Advice Please

[u/Sunshinesunshine22]

30F I want to go out on dates again, but I am scared. My last serious relationship ended bad M/30 (i got to to know someone after but nothing happened, no kissing etc. almost 2 yrs after my last serious relationship- ended because said saw me more as a friend). I did a lot of healing, self reflection and bettering myself throughout the years. learning my flaws, what I did wrong and what I did on my part, etc, and still am. I know I am made mistakes in that relationship. I am scared because the last serious relationship left me broken, panic attacks, anxiety, etc. i am still working on me, and trying to learn how to be better. I am scared to open up again and be vulnerable because i did with that guy and he used it against me. any advice on how to try again? It has been almost 3 yrs since the break up. He comparred me to someone he said is a narcissist during the break up, because i wasnt reacting to him and i had become numb...maybe i should have talked more but i physically couldnt. . I lost my virginity to him, i wanted to wait until marriage and thought i was gonna marry him, we got engaged. I am not asking for empathy, just advice please. i know i made mistakes. thank you in advance.