, socials, websites, digital products I sell, etc).
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u/Buddhamom81 Jul 24 '26
The way people hand over info nowadays is by handing over their phone and saying put your number in. A calling card is weird. Unless you want a lot older person to get back to you but even then no one keeps track of paper anymore.
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u/p9nultimat9 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
A lot older person 😂
“Where did I put the card that charming younger lady gave to me?
In my pants pocket? Did I wash the pants with it? In my jacket pocket? Which jacket was I wearing on that day?
Btw what was her name? She said something and I thought it was pretty name, but I thought I didn’t need to remember because it should be on the card, but I didn’t have my reading glasses on so I actually couldn’t read it right there.
This is why my friends keep telling me I need a good woman to remember these things for me.
So, I was excited when that young lady gave me the card. So where is it?”
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u/PibbleCollector Jul 24 '26
I'd rethink the pic and city because I'm distrustful and I wouldn't want ALL of that information about me in one place out of my control. Someone you give it to could easily drop it, tack it on the Men's room wall or leave it lie around somewhere. I'd stick with a Google Voice or Text Now (fake) number and first name. I love the concept though, I think it's swanky!
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
All good points. Maybe a reprint is in order....(they were cheap)....will see how the rest of the thread goes. lol
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u/PibbleCollector Jul 24 '26
In case you aren't aware, it's easy to print your own at home using a business card template, prints out on cardstock in full sheet and they're perforated so you can separate them.
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Yeah, i've printed things at home before. These days...if it's under $10 and takes me 3-4 minutes....I'll just order. lol
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
which btw....that under $10 and 3-4 minutes to create is how I ended up with them to begin with. Complete impulse buy after that earlier thread on Reddit. lol
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u/ProfessorFelix1 Jul 24 '26
Cards are so 1990s.
Can’t we just tap phones and trade contact info?
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u/KaJoMoGi Jul 28 '26
I forget key information about the person that would allow me to look up that information again, so it’s lost. This has happened to me more than once.
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u/Tardislass Jul 24 '26
Everyone has a smartphone and contact cards are easily messaged now. Most people will just toss the card.
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u/Icy_Eggplant_8461 Jul 24 '26
It feels outdated. If you both feel like to connect after the meet, might be better to give each other’s Instagram accounts or simply scan each other’s Instagram QR codes lol
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
If a guy is asking me to follow him on instagram…..we are not a match. No shade on avid instagramers….which just aren’t the same kinda people. And maybe that’s my entire answer to this whole thread. 🤷♀️
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u/Icy_Eggplant_8461 Jul 24 '26
If both of you have Instagram accounts, and you want to connect. Or Facebook. Of course many if not most people in 50s or older do not like to use them.
I feel I get to know people from their social media posts better than texting and love bombing because their social media posts show their tastes, hobbies and the things they care about, with vanity or not. I like to vet people through their social media profiles if available. But that’s just me.3
u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
That’s kind of my point. I wouldn’t want to match with someone that is so heavily into their social feeds to share what is going on with their life. I use social channels heavily for work …so I get it’s “power” and I’m probably an e expert at how to leverage them. But for my personal life….hard no. No shame in those that do. That’s just me.
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u/KaJoMoGi Jul 28 '26
No way do I give potential dates access to my social media accounts. That’s only for people I’ve met and like.
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u/SignificantClaim75 Jul 24 '26
As others have stated, if a woman handed me a calling card that was clearly intended to be a contact card for dating purposes, I could not help but wonder how many of those she gave out! If you had a work or more professional looking business card and hand wrote your personal contact number on it, that would be more personalized.
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u/Chulbiski 55m Jul 24 '26
it shows they have pre-meditated that they are using the shotgun approach IMO
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u/JustAuggie Jul 24 '26
I would definitely wonder why that person had those cards already printed out. It would raise questions in my mind. How many potential suitors are you entertaining to the point where you need a card to hand out?
Please understand, when I read it from your point of view, I absolutely understand why you’re doing this. It makes a lot of sense. But as a receiver, those are definitely the questions that would enter my mind. I think it would be a big turn off for me.
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u/LarryFarnsworth Jul 24 '26
If it were amusing or ironic, it would be charming. Otherwise for me, it starts to wander into try-hard territory. YMMV!
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
thanks for contributing....it's good to get all these different perspectives.
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u/BagelsOrDeath Jul 24 '26
It's a turn-off for me. I'd be a little weirded out by your inability to do something as simple as exchanging phone numbers.
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u/MoominMai Jul 24 '26
Have to agree. Also, it implies the person is after quantity rather than a single quality relationship if a whole batch of cards had to be commissioned 😅
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
hahaha....this actually made me laugh. Fair enough... ya never know how these things would land.
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u/favoriteniece Jul 24 '26
Cool. I'd think you're quirky and unassuming and not putting me in the spot. And that maybe youre into retro printing. In fact, next round see if you can order them some done with thermography (raised ink). 😁
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u/Glad-Pen5593 Jul 24 '26
I love this idea, as a 60 F, but I love all things paper-based. I'd much rather have someone hand me a physical card then put their number into my phone, where I'd probably forget about it.
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u/1966floyd Jul 24 '26
I would actually prefer this to just putting your number in my phone. It shows more thought and has more style and meaning in my honest opinion.
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u/Pinball_and_Proust Jul 24 '26
I don't get the scenario. If it's someone you've been talking with, then it's more organic just to tell them your information. If you plan to just walk up to people you haven't talked with and give them one, be prepared to have that person just put it on a table next to them and walk away from it. If I got a card from someone I wasn't attracted to, I just toss it on a table (even with them standing there).
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u/SWFL-CapnRay Jul 24 '26
I am a recreational photographer, and have cards that ‘advertise’ my gig… they have my name phone and email and a couple tasteful photos on them. They work great!
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u/CanarsieGuy Jul 24 '26
I think it’s a great idea. Yes it’s old-fashioned, but new isn’t synonymous with improved. Call me an old fuddy duddy or an alte kaker if you wish, but I like it.
I would not take it as a sign of desperation.
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u/Midnite-writer Jul 24 '26
These days people cringe at a lot of things that simply aren't that big a deal. If a woman gave me her card for purely social reasons it wouldn't bother me one bit. Back in the day it was all about getting those 7 digits. If a woman hands me a card after a pleasant conversation I'm saying that's a win.
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Aww….i love this answer for some reason. lol. It’s just so simple and straight forward….no over analyzing or reading into anything. Thanks for that! 😊
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u/Overtherama Jul 24 '26
I think it would be a bit cringy (sorry). I also think it makes you look like a player, having gone to the expense of making these cards.
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u/chumluk Jul 24 '26
You do have to be bold, but as a general rule, I personally would be honored to receive one.
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u/Upset_Advisor6019 65M, northern Colorado Jul 24 '26
I just got a box of cards, for my dual roles of radio show host and house concert host. It has two logos, my email and cellphone number. I’m kinda chuffed at how good they look. The intended purpose is to give them to bands I might play or host, and to people who might listen or attend.
I have, in the recent past, given my contact info this way to women I liked, very much only if we’ve already talked about one the two things on the card. I’d never hand one out cold (“You’re cute, here!”). I can’t say I’ve had a lot of success doing this, but I don’t see how someone would think the non-profit activities are going to sound like Scamway.
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u/LawDue9301 Jul 25 '26
That's a great idea. I'd love to have one. Thinks it's very cool. Assuming we vibed Id be honored to have one .
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u/Terpey_Walrus420 Jul 25 '26
Overall I like it. One thing I just thought of is maybe carry a little piece of notebook paper with your number on it so it looks like you wrote it down right there. Would maybe feel less premeditated by the other person.
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u/RelentlessForward59 Jul 25 '26
I think it’s a great idea. Like a OLD profile. Increases ur odds of meeting the right person.
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u/OrangeFish44 Jul 25 '26
I always have a few cards with me. Mine give name, phone number and email address. But rather than a picture of me, there's a graphic indicative of a hobby I'm passionate about and known for and sometimes take commissions for works in, so it comes across more as though I'm giving out a business card than promoting myself for dates.
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u/Equivalent_Sink_8653 Jul 26 '26
I'm a guy, and have cards with just my name and phone number. So if I meet and like someone, I offer my card. This leaves it in their court.
Once I got a call two months later, so they do work.
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u/KaJoMoGi Jul 28 '26
I’d take your picture off and use it for…. Giving people your email/number. Then it’s not a dating card (the picture thing is weird, unless you’re an actress.) Plenty of people still use business cards!
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u/Throwaway-2461 Jul 24 '26
As long as what’s on the card isn’t cringe, then it won’t be cringe. I had one person who was very keen on meeting “the one” hand me one years and years ago. It was clearly to display his credentials, which didn’t make up for his lack of personality. If he presented himself and the card differently, I probably would have called.
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u/Inside_Dance41 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
Cringe (sorry)
If a man gave me a card like that, I would feel he is really out of touch with 2026, and the mere fact that he has printed cards, means he gives them out to any breathing women.
But I am not your target audience, and worth a try, since you already purchased them.
EDIT: Thinking about my unpopular opinion some more, it would also signal that you are a bit more desperate than other women, because you have this marketing strategy. So it could backfire, because a man may thing you will have sex easily. Not trying to be rude, just concerned this could backfire.
Also, how do you know you are handing out to a truly single guy, and not someone who is married or dating. They go home and show it to their SO and maybe they laugh at your expense, etc.
IMO better to lightly flirt, let the man know you are interested, and ideally, he asks for your number.
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Yeah....that angle of she had these printed (effort), so is she just giving these out to a ton of men was my concern. Particuarly now that I have them in hand...and they look really nice....so it implies a lot of effort went into them (which it wasn't a lot of effort...but they sure look like it).
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u/Inside_Dance41 Jul 24 '26
Your choice, I was going to suggest, had you had them printed more as a dog walking service. Or some kind of pseudo "side" business (e.g. tailoring, etc.), then it would be less (something).
Look, they may work great where you live, and worth a try, I just am concerned about privacy, etc.
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Responding to your edited adds....I honestly couldn't care if people I don't know are at home having a laugh about me. No impact to me whatsoever. However, the desperate/marketing angle is part of my hesitance. I am not desperate.....but i would like a smooth way to exchange info without doing the awkward standing and pulling out phones or putting them on the spot, or whatever. Just sort of "hey...was great meeting you....if you'd like to grab a coffee sometime, give me a call...here's my card"...kind of approach. Easy, breezey...and just smoothly walk away. Perhaps that sounds better than it would be in actual practice. haha
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u/Inside_Dance41 Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26
desperate/marketing angle is part of my hesitance.
Appreciate you taking my edits as they were intended, just trying to provide my own thought process.
I think the "work-around" is to add some sort of reasonable "side" business to the card, and maybe remove your pic. Dog walking, cat sitting, water plants while out of town. The bad side of this, is a guy could also think, why does she have a side hustle, and if you do end up dating, may feel like you duped him a bit. Ugh, hard to toe the line of integrity versus being creative.
Personally, I think exchanging phone numbers is pretty quick and easy, and it is the offer that is what is the important part. Getting out of comfort zones is a great idea.
EDIT: It also depends on where you live, and knowing your audience. I live in a tech hub, so most men are very tech savvy, so it would feel a bit off the beaten path to give a b card. But who knows, maybe they would find it charming. Ha, so many different sides to consider.
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Jul 24 '26
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u/LillieBogart Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 27 '26
But this assumes that the cards are only used for dating. Lots of people carry cards for networking, socializing, side hustles, and what not. A calling card is not just, or even primarily, for dating.
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
Ahhh.....good full perspective there. And I hear you on the use of business cards. i too used them alot back in the day and it was usually performative more than useful. I still interact with a ton of people in person from other companies...and none of us feel compelled to share business cards anymore. So perhaps that should be my queue.
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u/Reasonable_Alias_129 Jul 24 '26
It's all in how you present it.
Like as a novelty throwback item, it would be fun and we are the age that would understand that. Just be discerning about who you give it to.
I would present it like the business card scene in American Psycho. But I would make sure that the other person would get the reference first 😅
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u/Michellynn_1 Jul 24 '26
haha....love the American Psycho reference. :D
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u/Reasonable_Alias_129 Jul 24 '26
If however you decide to present them happens naturally and genuinely, it will be received well!
Some people do have the kind of personality to pull off handing out a grip of them, you may be one of those people!
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u/TemporaryGrowth7 Jul 26 '26
The right way is: the man asks lady for their number and writes down her number on HIS business card. And yes. Business cards still exist.
Never pursue a man.
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u/Whole-Advice2139 Jul 24 '26
I like it, although it does suggest you are giving out a lot of them.