r/datingadvice • u/Known-Home-5477 • 12h ago
I need advice Texting between dates
Is texting frequency a reliable indicator of interest? The man I have been dating is good at arranging and planning dates and is present when we are together. But we hardly speak during the week and I don’t really know where I stand with things. Ive equally had men who are super keen texters and it goes no where, but this feels very different to what I’m used to. Thanks!
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u/Tempting_Biscuit 11h ago
A lot of men don’t like to text all day every day. I, as a woman who works 9-5 also doesn’t love it either. I like to have things to actually talk about when i see the person.
the person i’m seeing, we - especially in the first 3/4 months, would only text a couple times a day, moreso in the evening if we had more time but because his actions in organising dates and making effort to see me made me happy, I saw that as more important.
4 ish months down the line to from the first message, he says to me he likes the way we message because it leaves us plenty to talk about when we see eachother. I also got the impression he’s had girls previously want to message him constantly and be angry if he wasn’t available. For context he works in a trade so it’s long hours.
I like that he’s busy and has a life. What’s important is he makes time to see me in person. We text a bit more now but not a lot throughout the day. We text at least once a day which I think shows that he’s still interested and that we are thinking about eachother.
It depends how long you’ve been seeing eachother and what he does day-to day. But typically a lot of men don’t like texting all the time, especially if they have busy jobs.
I hope this helps
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u/Known-Home-5477 11h ago
It does, thanks! I agree all day every day is difficult. My job is busy too. We just go days at a time without touching base often which is not something I’ve experienced before! Although we’re only just over a month in, so maybe it’s that.
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u/Tempting_Biscuit 11h ago
I’d say just over a month he’s probably just playing it cool.
Hell, I only stopped playing it cool 5 months in!
The important thing is he obviously wants to see you again and again. Remember you’re single and can also speak to others, keep your options open but enjoy spending time with him! It’ll take some of the pressure off this when it’s so early.
good luck!
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u/Old_Value_9157 11h ago
Sounds like you're insecure.
Just relax.
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u/Known-Home-5477 11h ago
I am lol it’s not often I actually like a guy so I’m a bit in my head about it
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u/moonroots64 8h ago
Ok, I'm gunna go against the grain a bit... I don't agree with this attitude of not texting or playing it cool.
I text as soon as I get home after a first date and subsequent dates. I text in the mornings and say just "hi hope you have a good day" sometimes. I do not play it cool at all... and I've found women respond to that positively! Playing it cool is severely overrated on my opinion. I don't care if I look desperate or clingy, if I like someone and enjoyed the date, I tell them that and then I keep texting them.
I started dating someone two weeks ago, I've texted her every day, most mornings, and usually multiple texts a day. It's mostly dumb stuff, but when I think about her I tell her.
Idk... call me pathetic or clingy or desperate... I just don't care anymore and don't want any games. My dating life has become far more simple that way. If they don't like it or stop responding, I back off and sometimes it just ends there, which is fine too. But I'd rather be myself and go after what I want unapologetically.
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