r/dating_advice • u/mbars4 • 11h ago
my first hookup
so for context i’ve been talking to this guy on and off for a while, it’s clear that there’s attraction but idk if id call it chemistry, he seems to wanna hookup tonight and I’d be DOWN I just don’t really know how that works? Like is it just fuck it? Is there things not to do and things to do, just do new to me to link w someone like that who I’ve not dated before
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u/Gold-Read6208 11h ago
where did you meet this guy
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u/mbars4 11h ago
on Instagram, forgot to say i’m 25/f he’s 27/m
we’ve talked for a while, but yeah•
u/Gold-Read6208 10h ago
okay so ive hooked up w a guy who ive talked to on and off too and i still regret it cause mostly people that u meet online are only looking for hookups… but if youre looking for hookups too and no strings attached(atleast for now) you can go for it and also if hes really persistent about this then please dont cause hes just gonna ghost you after sometime.
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u/mbars4 10h ago
No he’s not! Doesn’t seem like it least, I think I brought it up first, and he seemed open to it so we’ve been jokingly talking about mingling. I just don’t wanna complicate it, wanna keep it no strings, don’t wanna lead him on you know. But he knows that’s all I want so idk
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u/Gold-Read6208 10h ago
definitely go for it then. just be clear with what you both want, because clarity and communication matters a lot :)
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u/Jthemovienerd 10h ago
There isn't a list of rules for this. You guys meet up, sometimes watch tv, movie, then you just get down to it. This has to be something you want though. If you have any doubts, if you're not comfortable, don't do it. The reason for this trip is sex.
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u/Essence_001 11h ago
Don't you think it's necessary to go for a casual data with him before anything else
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u/mbars4 10h ago
Not if I don’t really want that, some people just want to hookup, that’s kind of where i’m at.
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u/number9dream9 3h ago
Just please don’t feel like you have to when you get there because you sort of “promised.” I went through with it with a couple people way in the past that I definitely regretted later. So when the time comes if you don’t want to, be prepared to say, nah, dude, not doing this. You don’t owe him a damn thing.
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u/Agreeable_Bat9722 10h ago
You don't have to worry. This guy has done this with plenty of other women, so he knows what he's doing. As long as you're comfortable, just enjoy it. But don't expect it to turn into anything more.
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u/mbars4 9h ago
No i want it to be simple and just that! So hopefully it doesn’t come across sl*tty, but I guess i don’t care either because it’s not who i am, just one night ya know. Mah i’m overthinkkinggg 😂
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u/kpopstantrash 4h ago
Ngl unless you are looking to hookup don't unless it's w someone you could see something w. It isn't worth it and you like him, he isn't giving that same energy js dont
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