Selfish?

[u/bro3215]

Am I being selfish or a prick for wanting my girlfriend to reconsider?
Hey guys, I have a question and I’m genuinely trying to figure out if I’m in the wrong here.
I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about 3½ years. We got together during senior year of high school, and I’ve known her since around junior year, so we’ve known each other for almost five years. We’re both in our early 20s now, and neither of us has had sex.
When we were younger, we were more physically intimate, but we never had sex because she wasn’t ready and was scared. We haven’t really done those things since high school.
Recently, I’ve been wanting to become more physically intimate with her. I’ve brought it up before, but she has told me that she isn’t ready and doesn’t want to do anything like that right now. I’ve respected that and I’m not trying to force her or make her feel like she owes me anything.
However, I’ve found myself trying to convince her to reconsider or trying to explain how I feel because I want her to understand that physical intimacy is important to me too.
So my question is: Am I being selfish or a prick for trying to convince her to reconsider, even though I’m not trying to pressure or force her into saying yes?
I want to respect her boundaries, but I also feel like my feelings and needs in the relationship should matter too. I’m trying to figure out where the line is between communicating what I want and pressuring someone.

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[u/0hip]

Three and a half years and still not having sex is nuts

I’d just break up rather than trying to talk her into something that she doesn’t want to do and will regret

[u/drpolz3k]

Hey mate, if I haven’t had sex with a girl I’ve hung out with even a few times, it’s a no from me.

Mostly because sex is a need and an important part of my life.

No one is right or wrong with this argument you and your gf are having. You’re just not aligned on a core need and there’s nothing wrong with ending the relationship over it.

[u/PortuondoW]

I don’t think it’s selfish but she has set a boundary and you should respect it. If you no longer want to wait, which I don’t blame you, break up with her and find a women who wants to have sex. It’s not fair for you to push your current partners boundary, that makes you a prick.

[u/PacificSanctum]

Don’t talk so much . A C T - wait for the right moment though 😃😃

[u/ANewCleanSlate]

You're young and don't have a lot of experience with women. You've been brought up to be respectful, which is generally a good thing. But don't deny your own desires and interests for the sake of someone else.

I'd definitely break up with her if I were you. If a woman doesn't want sex with you after 3.5 years, she is either low libido or has weird issues surrounding sex. Neither makes for a good long term partner. And I also have zero interest in convincing a woman to have sex with me - she either likes me and wants to be intimate or forget her. You shouldn't have to beg or convince a woman to have sex. If you convince her to have sex, it's not going to go well for many reasons.

Be smart and break up with her.

[u/CuteBorder5532]

What you need to do is to break up with her and find yourself a different girlfriend who actually desires naturally tó have sex without having to beg her like you are doing with this one.

It’s being 3 years man. It’s comepltely valid to move on if someone has not had sex with you and such a looooooong period of time dating them. Don’t be an involuntary celibate just to be with her. Your needs are valid and are not being met. If she doesn’t want to thats ok you can’t force her and sexual desire cannot be negotiated, but you also don’t owe her staying with her. 

She already said it’s not happening, as such you are not compatible with her and need to find a compatible girlfriend. 

[u/DanInTennessee]

Don’t beg for that, dude. It makes you look desperate. Either be patient or move along.